- Are you the type of person who doesn’t like letting people down even when it doesn’t suit you?
- Do you eventually end up letting yourself down — time after time — with your yes’s which should’ve been no’s?
Then this blurb is for YOU!
“Saying no doesn’t make you a horrible person — you are merely a person with healthy boundaries.”
People Pleasing 101
Take it from a people pleaser — it ain’t easy saying no…or is it? In my 40 odd years on this planet, I’ve only recently discovered it’s actually quite easy and painless to say no if a situation doesn’t suit you.
Most times, people move on and ask someone else or respect you for your honesty. Some people (the ones who need to realize the world doesn’t revolve around them and their needs) don’t appreciate no’s (these are the ones people pleaser’s are most afraid of).
Thing is, you don’t have to please everyone. If you are going against your grain in doing something you would rather not do — you have every right to say NO. Please read this article which explains more: Boundary Setting 101 — Target: Empaths
4 Phrases to Commit to Memory!
Without hurting or being unreasonable — you can actually decline a request.
There are 4 easy ways to say your no’s, here they are:
- ‘I’m sorry but I won’t be able to’ — and you NEVER have to justify why you can’t — you don’t have to give up voluntary disclosure. Don’t fall into the trap of rambling on and on about why you can’t. You simply can’t do it — your reasons are your own. If they ask why not, you can just say you are busy or have too much on your plate right now – finito.
- ‘I’ll have to think about it, I’ll get back to you’ — this can buy you some time to work out your succinct excuse and bow out without physical confrontation, if needs be.
- ‘I’m going to have to decline as I have plans for that day/I am busy that day’ — again, as in no. 1 — you don’t have to get graphic.
- If it’s about lending money then this one works a treat, ‘I have a strict policy about not lending money’. If they try to twist your arm, you can always say that you have been burnt in the past and will not be swayed. End of story.
Saying no doesn’t make you a horrible person — you are merely a person with healthy boundaries. When you can help someone out, do. Bear in mind that to do something against your true wishes is never going to send out a good vibration — for you or the other person.
Related article: How to Recognize a Dream Thief
Cherie Roe Dirksen is a self-empowerment author, multi-media artist and musician from South Africa.
To date, she has published 3 self-help and motivational books and brings out weekly inspirational blogs at her site www.cherieroedirksen.com. Get stuck into finding your passion, purpose and joy by downloading some of those books gratis when you click HERE.
Her ambition is to help you to connect with your innate gift of creativity and living the life you came here to experience by taking responsibility for your actions and becoming the co-creator of your reality. You can follow Cherie on Facebook (The Art of Empowerment — for article updates). She also has just recently launched her official art Facebook page (Cherie Roe Dirksen – for new art updates).