Do You Need to Call a ‘Time-Out’ For Yourself? 7 Things You Need to Be Aware Of….

The Swing by Cherie Roe Dirksen

“Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt.”
Lao Tzu, Te Tao Ching

We live at a break-neck, fast-paced, mind-reeling, brain-fogging speed — where everything was supposed to be done yesterday!

Sound familiar to you?

Coping in this age is quite a balancing act — one needs to be a trapeze artist just to see yourself through the day.

Blow-Outs and Tears!

I found myself burnt-out and close to the edge of insanity last week, where just about anything was triggering my tears, anxieties and frustrations. After I had bawled my eyes out and taken myself to the point of exhaustion, I began to reflect.

  • Why had I not noticed the signs of my burn-out?
  • What could I have done for myself to prevent this?

There was no simple, blanket answer but there was one thing I knew for sure — I simply wasn’t taking care of myself.

I was giving myself no time for meditation, reflection, sitting in my garden or any kind of ‘zenning’ out whatsoever. It was just go, go, go…

Universal Signs and Course Alterations

When we are spinning off our axis, the Universe usually grounds us somehow in an attempt to make us stop, drop and reflect (take a knee!). Sometimes it comes as a severe blow (emotionally or physically), illness, headaches, accidents or nervous breakdowns.

So, if you wanted to make a perfect recipe for disaster, try these steps (or maybe you’ll opt for their counterpart):

  • Don’t make time for yourself — or maybe try pampering yourself every day with a long, hot soak in the tub or an hour of reading on the sofa. Sometimes (and especially if we have families that keep us on our toes) we need some ‘alone’ time — just a bit of space to call our own for an hour or so. Try ask a partner or friend to help out if you need a little time-out.
  • Don’t go outdoors, just keep on sitting behind that desk/computer screen — or perhaps go for a half hour walk in the park or sit on the beach listening to the waves crash. Even if you just sit in your garden — get some good ‘ol Earth therapy. Listen to the birds singing or the wind blowing. Walk bare-feet on the grass.
  • Don’t listen to your innate — or perhaps pay attention to your gut feeling. What is it that you feel you should be doing in this moment? If it stresses you out to think of doing it because you don’t have time — be honest with yourself: Do you truthfully not have time — not even 10 minutes? Or can you spare a little time for yourself in order to save a meltdown moment?
  • Don’t take time to organize your day — or think about prioritizing your schedule first thing over your morning cuppa so you have a game-plan for the rest of the day. This can make you feel organized and in control which can greatly reduce stress.
  • Don’t cut yourself any slack — or what about accepting that you can’t be or do everything today? Let a roll-over happen if it must. Assess what you can do tomorrow instead of stressing yourself out to finish now. Sometimes we set unattainable goals for ourselves and then sweat bullets trying to carry out our own orders. If it’s other peoples orders that are driving you to drink — see if you can call a meeting to discuss reality (as in what is fairly and reasonably achievable in a given time).
  • Don’t talk about your problems to others — or swallow your pride and seek out a kind and attentive ear of a friend, family member or colleague. Sometimes we just need someone to listen without giving advice. When we start to verbally unpack our mind clutter, it can lead us to insights to possible solutions.
  • Don’t laugh, dance or listen to music!  Any of these would mean instant alleviation of stress. So, only use these tools if you want to feel better.

Okay — I’ll confess — this blurb has been a definite personal pep talk. But,hey, if it has helped you in any way — I’m delighted! 🙂

And remember that old proverb…a stitch in time saves nine!

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How to Resolve a Loved One’s Passing

White Poppies by Cherie Roe Dirksen

I mentioned last week (you can read it here: Do You Want Something to Change in Your Life?) that highlights of Neale Donald Walsch’s Spiritual Renewal retreat based on his book When Everything Changes, Change Everything will be released soon on DVD.  It is now scheduled to come out on April 24th, and I’ve been given a sneak peek to what’s inside.

I’m bringing this to you in hopes that, if you may be going through something similar upon your journey, it may provide some level of support.

Dealing with Death

One of the attendees tells their story about their grandchild. Her daughter was extremely excited to welcome a new baby into her world. But then, seven days later the baby passed. The grandmother has begun to cope, but her daughter still mourns. The grandmother desperately wants to make her own child feel better, but she is at a loss.

Neale counsels:

Emotional or physical pain is simply a physiological experience. Simply an objective experience you are now moving through. Suffering, however, is your decision about it. Suffering is your announcement that what’s happening right now should not be happening. As soon as you agree with what’s happening, your suffering will end. Your pain may not, but your suffering will end, even as the pain goes on.

Neale then explains the difference between pain and suffering, and offers his thoughts on why one’s passing – especially one that seems ‘too soon’ – occurs.  He also helps this attendee with suggestions on how to deal with seeing her child suffer.

  • What change may be going on in your life that leaves you feeling hopeless?
  • Is it something you wish to change?
  • Or perhaps someone you care about is going through change and you wish to change their hopelessness?

We must always remember that it helps to hold compassion, patience, and love regardless.

White Poppies by Cherie Roe Dirksen lr

The artwork used in this blog is called ”White Poppies” and is available to purchase as prints, posters and greeting cards. Just click on the picture above.

 

Other articles you may enjoy:

Do You Want Something to Change in Your Life?

5 Ways to Tune into a HD Quality Life

Why You Need to Pay Attention to Synchronicity Now!

Can Music Jump-Start Humanity’s Awakening?

It’s About Time This Blog Was Written!

Books by Cherie Roe Dirksen that you may enjoy:

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Top 3 Dangers of Anti-Depressants During ‘Spiritual Awakening’

Ballerina by Cherie Roe Dirksen

Please read the supporting articles and studies within this article. For further information about the dangers of anti-depressants please visit Dr Peter Breggin’s site CLICK HERE.

NOTE: This is a tough subject and please take note that these are my opinions — you must always use your discernment when reading, listening or viewing anything. 

Despair Over Humanity Disconnected 

It’s a topic easily understood by those who have been through an awakening of their soul but it is ‘eye-rolling’ material for those who have no concept of what an awakening is or going through what is termed ‘the dark night of the soul’.

“Stressed individuals are forced to live in a defunct society that has no real relationship to soul.”

I get frustrated trying to explain to people what it is and why so many go through the ‘dark night of the soul’ or severe depression when they awaken (not to be mistaken for other types of depression — I’m purely speaking of spiritual awakening).  My frustrations arise from not being able to put this phenomenon into a succinct package — unfortunately, this experience would take days to explain properly.

There are so many aspects to the awakening process.  Even the word ‘awakening’ seems vague to many.  In my opinion, it was dubbed so because you seem to start to ‘see’ things from a different perspective, hence you ‘wake up’ and view your world in a different light. When you wake up to certain truths it certainly sets you free but it severely pisses you off first. And, with this, usually comes the dark night of the soul/depression.

Help!  I Need a Psychiatrist/Doctor!

There is way too much to cover when it comes to the ‘awakening’ symptoms — what to look for and what to do when you go through this process.  However, I want to just outline one key factor in this article: Anti-Depressants.

Much is not understood about coming into soul alignment and it is easily diagnosed as chronic depression in those that cannot either talk about their experiences or feel like they have no clue as to what’s going on.

“More of a problem is now created by a few irresponsible doctors than drug pushers on street corners,” CDC Director Dr. Thomas Friede

I’m no doctor, but I do have a lot of experience in these ‘spiritual awakening’ cases.  I have been through it and scraped through a depression that lasted a good 6 months. My husband has been through it and countless friends and family members have either been through or are going through it.

I gain nothing from the information I provide (i.e. I’m not financially benefiting so I have no ulterior motives here) whereas the pharmaceutical companies reap in the rewards of keeping ‘patients’ on drugs indefinitely.

I have to say that I have met a handful of doctors who truly are compassionate individuals.  They try to help their patients with long-term sustainable advice like a healthy diet and exercise instead of plying the patient with life-threatening drugs that only add to problems or ‘polyfilla’ initial diagnosis to produce further complications elsewhere in the body.

Trust Your Instinct

Use your God-given discernment wisely when it comes to medicine and psychiatry.  You are sovereign over your body.

Practitioners can only advise but their advice also needs to be discerned or meditated upon by you, who is the only person who knows what’s best for your system.

Drugs have their uses and even I am subject to taking a pain-killer every now and then for a migraine, but the flippant use of pharmaceuticals are on the increase and it’s alarming how many people think it’s OK to continuously use toxic drugs to rectify their system.

Some people take a cocktail of drugs every day without even thinking of the long-term consequences.

The Real Killer

I’m not even going to go into the ‘petty’ side-effects of anti-depressants like nausea, weight gain and headaches here.  Let’s dive into the more severe risks.

