Don’t Be a Slave to Duality

Don't be a slave to duality

“When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.” 

Lao Tzu (Tao Te Ching

We seem to be tethered to duality because we live in a polarized paradigm. However, we don’t have to let it rule our lives, not anymore — becoming the non-judgmental observer of reality will help you to better understand the sometimes dichotomous nature of duality.

I touched on the concept of ‘stepping out of the matrix’ and viewing this life from a perspective of neutrality in my article last week, which you can read here:  How to Become the Observer of Reality.

This week I wanted to delve a little more deeply into the duplicity of judgment vs. non-judgment and what a brave new world we could create if we start to really get it and, better still, implement it in our lives.

Duplicity is the state of being double. As in the Lao Tzu teaching above, we can see that if we judge something as good, it means that what does not live up to your perceived version of good becomes bad.

For example: You decide that you will not eat bread anymore. Bread is bad. Other people who eat bread must be unhealthy. Every time you see someone having a sandwich, you feel really great that you have the willpower to resist the dreaded dough and you pity them for being so weak. Maybe you even mention to them that they should not be eating bread and you launch into all the reasons why the bread is bad.

A few weeks ago you thought bread was great but now you have made a judgment and bread is the enemy.

There is nothing wrong with exercising a culinary preference. You can chop and change your mind whenever you feel the wind blow up your britches. There is no judgment in that.  The judgment (and ego) comes into play when you make your decision right and others wrong.

For all you know the sandwich — that fellow, sitting on the bench next to you at lunchtime, was eating — could have been made by naked vestal virgins with the finest manna heaven could spare, baked with love and may be the very source of nourishment that he needed at that specific time.

The Trap and the Solution

I guess what I’m trying to say is that the moment you pin something as good or bad, ugly or beautiful, right or wrong, you become trapped in a box with both.

You can’t have one without noticing the presence of the other.

This is where a lot of people fall into the Law of Attraction trap. The more they fixate on what they want, the more they start thinking about the polar opposite (which is usually the more powerful emotion as it’s the very thing they really don’t want but are investing all their doubts and feelings into).

Have you ever noticed how fanatical religious people very rarely go on about the love, compassion and forgiveness of God? No, they tend to talk about all that is evil and demonic — hell and damnation (and before I get loads of angry comments — I’m certainly not painting every religious person with this brush, I know there are exceptions).

It seems to me that the more you like something, the more it’s ‘opposite’ hangs on for the ride too.

The solution is to just let things be without labeling them.

Opening the Door

The Tao (or great mystery/intelligent design/Universe, etc) is impartial and the flavor added to our life experience is conjured up in your kitchen. It’s beautiful to experience life just as it is — no strings attached.

You will naturally let things, people or situations that please you in if you open the door to pleasant experiences by keeping a joyful vibration going. The rest will find you. There is no need to label anything as good or bad, you have no idea what the bigger picture of life is and most of us don’t stick around until the muddy water becomes clear (another Lao Tzu gem).

If we did, we’d probably see that what you initially wanted to judge as ‘bad’ was just something that needed to transpire for something ‘good’ to come out of it. Why not save yourself a heap of trouble and just not judge things period.

Boy, what a fantastic, peaceful world we’d have if that was the case! Following the path of least resistance (resistance in this case being the ability not to be affected by something, especially adversely) is where you’ll find your cache of happy.

Read related ‘Tao’ article: Why Nothing Actually Matters

CRDCherie Roe Dirksen is a self-empowerment author/columnist, multi-media artist and musician from South Africa.

To date, she has published 3 self-help and motivational books and brings out weekly inspirational blogs at her site www.cherieroedirksen.com. Get stuck into finding your passion, purpose and joy by downloading some of those books gratis when you click HERE.

Her ambition is to help you to connect with your innate gift of creativity and living the life you came here to experience by taking responsibility for your thoughts, actions and becoming the co-creator of your reality. You can follow Cherie on Facebook (The Art of Empowerment — for article updates). She also has an official artist’s Facebook page (Cherie Roe Dirksen – for new art updates) and her band’s Facebook page is Templeton Universe  (if indie/alternative rock is up your alley).

This article (Don’t Be a Slave to Dualitywas originally written for and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to the author Cherie Roe Dirksen and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons.

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The Swing by Cherie Roe Dirksen

“Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.”
Lao Tzu, Te Tao Ching

We live at a break-neck, fast-paced, mind-reeling, brain-fogging speed — where everything was supposed to be done yesterday!

Sound familiar to you?

Coping in this age is quite a balancing act — one needs to be a trapeze artist just to see yourself through the day.

Blow-Outs and Tears!

I found myself burnt-out and close to the edge of insanity last week, where just about anything was triggering my tears, anxieties and frustrations. After I had bawled my eyes out and taken myself to the point of exhaustion, I began to reflect.

  • Why had I not noticed the signs of my burn-out?
  • What could I have done for myself to prevent this?

There was no simple, blanket answer but there was one thing I knew for sure — I simply wasn’t taking care of myself.

I was giving myself no time for meditation, reflection, sitting in my garden or any kind of ‘zenning’ out whatsoever. It was just go, go, go…

Universal Signs and Course Alterations

When we are spinning off our axis, the Universe usually grounds us somehow in an attempt to make us stop, drop and reflect (take a knee!). Sometimes it comes as a severe blow (emotionally or physically), illness, headaches, accidents or nervous breakdowns.

So, if you wanted to make a perfect recipe for disaster, try these steps (or maybe you’ll opt for their counterpart):

  • Don’t make time for yourself — or maybe try pampering yourself every day with a long, hot soak in the tub or an hour of reading on the sofa. Sometimes (and especially if we have families that keep us on our toes) we need some ‘alone’ time — just a bit of space to call our own for an hour or so. Try ask a partner or friend to help out if you need a little time-out.
  • Don’t go outdoors, just keep on sitting behind that desk/computer screen — or perhaps go for a half hour walk in the park or sit on the beach listening to the waves crash. Even if you just sit in your garden — get some good ‘ol Earth therapy. Listen to the birds singing or the wind blowing. Walk bare-feet on the grass.
  • Don’t listen to your innate — or perhaps pay attention to your gut feeling. What is it that you feel you should be doing in this moment? If it stresses you out to think of doing it because you don’t have time — be honest with yourself: Do you truthfully not have time — not even 10 minutes? Or can you spare a little time for yourself in order to save a meltdown moment?
  • Don’t take time to organize your day — or think about prioritizing your schedule first thing over your morning cuppa so you have a game-plan for the rest of the day. This can make you feel organized and in control which can greatly reduce stress.
  • Don’t cut yourself any slack — or what about accepting that you can’t be or do everything today? Let a roll-over happen if it must. Assess what you can do tomorrow instead of stressing yourself out to finish now. Sometimes we set unattainable goals for ourselves and then sweat bullets trying to carry out our own orders. If it’s other peoples orders that are driving you to drink — see if you can call a meeting to discuss reality (as in what is fairly and reasonably achievable in a given time).
  • Don’t talk about your problems to others — or swallow your pride and seek out a kind and attentive ear of a friend, family member or colleague. Sometimes we just need someone to listen without giving advice. When we start to verbally unpack our mind clutter, it can lead us to insights to possible solutions.
  • Don’t laugh, dance or listen to music!  Any of these would mean instant alleviation of stress. So, only use these tools if you want to feel better.

Okay — I’ll confess — this blurb has been a definite personal pep talk. But,hey, if it has helped you in any way — I’m delighted! 🙂

And remember that old proverb…a stitch in time saves nine!

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