How to Stop the ‘Monkey Mind’ Phenomenon

 

cosmic dementia by cherie roe dirksen

You’ve heard of the monkey mind, right?

It’s the Buddhist term meaning a restless; unsettled; confused; inconstant; indecisive and somewhat uncontrollable state of mind. It’s when the ego thinks it’s in control and uses the mind (thoughts) as its conduit — a state most of us have found ourselves in from time to time (or, for some, all the time).

Monkey Business

Unfortunately, these ‘thoughts’ think they run the show (from the mind, which is running ape-shit — excuse the phrase but I had to). This impish-rogue, primate mind can only take you so far and no further. That’s why you can reach a stalemate in your life if you’re blocked from your higher states as the egoic mind is only a shadow of the higher mind — a pale and distorted reflection of sorts.

My penny just dropped about how I’ve been trying to manifest according to my unconscious (associated with beliefs), subconscious (associated with emotions) limiting beliefs.

Let me explain:

  1. I am more convinced than ever that reality is an illusion — a playground for our divine, little souls to run amok. Read related article: The Holographic Universe and The Illusion of Separation
  2. The only thing that is ‘real’ per se is our existence or oversoul/individual soul/higher self. Think of the SIMS game — you, the oversoul, are playing in virtual reality creating families, communities and playing with the concept of individuation, freedom of choice and ‘life’.
  3. Now this ‘higher mind’ is the one with the overview (not the monkey mind or egoic mind — it can’t see further than your nose). Think of the higher self as the one cosmic dementia quotestanding on top of a skyscraper looking out on the city below — it can see all the streets and happenings taking place. Think of you, the part of the self in physical matter, as being on the ground — you’re level of perception is looking down an avenue and only seeing what is directly before you. You are not getting the birds eye view of the higher self up there gazing upon all possibilities below. Say for example (and this is going to be a very primitive example but you’ll get the idea): you want a coffee. The monkey mind can smell coffee brewing but takes you on a wild goose chase all over the city thinking it can pin point the location. If you had asked the higher self, it could have told you to take a right and a left and…Starbucks. Headquarters (what I like to call the higher mind) can see the quickest route while monkey mind is still swinging from branch to branch.
  4. Let go of the monkey mind version of how you want your life to transpire and let in the guidance of the higher mind. The egoic mind can only create from past events. It has no idea of future infinite possibilities because it hasn’t been played out across the minds screen yet. That is why when you ask for something you shouldn’t try to conceive of how you’re going to get it — your job is only the asking or the ‘vision’ of what you want not how you’re going to manifest it. Only the higher mind can see the possibilities laid out before you. Have you ever manifested something by letting go of the control aspect? Did you find that you could never have dreamed it possible to show up in the way it did and were fascinated at all the signs and synchronicities (read related article: Why Synchronicity Can Change Your Life) that led you to said manifestation? That’s because your higher self has the overview and not the ego mind.
  5. When you let go and tap into your intuition, cultivating a bond between physical mind and higher mind, you will allow infinite possibilities and realities to flow through you without the resistance and persistence of the monkey mind getting in the way. The ego thinks it knows everything but it doesn’t, it is only necessary to keep you in physicality (as far as I can tell). This means that we need the ego to keep us on earth or we’d probably want to go back ‘home’ — you get my drift, right?
  6. So, let the higher mind pick out the destination (it knows what you came here to do, so let it do its job), you need to be open to receive the package via the physical mind and then interpret it through the physical experience. It’s really quite simple — law of least effort type stuff, savvy?

I recently applied this monkey mind vs. higheSUBSCRIBE icon 1r mind stuff to one of my life situations and had to laugh. I was trying to conceive the situation as ‘thus’ (via my chimp noodle) when the situation was ‘this’ (something completely different and couldn’t have possibly conceived through the ego mind until I let HQ speak up). Suffice it to say, I was WAY off course but things slipped into understanding when I got out of my own way.

So, how do you get out of the ego mind and step into the higher mind?

Easy! Have fun…lot’s of it!

The easiest way to a higher vibration (because that is where all the good shit is happening, my friend) is through joy, excitement, love and all the other delicious higher vibrational feelings. I wrote an article recently about tapping into that sweet spot, you can read it here: Find Out How to Tune Into Your Personal Higher Vibration

When you’re in a higher vibe, your soul can easily communicate ideas and thought packages to you.