Here are just a few hidden dangers of anti-depressants:

  • Suicide — believe it or not, all anti-depressants carry an increased risk of suicide. The worst is, the risk is higher in children and teenagers who take antidepressants.  Stay far away from alcohol as it makes this ‘side-effect’ even worse.
  • Physical Dependency — like any drug, chances are you’ll get addicted to anti-depressants and the chemical changes these pills cause.  Don’t come off this medication abruptly as the withdrawals symptoms are too numerous to list.  You need to gradually wean yourself off them and definitely seek medical advice on how to do this properly. Please read the books by Dr Peter Breggin.
  • Fudging — anti-depressants are NOT A CURE for ‘dark night of the soul’ type of depression.  They merely help, those in severe cases of depression, to cope.  You are, however, still fudging a problem that needs addressing through therapy or deep and committed inner reflection (see my list of practitioners who can help HERE). Anti-depressants ARE NOT a long term solution.

Here is a paragraph I’ve taken from an article (Antidepressants: 10 things you need to know) about the latter point that I think needs hitting home:

For people with severe depression, medication can be a very important part of treatment. It can be the difference between being completely incapacitated, and being able to engage in therapy, being able to go for a walk etc. But antidepressants aren’t a magic cure. They don’t suddenly make everything okay.

Severe mental illness can’t be fixed overnight. It usually takes months or even years of treatment to reach some sort of stability where you can get back to your life as it was before you became ill. And non-drug treatments are just as important for people who take medication as they are for those who don’t.

Doctors, patients, friends, family etc often expect medication to make the problem go away straight away. Some people will even wonder why you can’t just “snap out of it” already. It doesn’t work like that. Recovering from a serious depressive illness is like recovering from major surgery. It takes time, and the right treatment.” (source:  Hard-to-Swallow)

Here is an article by Harvard Health Publications that covers this in details:What are the real risks of antidepressants?

So What’s the Solution for Depression with a Spiritual Awakening?

The first step to anything is awareness.  When you are aware of why you feel the way you do, you can start to remedy it.

I was reading a book this morning and it hit the nail on the head.  It did what I could not do, it gave a succinct description of what an awakening is.  Here goes:

“Stressed individuals are forced to live in a defunct society that has no real relationship to soul.”

Wow.  That neat little package of words just said it all.

When you realize this and wake up to the fact that our world is based on illusion and anything worthy of soul is suppressed, you slip into depression or what is commonly referred to as ‘the dark night of the soul’.

Why?

Because it feels like you can’t cope in a world that is fake.  You feel down because you have ‘slept’ (or had the wool pulled over your eyes) for so long without realizing what was right under your nose and now that you see it, there is little you feel you can do about it.

You feel helpless, defeated, drained, angry, resentful and the list goes on according to the individual and their life experience so far.

You can’t function properly because it all feels so meaningless.  Then your partner urges you to seek medical or psychiatric advice and the medication process starts.

Partners — Please Take Note

I would like the partners of people who are going through this process to try to glean a better understanding of what may be occurring.

I do not judge you as I know how frustrating it must be to be on the other end trying to ‘keep things together’.  Many of you have families who rely on you and your partner as a ‘unit’.

However, not  allowing your partner to go through this course in their own time, may cause even further complications.  If you encourage the use of anti-depressants you are only postponing the problem and causing another potential problem (the physical decay/damage of their body).

This is not meant to scare you or be unsympathetic — it is just the truth.  The truth can be scary and the truth may hurt but the truth will out.  Try to be patient and compassionate with this process.

You can deal with anything as long as you have awareness of what it is.

Drugs cover problems and cause more internal damage than you can imagine.  You might as well let your partner take to the bottle or get high every time they feel bad.  Don’t fool yourself — pharmaceutical drugs are just as life destroying as ‘illegal’ drugs.

In fact, I read only recently, that in the last 27 years 3 million people have died from pharmaceuticals.

“Rather than popping a pill in an attempt to resolve health issues instantly, real health and wellness starts with the individual removing themselves from the medical paradigm. The key to health rejuvenation includes supplementing with whole food based vitamins and minerals, proper nutrition, exercise and a full understanding of the many pitfalls of mainstream medical science. It starts with the realization that your health is in your hands, and that you have the power to optimize your health.” ~ Extract from ‘Is there really a difference between legal and illegal drugs’.

Nature Has the Cure

Besides the awesome effects of exercise, fresh air and being out in nature — you have a plethora of nutritious food options you can draw on to help you cure and maintain a healthy body and mind.

Recent studies have shown that a common household spice like turmeric is more effective than Prozac at treating depression!

Do your research and find a natural cure.  Nature holds all the answers.  Just sitting under a tree can do more good than popping a pill. Let gardening and healthy eating be the new Prozac.

 DISCLAIMER:

This article is not intended to provide, and does not constitute medical advice. The content provided is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. If you believe you may have a condition, please seek qualified professional care. Always consult your doctor if you want to wean yourself off anti-depressants.

Original article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for LightworkersWorld.com

More articles you may find interesting:

Anti-Depressants:  Just How Safe Are They? (The Telegraph)

Are You Bottling Up Your Feelings?

Disclosure: My Awakening Blew My Reality Apart!

7 Ways to Lift You from Depression

Don’t Let the World Get You Down!

How Trust Can Bring You Abundance

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Books you may enjoy by this author:

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Finding a New Way to Accept Death

Smudgy

What a dramatic headline!

I’m feeling rather dramatic as my face is still encrusted with tears as I write this — it’s Friday the 2nd August 2013, a day I’ve been dreading for the past week and there’s no going back now.

I had no intention of writing about this so soon (if at all) but was suddenly struck with the urge to share this and, hopefully, shed a bit of perspective (and possibly a tear or two) with you.

D-Day and Empty Spaces

We put down our aged dog this morning, something I haven’t had to do before as I never had pets growing up.

“You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.” ~ Robert Louis Stevenson 


Although the procedure went very smoothly, nothing can prepare you for the emotional torrent that washes over you the minute you step back into your home and feel the empty space that furry little sausage has left behind.

I am already catching myself half way to the front door to let her back in and looking at the clock wondering what I’m going to give her for supper tonight.  Then the stark reality hits.

Needless to say, I feel like I’m drowning in my own tears right now but I know that, in time, this too shall pass and she will just be the sweetest memory (and I have so many) that will always bring a smile to my face.

A Vote of Sympathy or a Shift of Perspective?

SmudgeThe reason I’m writing this is not to angle for your sympathy or to make you feel lousy.  I’m writing this because I have been battling with guilt for the last week.  A guilt that led me to alter the way of looking at death.

Let’s cut this down to brass tacks.

This decision was a few months in the making. My husband and I have been debating whether to put her down or to wait — weighing up the pro’s and con’s.  Every time we seemed to reach a conclusion, guilt intervened.  The voice in my head would rear and whisper:

  • You’re playing God.
  • Maybe she still has a few months left in her…hell, maybe even a year!
  • She’s still got a wet nose and a twinkle in her eye on those good days.
  • Why don’t you just let her go naturally?
  • Look into those big brown eyes — she trusts you and you are plotting to kill her!

Yup, as melodramatic as it sounds, these cursed thoughts pop up every time I became resolute that we needed to do this and soon, as now her limbs were giving way.

Then the voice of reason would start a counter-argument:

  • She has had a good long life.
  • She is deaf, half blind and riddled with arthritis and ever-growing fatty cists.
  • Her back legs are failing her and you aren’t always around to help her back up.
  • She sleeps most of the time and her quality of life is not what it used to be.
  • She hasn’t been able to go for a walk in almost a year.
  • Things are only going to get worse from here on out — let her go!

You know, when I write this out and look at it, it seems like a no-brainer but when you’re the one calling the shots the weight of responsibility is overwhelming.

The run up to our appointment this morning was thwarted with days of feeling like we were doing the right thing and days when indecision crept up and cracked it’s whip in our ears.

The Point at Which Acceptance Came

smudge and mike

My neighbor has just had a litter of Labradors — yes, utterly adorable little creatures that catch my eye every morning as I open my bedroom curtains and look down at them galloping about in their yard.

Early on this week, I was looking at how curious, eager and happy they were, frolicking about the garden investigating every little thing.  It made me think of Smudgy and how much she loved her walks in the field (I never had her as a puppy, she was adopted by my mother when her first owners passed away and then when my mother died five years ago, she came to live with us).

Yes, Smudge had definitely been around the block!

But back to the puppies…I realized that instead of thinking of this as a linear thing (i.e. you are going to kill her), I needed to see this from a broader more ‘quantum’ perspective — I am going to help her to transition.

Then a new series of thoughts struck me:

  • Dubious SmudgeYou are coming from a place of love, she’ll feel that (i.e. this is not a betrayal of trust, it’s an act of kindness).
  • You will only be helping her to cross over and who knows, maybe sooner than later she’ll be one of those pups running amuck in a brand new body!
  • When she does transition, she’ll also be met by all of her other mothers (and father) who will be waiting on the other side of the veil for her.

When the Moment Came

The days that preceded today were fun.  I can’t lie, there were moments where I would have a wobble, but, mostly we made the last days the best we could.

Smudgy lived for food, so we bought her everything we could think of as a treat.  Every meal she had this week made her eyes bulge!  It was classic to see.  She got massages and was showered with love, hugs and kisses.

This morning came and I sat beside her and calmly told her what we were about to do and why.  I told her about the other side and all the potential that lay ahead of her.  I know she couldn’t understand what I was saying but I hope that she could feel the message and sense my love and excitement for her and her transition.