Enough said, go out and do!

cosmic dementia - 25.5cm x 92cm x 4cmThe art used in this article is called ‘Cosmic Dementia’ and was part of my solo exhibition called ’42’ (you can download the FREE book of art and poems HERE). 

Click on the picture of the painting to your right to take you to my print store. The original painting is sold.

Cosmic Dementia’ by Cherie Roe Dirksen

Acrylic and Mixed Media on Boxed Canvas

36″ x 10″ x 1.5″

$690 (SOLD)

Other articles you may enjoy:

How to Redesign Yourself From the Cellular Level and Beyond!

How You Can Beat the Matrix

7 Things Every Teenager Should Know About Life


You can now hear Cherie Roe Dirksen on Big Indie Giant radio as she reads out select articles on air.

She also gives weekly news headline updates taken directly from the Conscious Life News site, so be sure to tune in.

Cherie Roe Dirksen is a self-empowerment author/columnist/radio presenter, multi-media artist and musician from South Africa.

To date, she has published 3 self-help and motivational books and brings out weekly inspirational blogs at her site www.cherieroedirksen.com. Get stuck into finding your passion, purpose and joy by downloading some of those books gratis when you click HERE.

Her ambition is to help you to connect with your innate gift of creativity and living the life you came here to experience by taking responsibility for your actions and becoming the co-creator of your reality. You can follow Cherie on Facebook(The Art of Empowerment — for article updates). She has an official art Facebook page (Cherie Roe Dirksen – for new art updates). You can also check out her Facebook band page at Templeton Universe.

Self-Empowerment Books by Cherie Roe Dirksen:

              

 

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Warning: 4 Reasons Why You Should Avoid Venus Fly-Traps

Girl with Flower Banner

“If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does.” — The Duchess (Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland)

Hmmm, yes.  What is it about human nature that keeps our noses continuously stuck in other people’s affairs?

In my short and humble opinion, there are 4 possible reasons that instantly spring to mind (and they all involve a Venus Fly-Trap).

  1. The Smoky Mirror (a definite trap!)
  2. Avoidance (another trap that doesn’t involve Venus but a sticky void and a particularly intriguing dance.)
  3. Self-Importance/Ego (just like an irritating fly that won’t go away — where’s a trap when you need one?)
  4. Drama Addiction (the fully grown Venus Fly-Trap, or, perhaps more of a ‘shut your trap!’)

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall — Who’s the Smokiest of Us All?

Let’s take no.1 — that smoky mirror analogy.  People that volunteer themselves to get entwined in the business of their fellow man, usually have some characteristic of what they are judging about others lurking about in their own foggy behavior.

Sometimes we hide these attributes so well, that we can’t seem to see those attributes in ourselves.  This takes a lot of introspection to weed out.

Next time you find yourself judging someone else’s behavior, try to see if there is any essence of ‘you’ in the opinion.

The ‘smoky mirror’ (smoky = hard to see through, mirror = others reflected in us) is not going to be the case every time you identify or see a particular unnerving trait in another but the projection of our own inadequacies sure does tend to happen a lot, so be aware and look out for it — best to nip this mannerism in the bud before the bud turns into a fairly peckish Venus Fly-Trap and makes a meal out of you.

Dancing in the Void (A-Void-Dance)

No. 2 is similar to no. 1.  Avoidance is just not being able to take responsibility for your own short-comings, so you deflect the attention to make yourself look and feel better.  In other words, you know you’re a gossip but you make sure you let the world know what an even bigger tittle-tattle Peggy-Sue is.

Now you’ve safely fudged over your own issues.  However, before success settles in just remember that you’ve  got to face your shadow head-on or that Venus Fly-Trap is gonna get ya!

Shoo Fly —  Don’t Bother Me!!!

“…nothing kills the ego more than hilarity and humility…”

Good ‘ol no. 3 is that juicy little shit-stirrer — the ego.  The ego thrives off drama and misery and putting itself ahead of the pack.  Sticking your nose into someone else’s business is ego-fodder.

You can make yourself better than, slimmer/tottier (I’m sure I just made that word up!) than, prettier/handsomer than, cleverer than, more successful than so-and-so just because it gives your ego those 15 minutes of superiority— even if you don’t say it out loud.

The silent ego is just as dangerous as the overly loquacious  e-goo (terribly gooey and all that jazz).

Just like the sticky residue in the Venus Fly-Trap — your icky e-goo can get you into some sticky situations if you are not aware it’s rearing that self-important head (down boy!).