Cherie and SmudgyI called on my mother to be with us and the archangel Ariel (angel of animals), so my entourage was on hand!  Then I swallowed almost half my bottle of Rescue Remedy (for those of you who aren’t familiar — it’s an herbal tincture to calm you down) and got into the car.

When the time came, I was able to keep her focused on me whilst telling her I loved her and kissing her until she fell asleep.  She was looking up at me with her beautiful brown eyes — full of love and trust right up until the moment she fell into permanent sleep.

She was the bravest little soldier imaginable and I couldn’t have wished for an easier transition for her — thanks to my excellent vet and his assistant and my husband, Michael.

Detaching and New Beginnings

It’s always harder for the ones left behind, we know this.  But, if you’re ever up against a decision like this or if you need some peace and detachment, please try to see that death is a gateway to a new beginning.

smudge and the skyDetachment is different from blocking off or forgetting.  It’s about accepting the good, the bad and the in-between and finding peace with all three.  A middle ground of acceptance of what is.  It’s making a list of the pro’s and con’s and finding that all is in balance.  There’s a circle to life and circles are infinite.

Michael said that when she slipped away (he was standing next to me), he felt a great sense of relief, as if she was conveying to him that she was happy to be released.

I think that when death presents itself on our doorstep, we can find solace in remembering that all things must pass in order to be rebirthed.  And when transition is inevitable, find the strength and courage in your heart to send a soul on its way with all the love and joy that you can muster.

However, in saying that I’m still bleary-eyed and exhausted from this emotionally draining experience and I need to mourn and take some time to reflect, integrate and grieve.

Thanks for reading this, I know it couldn’t have been easy.  I hope my ‘lil Smudgy has let you see things from a slightly different perspective.

I’m going to end this off with the comforting words of my amazing vet. ‘You let her die with dignity’.

Other articles you may enjoy:

Finding the Magnificence of Your Soul

Are You Being Challenged Today?

7 Ways to Lift You from Depression

 Is Your Past Tripping Up Your Future?

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Books you may enjoy by this author:

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How to Destroy a Frown with One Simple Trick

Looking through the window...Cherie Roe Dirksen

Kiss the Rain (Kiss My Butt!)

I woke up this morning with a cloud of doom and gloom hovering over my head — a mood that can only most succinctly be labeled as feeling utterly ‘crap’.  There is just no other word to encapsulate the emotion that would do it justice.  The weather even reflected my dull mood as it was freezing cold and raining heavily.

My leaking roof dripped dulcetly into a bucket reminding me that, metaphorically speaking, I had leakages and the dams were getting ready to burst.  It sure felt like it as I gulped back the tears.

I had had a bad dream and I felt like the floor could just swallow me up as I sat on my couch not even bothering to make myself a morning cuppa.  The dream was bringing back uncomfortable memories of earlier life experiences and issues.

Lunatics and Full Moons

 Original Acrylic Painting by Cherie Roe Dirksen

Prints and Greeting Cards Available – click on picture

I pondered these issues and came to my resolutions but still felt completely voided — I really intensely can’t bear this zero-point energy!  2013 was labeled astrologically and esoterically as the ‘Year of Full Moons’ and it sure is living up to all expectation.

One minute you’re on a high and the next minute you’re begging for the earth to swallow you whole.

My husband meandered down the stairs and after settling down, got the rundown of why my face looked like I was sucking on a sour-worm confectionary — a sight he is not that unfamiliar with.

Ebbs and Flows

We are both used to each others severe energetic mood swings by now and, no, it’s not because we are schizophrenic or in any dire need of a high dosage of Lithium — it’s a part of our reconfiguration to all this new energy influx, what some are calling the birthing of a new age or the ascension of humanity.  Read more about that HERE.

But let’s get back to this 3D life of woe and misery…

Music is My First Love

I had things to do; dishes to wash, paintings to package (a chore that has me getting my knickers in a knot with tape in my hair and cardboard lying all over the floor — suffice to say, not something I relish) and other tedious work-related stuff.

What to do?

RHAPSODY IN BLUE RB lo rs

Prints and Greeting Cards Available — click on picture

I reached over for my iPod and placed it on the docking station.  The Beatles started playing ‘Rain’ (how appropriate!) and I instantly felt my mood begin to lift as I boogied down to some good old ’60’s rock.

I know I’ve banged on about this before but I just feel it needs reiterating;  MUSIC CURES ALL AILS!

Seriously, I thought nothing was going to bring me out of this pit but within 30 seconds my arse was swaying to the synchronized sounds of the fab four.

Mike looked at me, eyebrows raised as if to say, ‘And now?’.  I just smiled…sweet music, my hero!

Next step:  Where’s my coffee plunger?

Time for some chat back….

  • Who’s your favourite band/musician?
  • What music instantly lifts your vibration?
  • Have you ever tried music therapy?
  • Does music lift your spirits when you’re down in the dumps?

Other articles you may enjoy:

7 Ways to Lift You from Depression

4 Ways to Motivate Yourself Out of Bed

Are You Running Yourself into the Ground?

2 Musical Quotations To Take Note Of

What Always Helps Me Out When I’m Stuck in ‘The Void’

Books you may enjoy:

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The Freedom Checklist – What Every Human Being Needs to Know

Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.

~Sigmund Freud

Sitting under tree

The Weight of the World

Hello Earthling! How nice of you to have dropped by this titillating planet filled with such great diversity and beauty.

What was that you said?  Did you say that you:

Feel burdened by society and all that is wrong with the world?

You feel an overwhelming pressure to change the world?

Did I hear you right?  Did you say that you even feel guilty or responsible for the state of the world?

What an awful burden it is to bear when we decide to take on the weight of the world, or on a lesser degree, the weight of another person’s choices or life.

Are you guilty of this?  Yes…no…perhaps a little?

Are You Suffering From Mad Cow Disease?

Let me get clear on this.  Sit down and make yourself comfortable because I need your undivided attention.

Holy cow!  I only recently realized that I’ve been a complete idiot — a buffoon of the highest degree.

In what textbook did I read that I need to change the world, take over if I saw someone else suffering along their path or put every effort into making people see the world the way I see it?

Nope, can’t think of the name of that book so I must have somehow imagined it.  But how many of you can say you feel the same way?

You may feel responsible for your partner, your grown up children, your friends and other members of your family.  You may even take on the responsibility of complete strangers.

Light Bulbs and Cricket Bats

Let’s get straight to the juicy bit of this article — either you’re going to have an ‘a-ha’ moment or you are going to have to beat yourself over the head a couple of times with a bat to whack the sense home.

You were born here on planet Earth and the global problems were here, social structure (no matter how much you may dislike it) was already in place.  Thanks to our ancestors, the worlds configuration was in place the moment you catapulted into reality — the good, the bad and the ugly.  You are not responsible for what came before you.  However, you ARE responsible for how you affect the world with your presence from this moment onwards.  Every choice you make is part and parcel to your responsibility.  Own it.

You were born on planet Earth and you needed to work out some of your own lessons and you’re doing great.  When you decide to shift your focus onto another person’s lessons and try to tamper with their version of reality — you have made a crucial mistake.  You don’t think the other person is capable of handling their own lives so you intervene.  You may think you need to because your version of reality and what you think is the right way as it is working so well for you.  True?

Nope.  It is YOUR truth but it may not necessarily be another’s.  When you try to control another individual or their path you are basically saying that they are weak and you are strong.   Oops…not very nice.  What’s more is you’re not even helping yourself out, you’re just taking on extra baggage.

Helping or Hindering?

SittingEveryone needs to work out their own journey through life.  It is your responsibility to love and respect them enough to give them space and to only help out when you are asked to.  Get it?

You are disempowering another human being when you try to seize control or mold them into how you want them to fit into your life.

You are not responsible for any other human being but yourself (barring minors under your care, of course).  Focus on yourself and be the best person you can be so that you can be that shining example to others.  That is the only way you will make a positive change in someone’s life.  You can’t go into their space and try to effect change.

The Prime Directive

You are responsible for your life.  Your main responsibility is to be happy — you could even call this your ‘prime directive’or ultimate goal.  If you are not happy it is your responsibility to sniff out the causes as to why you are not living in joy.

So, now say you have found your bliss but it hurts you when you see other people suffer and you want to help.

Keep Your Nose on Your Face

The stark truth is that they need to take responsibility for their life and choices.  You can always help another human being but you should never force yourself or your way of life onto someone else.

To truly love someone is to accept them as they are and respect their life path.  Can you do that?

Can you step into owning your life and taking responsibility for your choices today?  If you do, the weight of the world will be lifted from your shoulders and you will experience a freedom like no other.

It’s okay to be here, it’s okay to be you and it’s okay to let other people be themselves.

You are only responsible for you.  And thanks to the wise words of Gandhi, try to be the change you want to see in the world.

Original article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Purpose Fairy

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Other articles you may enjoy:

How Trust Can Bring You Abundance

Are You Running Yourself into the Ground?

What Always Helps Me Out When I’m Stuck in ‘The Void’

How to Filter Your Blurbs

Are You Being Disillusioned by Reality?

3 Ways to Cure the Pushover Mentality

7 Things I Wish I Knew when I Was a Teenager

Self-Empowerment Books by Cherie Roe Dirksen:

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Table Books of Art and Inspirational Teachings by Cherie Roe Dirksen:

Creative Expression        Art Portfolio

What Always Helps Me Out When I’m Stuck in ‘The Void’

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‘The Forest Time Forgot’ by Cherie Roe Dirksen

Lost in a Forest of Doubt

“Trees are amazing life forms as they are grounded and rooted to the earth yet their branches are always caressing the sky — the ultimate metaphor for balance (as above so below, as within so without).”

At the beginning of last week, I found myself in a bit of a funk.

Not only did I have a bout of the despair demons but I also found myself lost in doubt — I just couldn’t see the forest for the trees.

  • What am I doing?  
  • Why am I doing it?  
  • Is any of this actually helping me or anyone else?  
  • How am I going to make my rent this month?  

Yup, the usual stuff that throws you a curve ball when you least expect it.

That night, I went to bed feeling rather low.  I woke up the next morning feeling the same.  I sat on my sofa staring at the wall, unwillingly thinking I should just pack it all in and go get a ‘proper’ job.  Oh, woe is me!

How can I carry on offering ‘self help’ and creative advice when I am in a quagmire?  My mind was tripping out on this dichotomous conundrum.

Of course, this just made me feel worse and less worthy to carry on with the site.

Who’s Only a 100% Organic Human Then?

Dream LandscapeLife isn’t all about the ups (although they’re great), it’s how to hoist yourself up by the bootstraps when you stumble into a deep hole too.

We’re all human at the end of the day (note to self and any others out there who think they need the ‘stiff upper lip’ approach all the time!).

Swallowing My Own Pills

Looking back on some of my articles, I decided to take my own advice and go be in nature.  After all, I had to prove to myself that I wasn’t talking out of my own ass with the advice I dish out.

So off I went to take a walk on the beach.

Sea Breeze and Water Underfoot

“Come forth into the light of things, let nature be your teacher.” — William Wordsworth

Holy Carumba!  Within 30 minutes I had not only got some decent walking in and some good time to think but I had also done breathing exercises and a bit of gratitude meditation too — I was feeling a lot better.

After all of this, I sat on the sand looking out at the ocean and the beautiful blue sky.  What a paradise!  I started to chuckle to myself.  This was definitely working.

I could feel that depression had completely left me and I was sitting in appreciation.

Get Your Kit Out!

I rushed back to my studio to begin work on some paintings that I saw in a vision whilst I was meditating.

This picture at the top of this blog, which I have called ‘The Forest Time Forgot’ (and, yes, I am shamelessly promoting it here in order to sustain my livelihood — click on the picture to take you to the poster shop, if you fancy this adorning your wall) started out as a form of colour therapy for me while I was mindlessly doodling the background into existence.

I stuck to Pthalo blues and Emerald greens which are very holistically calming and balancing colours.

I was listening to classical music whilst painting this which I think comes through in the sweeping motion of the cosmic sky.

I beg you to listen to ‘The Aquarium’ by Saint-Saens (below) to truly get the gist of this picture (I have compiled an audio-visual video so you can listen and view the picture at the same time).

This song cropped up on my playlist when I was busy at work and it just fitted so much with the overall feel of this piece.

Branch Codes and Cosmic Undertones

With all that in mind, ‘The Forest Time Forgot’ has a feel of whimsical calmness and universal wonder to it.  The trees seem to have taken on a life of their own with ‘facial expressions’ that were not intentional.

Trees are amazing life forms as they are grounded and rooted to the earth yet their branches are always caressing the sky — the ultimate metaphor for balance (as above so below, as within so without).

What do you get/feel/see when you look at this picture?

I was feeling really ‘child-like’ when I painted it.  Very adventurous, playful and serene.  Does that come across?

Naturally Tried and Tested

Fantasy worldSo, seriously now,  when you find yourself in a funk/void/chasm of doom — get yourself out into nature.  I did such a quick turnaround when I  decided to take some time out at the seaside — the transformation was just so quick!

The creative surges came through thick, fast and furious.  So much so that I managed to pop out 3 paintings this week in 2 days.  All the pictures in this blog are the after effects of the beach outing.

Proof that a bit of Gaia therapy works.

Try a bit of the great outdoors next time you feel the demons of despair pounding away at your door.

“The mountains are calling and I must go.” — John Muir 

Poppy Field Facebook Timeline

To download as your facebook timeline, click on picture then right-click and ‘save image as’ to your computer. You can upload it onto your facebook timeline from your computer.

Other articles you may enjoy:

3 Bizarre and Unreasonable Motives to Stay on the Planet

What is Free and Priceless in the World Today?

4 Practices to Help Cure Negative Thinking

7 Ways to Lift You from Depression

9 Great Reasons for Getting Creative (No Artistic Experience Needed)

Are You Letting the Wonders of the World Pass You By?

Do You Lack Self-Worth When it Comes to Creativity?

6 Techniques to Stop Worrying

What Nature Can Teach Us About Art

Do You Make This 1 Detrimental Mistake?

Adrift

Adrift in a Sea of Bad News?

“I just don’t deal with the negativity. I can’t get involved in that side of it. I don’t understand it, and you can’t let it take away from your life and what you are trying to do.”  Rick Pitino 

I read an article that stated ‘negativity sells’.  How sad.  Yes it does, we are all aware of that but we don’t necessarily like it.

Don’t you sometimes feel alone or like you are farting against thunder, trying to keep your spirits high or encouraging the positivity in others only to have the media and various other sources spit negativity out at you at an alarming rate?

I sure do.

Buried Under the Rubble

StrollThe influx of devastating news from the media to the sick pictures being posted recently on Facebook showcasing animal cruelty and the likes are but a few of what we’ve been bombarded with lately.

If you don’t have these social networking sites then lucky you!  You’ve just saved yourself some deep trauma.

Yes, negativity does seem to sell but we can change that by focusing our attention on solving the problems not feeding them.

The one mistake most people make is perpetuating the negativity by spreading it, thinking that they are doing good but what they are really doing is helping the offenders to spread their base filth even faster.

I know the kind of people who share this type of bad news/pictures are only trying to spread awareness, their hearts are in the right place but there are other ways of helping out that I will address below.

But before I go into that, I want to bring up another hot issue.

Teenage Dreams Turning into Teenage Nightmares

Sharing these gruesome pictures on Facebook is perpetuating the problem by offering these perpetrators notoriety for their acts (which is one of the reasons why I believe they do it).

The growing need that a select few teenagers have to become ‘famous’ is resulting in them trying anything for their 15 minutes of glory — seemingly, no matter how heinous that publicity might be.

So, what should be done about it?

What can be done is:

  • report it directly to the police (put up the photo on a bulletin board at the police station rather than on innocent bystanders cyber walls),
  • report it to your local activist group (pertaining to the content),
  • send the perpetrators love (yes, it is difficult but you will not solve anything with your hatred — look at the last few thousand years of earth history to see where that gets you.  Try something different),
  • send the victims love,
  • if you can, donate your time or money to a cause near you (if it is a crime against animals — donate to your local shelter, if it is a crime against women/children — donate to your local care center)

These are practical ways to make a stand.

I agree that awareness will change problems but we must be discerning in how that awareness is carried out.

Are You Helping or Hindering?

“Negativity doesn’t help me.”
— David Ortiz

If you can answer yes to these questions, you may be doing more harm than good.  Are you:

  • working yourself up into a frenzy or state of anger over the issue?
  • causing anyone distress with what you are doing?
  • telling yourself that it is necessary for people to see violent images to get them to stand up and take notice?

Rather ask yourself what you could do in a calm, dignified manner to help the situation.

Let’s take a quick look at the possible causes behind these actions.

Where the Trail Leads

FameTV reality shows pump out mindless garbage like ‘The Kardashians’ and ‘Jerseylicious’ (to name but a few) and the youth lap it up thinking that this is the key to success.  That through debaucherous actions they will get the attention they crave.

  • Get your own reality show.
  • Do something outrageous and get noticed.

It’s up to us to help educate and steer these youngsters in the right direction.  Coming up against it in sheer fury will fuel the fire causing an inferno, we need to address the misinformation they are being fed.

Okay, I’ve veered off the topic a tad here.  This was meant to be shining a light on how to keep your head held high when you are being suffocated by lower vibration twaddle.

Anchors Aweigh!

What can you do to keep your head above water?

SailingNavigation.

All hands on deck, Captain!  Navigate your way out of it.

How?  By doing what you can in a positive and uplifting manner.  If there is nothing you can do, pray and send love and compassion.

We’ve just celebrated St. Valentines Day last week, a day for expressing love.  Let’s not stop the day after — let’s keep that love-ball rolling and spread it far and wide.

Keep love alive and you will be able to more easily slip out of the stream of negativity when it arises.

Here are some articles to help you to stay positive:  

How to Get and Maintain that Positive Attitude
7 Proven Tactics to Spread Joy Around the World
A Practical Guide to Feeling Good

If you feel this has resonated with you and have someone in mind whilst you were reading, please do feel free to share. 🙂

This world will change but the seeds need to be sown first — be that seed planter!

On that note, here is a free computer wallpaper quote to encourage those positive vibes:

Negativity Quote

To download, click on picture — right-click and ‘save as’ to your computer. Use as desktop wallpaper or mini printable posters for around your home or office. You may share this on social networks as long as it is not altered in any way, thank you.

The above picture is taken from my painting ‘Early Morning Fishermen’ and is available as prints/posters/cards HERE.

3 Bizarre and Unreasonable Motives to Stay on the Planet

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Staying Alive

Why should you even bother?

If you are one of the lucky ones whose mind never entertained such a question, well, good for you.  If you know what I’m talking about, you’ve probably been down that road of doom and gloom and ‘woe is me’.

If I had the answer to life on earth, or life anywhere for that matter, I probably wouldn’t be writing this article —  I’d most likely be jet-setting all over the world giving my seminars to world leaders (or having high-tea with Oprah).

So what do I have to say on the matter?  Well, what I think and what you perceive are probably going to be different as we all have our own special and unique take on things.  But let’s get down to some brass tacks…

I Want Proof!

Tree PrintWhile I have a theory about what life is about, I can’t give you that 100% surety some ask for.

A friend of mine recently pointed out that if I didn’t know the answers with 100% certainty, I shouldn’t be waffling on about them.  With which my answer was simply;  that I don’t know the answers to your life with 100% surety but I know the answers for my reality and life with…well, let’s say 99.99% surety (I’ll give myself some leeway for error).

The point of incarnating with people is to share, learn and be there for each other
regardless of whether you are right or not — it’s a matter of growing together.  I think it’s rather dangerous to claim you have the answer anyway seeing that the nature of the universe is change.  Change being the only constant — even a scientifically proven study can be turned on its head tomorrow.

Now if my banging on about my life experiences helps you to see your situation with a bit more clarity, that’s what sharing is all about!  Nobody has all the answers and that’s probably how it was designed to be.

What I Do Know (with 99.99% clarity!)

  • Exiting is not easy.  We seem to have an inbuilt chip that prevents us from leaving, or at least not departing without a LOT of premeditated thought and examination of options.  Why is this I wonder?  Some will call it ‘survival instinct’ and be that as it may, we are animals with an aware consciousness and that, in itself, should give us the ability to over-ride this ‘survival’ mode.  I sense there is something else that prevents us from slipping out of the stream of corporeal life.
  • Living drives you mad.  The other splinter in our minds is the inability to ‘figure out’ what the hell we’re doing here.  Or at least, not to an extent that we are ever satisfied.  So you can’t exit without a bloody good reason and you can’t live without driving yourself insane.  Great combo, thanks for nothing, God!
  • Life is dichotomous.  Life is the biggest trip ever!  It can be so damn chaotic on one hand and then so delightfully dreamy on the other — this alone keeps us in a constant push and pull tug-of-war.  We get so frustrated with our lot in life that we erupt into bouts of cursing and swearing, bursts of enraged tears and, in a feeble attempt to get our way, we shake our fists at the heavens.  When we are exhausted from this display of contempt for living, we lie crumpled in a heap and then look up — chest still quaking from the sobs — and bear witness to a spectacular sunset and our hearts melt.  Suddenly we are propelled into bliss and we just love it here (conveniently forgetting about the drama that just took place 2 minutes ago).

What Tomorrow Brings

WindmillSo why should you contemplate staying here and living out your lives?  I haven’t got a clue, but if you don’t have the balls to bugger off I suggest you then take the bull by the horns and truly live.  Live with 100% conviction.  Live like you mean it.

If I had to hazard a guess to the point of it all I would say it’s to enjoy yourself, better yourself and help others to do the same.

Tolerate the downs and relish the ups.  Seek out the beauty and enjoy the ride.  Surf on the storms and pass them off as experience.  Don’t waste this time, you came here for a reason — you must have had a really stupendous plan for coming here, why else would you have put yourself through all this?!

So turn on that CD player, dust off your Bee Gees Greatest Hits and pump out ‘Staying Alive’.  Shimmer down and get your groove on.

Enjoy yourself, you silly goose!

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Other articles you may enjoy:

The Secret to Excellent Living

8 Life Strategies That Playing Chess Has Taught Me

Finding God and a Reason for Being Here

‘Love and Light’ — What Does it Mean?

Finding Humility Through Wisdom

7 Ways to Lift You from Depression

4 Practices to Help Cure Negative Thinking

Never cut a tree down in the wintertime. Never make a negative decision in the low time. Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come. ~Robert H. Schuller

My friend and I were out walking this morning around the neighborhood when we noticed some magnificent landscaping and flower beds to die for!  We were also, funnily enough, talking about having foggy, congested heads (physically and mentally) because of the amount of time we are spending on our computers.  We both happen to be writers.

I found that looking at these spectacular gardens really opened up my heart space and led me to think about this concept of the mind/garden metaphor.

If we can just give ourselves time in our own gardens (minds) to prune back, weed and cut off any dead branches and scrape up old leaves off the grass, we would be able to temper that stuffy headedness.

Back to my morning stroll…we then went on to discuss how meditation, exercise, getting out into nature and yoga work to unclog this tightness and tiredness in the head.

So, some good practices to follow when you feel your thoughts aren’t being honorable paying guests in your head are to:

1. Gift yourself some time for space and clarity

This doesn’t have to be for very long stretches (however long you want) but make sure it is at least 10-15 minutes of down-time.  You can sit in your garden or in a comfortable quiet space and reflect on your thoughts.  Realign them to what you feel comfortable with.  Then simply let all your thoughts dissolve and sit in stillness.  Observe what comes up and then put it aside.  Enjoy the space of just being.  We are human BEINGS not human DOINGS.  Don’t forget that.

More important than the quest for certainty is the quest for clarity. ~Francois Gautier

2. Assess yourself

If you are having a lot of negative, worrisome thoughts, ask yourself if they are really necessary?  Is worrying about it going to change anything?  How can you steer them onto a different more nurturing path?

There is a basic law that like attracts like. Negative thinking definitely attracts negative results. Conversely, if a person habitually thinks optimistically and hopefully, his positive thinking sets in motion creative forces — and success instead of eluding him flows toward him ~ Norman Vincent Peale

3. Go for a walk or do some yoga

Any kind of exercise can actually give you a huge boost.  I know a lot of people who are tired and worn out from a hard day’s work don’t particularly care for physical movement.  Perhaps you think it is the last thing that can help but it really can.  Just 20-30 minutes can really get you to shift stagnant energy and get your system up and firing.

Walking is a man’s best medicine. ~Hippocrates

If you are seeking creative ideas, go out walking. Angels whisper to a man when he goes for a walk. ~Raymond Inmon

4. Breathe properly

Take a few good and hearty breathes.  This is a wonderful grounding tool and can get you into balance very quickly.  Most of us breathe very shallowly, not allowing for the body to become fully oxygenated.  Try to take in enough breath as to fill your lungs and spill over into your stomach (you should look like your pregnant — that is an indicator that you have got in enough air). Breathe in to the count of 5, hold it to the count of 5 and then consciously breathe out to the count of 5.  This enlivens and awakens your mind — try it, you’ll see.

Focusing on the act of breathing clears the mind of all daily distractions and clears our energy enabling us to better connect with the Spirit within. ~Author Unknown

Kick out fear, worry and drama to finally start renting your headspace out to positive, nurturing and creative thinking — the paying guest.

Original article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Purpose Fairy

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7 Ways to Lift You from Depression

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, when one only remembers to turn on the light.“~Dumbledore (Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling)

Get Me Out Of Here!

We are smack bang in the middle of tumultuous, chaotic and confusing times.  With that kind of energy flying about, we have to take what goes with it — the many peaks and troughs in our day-to-day existence.  How does one draw on positivity when you feel like you’ve been sucked through a black hole and just got spat out the other end?

Yes, we all have these days.  You wake up and you, for no really good reason, feel like thumbing a lift off the planet and onto the next passing UFO (if you do decide to do this, remember to take along your hand-towel, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy manual and eat lots of salted peanuts).

Enough Tom-Foolery

Let’s get back to the brass tacks of riding out your low-wave storms.  The first thing to remember is you are not alone.  There are many people out there experiencing these highs and lows, just like you.  Enlightenment or awareness does not automatically present you with a ‘get out of jail free’ card.  No, you just need to know how to ride the tsunami when it hits.

Second thing to bear in mind is that ‘this too shall pass’.  Sometimes when we experience the dark night of the soul, we feel like we are in an emotional abyss and nothing will ever be the same again.

This is just another wave that needs surfing, you will ride it out and you will live to see another day.  Just hold tight onto that surfboard and apply copious amounts of sunblock (metaphorically speaking, in real-time just eat lots of chocolate — that usually does the trick!  Not only does wholesome organic or dark chocolate release happy endorphins but a friend of mine recently told me that it also has grounding effects).

“Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” ~Benjamin Franklin

Stocking Your Cupboard Full of Happiness

Okay, so we all have our dark moments, but what can we do to get ourselves back on track besides stuff our faces with choco-licious treats or sumptuously sipping at a glass of merlot?

Gratitude is important and heart-centered living is the future.  So with this in mind, how do we expand our feelings of love and gratitude?

Build up reservoirs of things that make you HAPPY and GRATEFUL by remembering:

Loved Ones — think of all the people in your life that make living a joy.  Picture their happy, smiling faces and feel the effect of their love in your heart center.

Play Music — from Bach to the Beatles, we all have our favorite songs that cheer us up and get a spark lit under our backsides.  Dust off those LP’s or plug in your iPod!  Have a dance around your living room floor, shake that booty and kick up those heels!  Or you can drift off to Debussy and have some quiet, reflective and pensive moments of sheer bliss. Don’t underestimate the power of frequency, let music be your bridge to aural ecstasy.

Precious Memories — bring out that old scrapbook of magical magnificent memoirs.  Remind yourself of how many moments you’ve had in your life that were full and extraordinary.

Encounters with Animals —  for those of us lucky enough to have had or currently have pets, you will know what I’m talking about when I say that they have the most remarkable way of lifting your spirits.  Go spend a bit of time with them.  If you don’t have any pets, go take a walk where you know people hang out with their pets.  Most animal owners don’t mind a bit if you stroke their animals.  Cats also have an astonishing talent to balance your aura with their purring — it has a vibrational resonance that heals any ‘leakages’.

Nature — yes, you know I like to hit this one home every now and again in my blogs.  Go be in nature!  It is calming, grounding and balancing.  If you are depressed, it is the most inexpensive cure to your quandaries and it sure beats any pill your doctor is offering you.

Count Your Blessings — do you have a roof over your head?   A comfortable bed to sleep in?  People who love and support you?  Clothes to keep you warm?  Food in the fridge?  A functional body?  These are all things we take for-granted but are wonderful markers to realign us with all there is to be thankful for and can be the very push you may need to get you out of a wallowing hole.

Laugh Your Head Off — another inexpensive cure to all dis-ease.  Put on some side-splitting comedy, something that you know will boost your morale.  A good pant-wetting episode every now and again is the best remedy for being on this planet right now.  No-one likes a sour-puss, so make sure your face is creased with laughter lines.

Go forth and make merry.

“Always leave enough time in your life to do something that makes you happy, satisfied, even joyous. That has more of an effect on economic well-being than any other single factor.” ~Paul Hawken

This article was written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Purpose Fairy

Other articles you may enjoy:

4 Practices to Help Cure Negative Thinking

3 Silver Bullets to Eliminate Fear

Is Your Past Tripping Up Your Future?

Do You Lack Self-Worth When it Comes to Creativity?

6 Techniques to Stop Worrying

How Trust Can Bring You Abundance

9 Truths to Stop You From Caring What People Think

Print

We’ve all feared, at some point in our lives, what other people think of us but here are 9 reasons to let go of the opinions of others for our own good:

1. Smoke and Mirrors

The fear of imperfection and/or of not being accepted is, of course, an illusion. Who gets to be the judge and jury on what is deemed beautiful or hideous — successful or stupid? Let me guess:  The tabloids or magazines, possibly Hollywood or the catwalks of Milan? How about TV/movies and the media? Spare a thought about who you give your power over to.  The various outlets that dictate what beauty and normal are seem to be pushing fake, in my opinion.  There are moments where true beauty can shine through these channels, but those flashes are few and far between.  True beauty and acceptance is in the eye of the beholder.  So anyone claiming to know what beauty or normal definitely is needs very close examining if they are not including every member of the human race in their rundown.

2. Self-Realization and Repair Kits

When you can out these undesirable contracts you can begin to repair them.  We have to discover why we felt the lack and how we are feeling now about the same issue. Then we must align it to our higher self by breaking down the agreement piece by piece and offer it up to the light to be cleansed.

3. Inherent Beauty and Perfection

We need to look at ourselves and find the beauty inherent in us, not always trying to fish out our perceived faults. When you treat yourself with loving kindness and nurture your self-esteem with positive thoughts, you will begin to shift into alignment with your higher self.

4. Dissecting Agreements

When we were young we had no inhibitions and sang at the top of our voices, danced our hearts out (whether someone was looking or not) and thought we were princesses and superheroes. Then one day someone came along and made you feel less than what you felt about yourself. You may have paused to take it in – then you made a crucial decision. Either you agreed with what they said or you didn’t. That is why some of us can still dance freely and not be bothered whilst others cringe at the thought of dancing in public – this could be due to an earlier experience of being made to feel like you were ‘no good’ by someone who was only giving you one piece of the puzzle.

Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. ~Lao Tzu

5. Piecing Together Your Puzzle

When I said that the person was only giving one piece of the puzzle I mean that they have a preference based on their version of reality. That is one person’s perspective in a sea of other possible candidates – ones who may have loved your form of expression.  This person could have also been a child, an acquaintance, a stranger or it could have been someone you trusted and loved deeply. The latter is often the case and can make the hurt twice as potent.  However, we must consider that some things are said in the heat of the moment and not really meant by the offender, so we really need to see why we made the agreement.

6. That Tricky Enigma Called Universal Appeal

You need to know that you can never have universal appeal.  You or your talents may not be one person’s cup of tea but what about all the other people in the world who will resonate with your particular brand of uniqueness?  However, ultimately you need to please only you. When you do this then you are immediately accepted and no outside influence can make you feel anything other than what you know yourself to be.

7. Acknowledge the Good

We sometimes tend to disregard the ones who encourage us, leaving only space in our thoughts for the ones who hurt us. Why is this, I wonder?  Everyone has the urge to be liked and accepted for who they are. This is normal. But what we need to redefine is what is normal? Every soul is special and has equally unique attributes, abilities and ways of expressing themselves creatively. There should be no judgment.

8. Identify the Judge

When judgment rears its head, we must question the one doing the judging.   Tell that judge that you are in love with your differences.  Viva la difference!  Without freedom of expression this world would be a very dull place.  Without diversity in hair colour, body shapes, talents, voices, tastes, etcetera we would be tantamount to sheep running around in a field day in and day out – baa-baa-boring!

9. Know Thyself!

Only then will you begin to discover, on the deepest level, that which you truly are and what you have accomplished – not only in this lifetime but in the countless life experiences you have had.  Draw on that wealth of talents you have stored, that which you haven’t even begun to extract from your being.  When you do, there is nothing anyone can say or do to you that would ever hurt you.  You will be resolute as to who you are and nobody can take that away from you — unless you allow them to.

When you are living with the statement ‘be the best you can be’ and you are doing this with all your integrity and might — you have nothing to fear.

Empowerment comes from fearing no-thing and facing every day with courage and love in your heart. Strive to be and do the best you can in every situation, then you will be living in your integrity.  Words or energy that does not fit with your frequency or vibration will not be allowed to penetrate your field of self.  You will have become the master of your life and your reality.

Something worth looking into, wouldn’t you say?

Original article was written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for PURPOSE FAIRY

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7 Things I Wish I Knew when I Was a Teenager

12 Things Successful People Do To Excel

Live Like You Mean It — Live With Conviction!

6 Ways to Alleviate Stress Now

Are You Letting the Wonders of the World Pass You By?

When we are in nature, we are in our natural state — you could even say we are in our ‘element’.  And that is synchronously why it feels so joyful to go for a walk on the beach, stroll through a meadow or simply sit under a tree.

 We are being reconnected with our state of inexplicable bliss.

Why Is This So?

There is an excellent documentary called ‘Dirt’, which outlines soil’s effect on every aspect of our lives, including our survival as a species.  The simple truth of this is that we are all made up of the dirt of the earth and will return there some day.   We are one and the same and share an incalculable bond with the planet we reside upon.

The very ingredients of our bodies are made up from the food you consume, which comes from the earth. When we honor and respect our planet, we honor and respect ourselves.

The house you live in, the car you drive, the computer you sit at, the ground that supports you is made possible by the world you inhabit.

 So What?

Well, this doesn’t mean you have to become a tree-hugger (not unless you feel the calling!) — all I want you to think about is your connection to our beautiful, resourceful Mother Earth.

When we enjoy our lives and take advantage of her many wonders, we rekindle that which is innate within us — the connection we have to all life, the oneness of being part of the whole.

There is a bond that is severed when we forget about nature and the true joy it can bring.  When we feel disconnected, being in nature can be the very inexpensive cure we need to re-align that which is out of atunement — which then becomes atonement (at-one-ment), reparation or making amends with your divine system.

7 Tips to Get You Started

Below is a list of things you can start today to get you into alignment with your true self.  They are designed to truly get you back into the ‘now’ moment and to be present in your body.  Explore your senses that so many take for granted, and have fun!

Here are 7 priceless things that your life has to offer:

  1. Touch — Taking a walk amongst trees, touching the rough bark.  Get back in contact with your sense of feeling textures and surfaces.
  2. Smell — Sitting on a park bench or in your garden, can you identify all the different aromas? Can you smell the sweet scent of the flowers hanging on a gentle breeze?  The time has never been more suitable to stop and smell the roses!
  3. Feel — Strolling on the beach, letting the water wash over your bare feet.  Feel the coarse sand underfoot.  Walk bare-foot through a patch of wet grass and feel that freshness seep into your soles.
  4. Taste — Biting into a freshly picked berry or a sprig of parsley — truly taste the freshness and zing of natural produce.
  5. Beauty — Appreciating the world around you — look at how glorious the wing of a butterfly is!  There are so many splendors to be taken in, try to keep your eyes open for magnificence — I promise you, you will be amazed at how much entertainment is all around you in the natural world.
  6. Hear — Listening to the sound of bees buzzing about their business — now when last can you say you stopped to welcome that precious aural delight? Take note of all the sounds around you, from the wind brushing through the leaves to the birds chirping out a synchronized melody.
  7. Vision — Marveling at a spectacular sunset or the dawn of a sunrise — can you remember lying on your back on the freshly mown lawn, just gazing up at the stars or trying to spot a shape in the clouds?

I hope you are clambering for your door this very moment, just itching to get out there!

This was an article I wrote for Purpose Fairy — published on the 3rd September 2012, the original article can be found here:  http://www.purposefairy.com/7219/are-you-letting-the-wonders-of-the-world-pass-you-by/

6 Techniques to Stop Worrying

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Why We Worry

When it comes to concerns about life’s uneasy or potentially disastrous issues, we start to worry.  I don’t think there is a single person in this world that hasn’t experienced a copious bout of the worries in their lifetime — but why do we do this?

There could be a number of reasons, some being:

  • You feel you need to ‘prepare’ yourself for the worst
  • You are a ‘glass is half empty’ kind of person and just expect the worst to happen
  • It is in your experience that disaster always strikes, so worry is a necessary coping mechanism
  • There are so many things that could go wrong and you feel you need to focus on each one to embody it or try to find a possible solution for it in the event of it happening.

Now, if we actually look at this list from an outsiders point of view — in other words, we take ourselves out of the equation and are impartial — these worries are not only a waste of precious manifesting time but they are a reinforcement of unconstructive potential timelines.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK

Just remember you bring about what you think about the most.  This is not meant to scare you, it is a preparation tool so that you can steer your thoughts to more positive neurological pathways.  When you reinforce encouraging scenarios in your mind, as opposed to harmful scenarios (aka worrying), you are creating potential for a more fruitful future.

Easier said than done?

Sure, but it is possible.

Answer this: Has worrying ever solved your problems anyway?

I’m going to take a stab in the dark and say ‘no’ it probably hasn’t, right?  So what can you do now to alleviate any future concerns you have?

Eckhart Tolle has pointed out three memorable and straightforward options that you can apply here, either: remove yourself from the situation (in this case, remove the worry), change it (transmute the worrisome thought form), or accept it totally (surrender to any future possibility).  But let’s go into it a bit more:

Here are 6 simple Techniques you can carry out when you find yourself in a state of worry:

1. Do Something 

Swap worry for doing. Can you actually do something about it now?  If the answer is yes, take those first steps and you will begin to lighten the load off your mind.  Even if it means writing the problem down.  Just getting it out of your head and onto paper can be a relief.  You can even then burn the paper or trash it symbolizing your new stance on worry.  Tell your troublesome thought who is the boss!

2. Find a solution

Map out a possible solution. Again, it is always helpful to write it down so that your mind is free of it.  When you can look at some achievable solutions, you may gain a better perspective of how you can change or alter the course of your quandary.

3. Accept

If there is absolutely nothing you can do, then try acceptance of what is.  If you cannot change what is, you need to let it go and find peace within your situation.

4. Meditate

Solutions will present themselves when we quiet the mind.  There is a wealth of information just waiting for you to tap into when you are in a meditative state.   Clearing your mind of what I like to call ‘mind-static’ (continuous loops of mind chatter) will help you to excavate that diamond of truth and gain a lucid perspective.

5. Positive Thinking

Remind yourself that what you think you attract. Do you want to attract more of what you are worrying about? If not, then switch to thinking about what you do want to manifest in your life and let all negative outcomes go.

6. Affirm Happy Outcomes

Practice positive affirmations and visualize your best outcome to the situation at hand.  Keep reaffirming, every morning and evening, this ‘happy outcome’ and truly feel the emotions of having it in your life right now.

“Make sure your thinking is pointing you in the right direction to manifesting your ideal destination” 

The mind can be trained to think differently — you are 100% in control of your destiny.  You have a choice to rewire your thought process to align with what you want to manifest — don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  Don’t fall into the trap of being a ‘victim of circumstance’ — this state doesn’t really exist as you create everything and only you can give it the necessary potency.  Playing any kind of victim role is a disempowering position that you should try to not take part in.

You are the powerful creator of your reality and you are in the driver’s seat — where are you going?  Where do you want to go?  Wherever you see yourself in the future just remember, worrying never got anyone anywhere — so…

Hakuna Matata* all the way!

*a Swahili phrase that is literally translated as “There are no worries”

This was a guest article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Purpose Fairy published on 22nd August 2012.

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Other articles you may enjoy:

9 Truths to Stop You From Caring What People Think

How to Use Your Heart Wisdom

How to Win the Lottery using the Law of Attraction

16 Imperative Choices For Healthy Living — How Many Are You Already Doing?

6 Essential Steps to Manage Stress

Discover Why My Cat Can’t Get Enough of this Oil and Be Amazed at What it Can Do for You!

4 Easy Steps to a More Relaxed You

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Life can literally exhaust our delicate little ecosystems — mind, body and spirit can be put through the ringer.

If we don’t give ourselves space and time to recalibrate and reboot our systems, we can easily burn out or have a nervous breakdown.

Relax and Treat Yourself to Some Time-Out

Todays blog is just a simple reminder that you need to take time out to honour yourself.  This could be taking a few days out to go vegetate in the countryside to pampering yourself with a full body massage.

“We very seldom give ourselves the chance to take a 2 hour sofa holiday.”

Even the little things like making time to meditate or to sit with your feet up and relax can help you to rest your physical vessel and revitalize the mind.

Pull Your Resources

For those of you who have children and are rolling their eyes at me thinking, ‘what am I going to do with the kids?’ — make a plan!  Get a babysitter in for a couple of hours, call in that favour from your best friend or neighbour, got a partner?  Strike a deal.  Where there’s a will, there’s a way — you will find a way, believe me.

No Money for a Spa Treatment? 

If you don’t have the time for a retreat or the money for a spa, here is a list of things your can do right now that cost nothing or very little:

  • Bubble-bath — Is there anything better in this world than to soak in a bubble or aromatherapy bath?  Don’t forget to light some incense and candles.  Make it a special ‘you’ time — when you do this you are surreptitiously telling yourself that you are worth it.
  • 20 Minute Meditation — Never underestimate the power of having a quick meditation session.  When you do this you reconnect with your core and/or higher self and give your mind a much-needed time-out from the mind chatter.
  • Nature Walk — Stretch those legs and get some fresh air into your lungs.  Walking in nature is a great way to unwind and de-stress.
  • 2 Hour/One Day Couch Potato — We very seldom give ourselves the chance to take a 2 hour (or a whole day for the child-free among you) sofa holiday.  Sometimes this can be just the medicine your tired body needs to catch up and catalyze some action.  Put guilt on the top shelf for a day and get out the duvet and bunny slippers — where’s that tub of ice-cream?

Go on, pamper yourself — you deserve it!

Other reading material you may find interesting:

6 Ways to Alleviate Stress Now

6 Techniques to Stop Worrying

What is Free and Priceless in the World Today?

3 Simple Steps to Release You From Depression

Are You Surfing on Good Vibrations?

Is Assumption Killing Your Relationship?

3 Simple Steps to Release You From Depression

Every Road Leads to Rome

Everything is, and will always lead us back to the Divine Source.  However, sometimes we take detours along this path to try to discover more about who we are.  So sometimes ‘all roads lead us to roam’ in some cases.  Some of us need a little reminder or nudge to get us back into alignment with our mission in life.

What is our mission in life you may ask?

To discover our divinity and this is done through lessons.  However, we sometimes fall so deeply into fear and depression that we can’t see that the light switch is dangling just above our own heads.

Polarity

Everything has its yin and yang (it’s positive and negative attributes). So does the Divine Source. We are here to experience both sides of polarity, to eventually work our way back into the light, which is all-encompassing.

“We can plough it with antidepressants or we can just leave it and let it fester, but neither way is addressing the root of the problem. When you face the fear, you can walk through it.”

White light holds every colour in the spectrum; what a great metaphor for us. When we can work out the extreme opposites and find a balance between the two poles of existence – the yin and yang – we move back into an integrity that has been long-lost and forgotten through the widespread broadcasting of fear.

When we hold our emotions in fear we tend to feel it in our solar plexus, that feeling of ‘butterflies’ or ‘a great pit’ in the stomach. This is our emotional reaction to let our body know something is amiss. We can plough it with antidepressants or we can just leave it and let it fester, but neither way is addressing the root of the problem. When you face the fear, you can walk through it.

Here are 3 simple steps to take which will enable you to realign with your purpose:

  • HermioneGet Vocal — Adopt a ‘Listening Buddy’ — Sometimes a problem doesn’t even need your ‘listening buddy’ to come up with a solution; why is this? Because, we intrinsically, just want to be heard and acknowledged. This can bring us into balance. When we voice out loud our ‘mind chatter’, we can often make sense of it for ourselves just by hearing the power of the emotions taking the form of words. The words are a manifestation of the emotion, and therefore can sometimes be released when spoken. That is why some people calm down considerably after being allowed to ‘say their piece’.
  • Get Creative — Is there a hidden passion in your life, something that you love to do but have been suppressing or putting off?  No more excuses, get back on that bike and ride!  When you engage with the right hemisphere of your brain (where your creativity lives) you will feel elated.  It realigns you to your feminine, nurturing, explorative, passionate side and can ignite the flame for your ultimate purpose (if you don’t already know what that is).  Explore different avenues of creativity until you find the one that just simply ‘clicks’ into place with you.  You will find it, you just need to exercise patience and endurance.  Engage your inner child with this and see every new venture as an ad-venture.  No time is ever wasted when you are having fun.
  • Get Quiet — Find time to meditate or do some breathing exercises, yoga or Tai Chi. Find something that enables you to quiet your mind and have some free space without thought.  This will get you in touch with your higher self and will realign you to your greater purpose.

For more blogs about meditation, breathing exercises, creativity, please see the linked list below:

Do You Need To Meditate?

Making a Commitment to Creativity…Do You Lack Self-Worth?

What is Your Quality of Breath?

Are you stressed out?

 

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Taking Things Personally Could Be Ruining Your Life

Caught in Blue by Cherie Roe Dirksen

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Be Honest With Yourself

Are you easily offended? When you take something personally or are affronted, you are — in a claustrophobic little nutshell — agreeing with what has been said about you.

Does this ring true or are you shaking your head profusely?

When you feel offended you are agreeing with the offender because it has touched a nerve. Let’s try unravel more of this…

Nerves Weren’t Always Twisted, You Know

If someone tried to hurt you, or perhaps even inadvertently, says something to you that you don’t agree with – no problem – you usually shrug off this kind of ‘offense’ because it really doesn’t bother you.

For example: You are happy with your appearance and feel you are a fine specimen, someone passes by in a vehicle and shouts out ‘hey, freak!’

Here is your moment; do you agree with that or not? If you are 100% confident that you are a perfectly chic human being then you would most likely shrug the comment off and have a good laugh.

Why? Simply because you don’t agree with the statement.

“Who get’s to be the judge and jury on what is deemed beautiful accepted or hideous? The tabloids? Hollywood?”

Now, if you think you are ‘okay’ looking but there could be room for improvement, or, in the extreme, if you are someone with downright low self-esteem, this statement would be devastating because a part of you, or perhaps – most of you, agrees with this. You are shocked that someone else has found you out!

You thought if you could keep your head down no-one would notice you but here someone has clearly seen your faults. This feels like a low blow and you become all knotted up in your stomach (solar plexus area).

The Illusion of Appearance

The ultimate fear of imperfection and/or of not being accepted is, of course, an illusion.

Who get’s to be the judge and jury on what is deemed beautiful accepted or hideous? The tabloids? Hollywood? Just spare a thought as to who you give your power over to, that which dictates what beauty and normal is, and try to see that it is all fake.

True beauty and acceptance is in the eye of the beholder. So anyone claiming to know what beauty or normal definitely is needs very close examining if they are not including every member of the human race in their synopsis.

To agree with anyone over anything stemming from feelings of lack would be disempowering.

“The person doing the insulting is only reminding you of something that needs to be taken on within yourself to have a good, long and hard look at – and to either change or accept.”

The same could be said over someone slighting your intelligence. If you don’t feel stupid then any snide remark over your competence could be easily overlooked but if you are worried about what others think, a dig at your IQ could mean the world to you.

Are You to Blame?

This is not truly the fault of the insulter (although they will have to deal with their contribution via their karma) – it is actually your fault.

Yeah, it sounds harsh and it is. But if we are going to get real about this we need to dive right into the core of the problem and bring it up for close scrutiny.

The person doing the insulting is only reminding you of something that needs to be taken on within yourself to have a good, long and hard look at – and to ultimately change or accept.

Although you probably won’t want to give them a gold medal for their efforts at the time, I assure you that some people are in this life to push your buttons — in a seemingly unloving way — to actually give you the opportunity to reconsider your belief structures.

This may be on a level that even they are not aware of.

If there are no buttons to push, then you can walk away head held high knowing that it is something you have overcome or never had a doubt about in the first place.

It is the slights that leave us feeling wounded that mean that we have a program still running within us that wants to be ended, a cache that needs clearing.

What Insults You?

You have to be cruel in examining these beliefs in order to be kind to yourself.

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We all face difficult, dark moments of self-realization, when we see the agreements we have made about ourselves and have to try to turn it around. When you can out these undesirable contracts you can begin to repair them.

We have to discover why we felt the lack and how we are feeling now about the same issue. Then we must align it to our higher self by breaking down the agreement piece by piece and offer it up to the light to be cleansed.

What do I mean by this?

This simply means to shed light on a problem. When it has come to our full attention we can dissemble it and make a new beneficial agreement about ourselves.

We need to look at ourselves and find the beauty inherent in us, not always trying to fish out our perceived faults. When you treat yourself with loving kindness and nurture your self-esteem with positive thoughts, you will begin to shift into alignment with your higher self.

“However, we must consider that some things are said in the heat of the moment and not really meant by the offender, so we really need to see why we made the agreement.”

Some of these agreements we made at a very young age. When we are young we have no inhibitions and sang at the top of our voices, danced our hearts out (whether someone was looking or not) and thought we were princesses and superheroes.

Then one day someone came along and made you feel less than what you felt about yourself. You may have paused to take it in – then you made a crucial decision.

Making the Agreement

Either you agreed with what they said or you didn’t. That is why some of us can still dance freely and not be bothered whilst others cringe at the thought of dancing in public – this could be due to an earlier experience of being made to feel like you were ‘no good’ by someone who was only giving you one piece of the puzzle.

What Puzzle?

When I said that the person was only giving one piece of the puzzle I mean that they have a preference based on their version of reality.

That is one person’s perspective in a sea of other possible candidates – ones who may have loved your form of expression.

This person could have also been a child, an acquaintance, a stranger or it could have been someone you trusted and loved deeply. The latter is often the case and can make the hurt twice as strong.

However, we must consider that some things are said in the heat of the moment and not really meant by the offender, so we really need to see why we made the agreement.

“We sometimes tend to disregard the ones who encourage us, leaving only space in our thoughts for the ones who hurt us.”

You also need to know that you can never have universal appeal with absolutely everyone.

You or your talents may not be one person’s cup of tea but what about all the other people in the world who will resonate with your particular brand of uniqueness.

Neither being important though because it is ultimately you who needs to please you. When you do this then you are immediately accepted and no outside influence can make you feel anything other than what you know yourself to be.

“Without diversity in hair colour, body shapes, talents, voices, tastes, etc we would be tantamount to sheep running around in a field day in and day out – bah-bah-boring!”

We sometimes tend to disregard the ones who encourage us, leaving only space in our thoughts for the ones who hurt us.

Why is this, I wonder?

Everyone has the urge to be liked and accepted for who they are. This is normal. But what we need to redefine is what is normal?

Every soul is special and has equally unique attributes, abilities and ways of expressing themselves creatively. There should be no judgment.

What do We do About That Sheeple Judge?

When there is judgment on this, we must question the one doing the judging.

Without freedom of expression this world would be a very dull place. Without diversity in hair colour, body shapes, talents, voices, tastes, etc we would be tantamount to sheep running around in a field day in and day out – bah-bah-boring!

Love your difference, embrace yourself.

Begin to discover, on the deepest level, who you truly are and what you have done – not only in this lifetime but in the countless life experiences you have had. Draw on the wealth of talents you have that you haven’t even begun to extract from your being.

Know Thyself!

As the oracle in the movie The Matrix had written above her kitchen door: ‘Know thyself’ (a long-established ancient Greek aphorism).

When you do, there is nothing anyone can say or do to you that would ever hurt you because you will be resolute as to who you are and nobody can take that away from you, unless you allow them to.

 “Empowerment comes from fearing no-thing and facing every day with courage and love in your heart.”

Don't Take Things Personally - Find Out How...

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When you are living with the statement ‘be the best you can be’ and you are doing this with all your integrity and might then you have nothing to fear.

Empowerment comes from fearing no-thing and facing every day with courage and love in your heart. Strive to be the best and do the best you can in every situation and you will be living in your integrity and you will know yourself.

Then words or energy that does not fit with your frequency or vibration will not even penetrate your field of self. You have become the master of your life and your reality.

Something worth looking into, wouldn’t you say?

Do you have something that you just can’t not take personally?  What is it and can you perhaps trace when you made the agreement?

Other articles you may enjoy:

7 Things I Wish I Knew when I Was a Teenager

12 Things Successful People Do To Excel

6 Tips on How to Get to Where You Want to Be