When the ego has you by the short and curlies, you tend to compare yourself and you’re usually the one that comes out on top.  However, don’t be fooled!  The ego is cunning and manipulative and can make you feel less than too.  Both are a trap and both are easily avoided with the light of your illuminating awareness.

Have a good laugh at your ego if you find yourself in its throes — nothing kills the ego more than hilarity and humility.  Show the ego who’s boss — they key is to control the ego and not to let it control you.

The Amateur Dramatics Society — Putting on a Show Near You!

“Remember that taking offence is a choice.”

No. 4 is like the smorgasbord of the lot — you can find a little bit of each trait in no. 4 — the drama addict!

Have you noticed how some people cannot live without drama?

There you are trying to get off the wheel of karma and leave your drama at the door while others are trying to hook you back into the cycle.

There are some people who will purposefully go out and purchase a ravenous Venus Fly-Trap, stick their finger in the jaws of the plant and howl when it clamps down and draws blood.  If you are one of these eager consumers, I wish you luck on your journey and can’t quite understand the pay off.

However, if you are someone who wants to keep a potting shed full of petunias rather than a carnivorous plant, take my advice and set your boundaries.

If someone is trying to lure you into drama, don’t try to run away from them (fence-sitting is just not an option anymore — you know it will always come back at you until you face it), don’t confront them with the ego (as in start an argument — you will then have stepped right into the trap and fed the drama) — simply speak your truth or stand firm in your conviction (whatever that may be) and walk away if appropriate.

Empowerment is always about standing your ground and not letting people overstep your boundaries and doing that in a way that does not provoke aggression or submissiveness.

You’ve got to aim straight down the center and tell it like it is — speak your truth and straight from the heart.  If you offend someone, that is their choice and they will have to deal with it.  Remember that taking offence is a choice.

The Long and Short of Your Schnozzle

As you probably figured out by now, this article has got very little to do with Venus Fly-Traps — disappointing, I’m sure.  So, what’s the moral of this tale?  Live and let live.

You can powder your nose, you can blow your nose, heck, you can even pick your nose if that’s your thing — but whatever you do, keep your nose out of other people’s business.  If they want your hooter present they’ll ask for it.

Original article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Lightworkers World

Girl with a flower lr

The painting used for this blog is called ‘Girl with the Flowers’ and is available as prints (click on picture above)

Other blogs by Cherie Roe Dirksen you may enjoy:

Why We May Be Feeling Disenchanted

How to Paint Rhino’s and Evoke Protective Spells

It’s About Time This Blog Was Written!

How to Use the Void to Manifest

5 Ways to Tune into a HD Quality Life

10 Reasons Why I Don’t Care Anymore and Neither Should You

Green Boutique Zazzle Logo2014 — The Year to Sculpt Your Life!

Why You Should Strive to be a Nobody

3 Crucial Steps to Self Acceptance

Feel Like a Rug Has Been Pulled Out From Underneath?

Self-Empowerment Books by Cherie Roe Dirksen:

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Table Books of Art and Inspirational Teachings by Cherie Roe Dirksen:

Creative Expression        Art Portfolio

The Naked Truth about You and Your Body Image

Banner Body Image

Let’s Get Physical

“You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.” 
― Amy Bloom

As I was walking along the beach one morning, taking in the warm comforting sunshine of another lustrous day in Cape Town, I had my eyes severely pried open.

I had already walked the length of the beach and back and as I was approaching the designated ‘swimming’ section of the beach (shark nets just fitted and all!), I heard the glorious tones of laughter, splashing, shrieking and general guffawing.

Carpe Diem!

fh beach 1When I looked over at the watery shallows I saw the melodious sounds were coming from a group of well-endowed, young African ladies.  Some of them had shorts and t-shirts on, some were fully clad in dresses — it didn’t matter — the only thing that seemed to matter was having a copious amount of fun.

They were seizing the day and living in the moment — squeezing the joy out of the sparkling waves as they crashed down on them.

They didn’t care that their clothes were completely see-through or that they weren’t sporting the latest Speedo bikini.

Upside Down Pear-Shapes and Wake Up Calls

I was swiftly jolted back into my own headspace.  I had walked most of this beautiful beach preoccupied by how I was going to look when, at the end of my walk, I took my swim.

Let me explain:

I bought this really expensive swimsuit but it was too big at the bottom end (making my bum look big) and very snug at the top end (causing a serious melon-spillage).  I’ve kind of got this reverse pear-shape thing going on where what fits the top is too big for the bottom and what fits the bottom is too small for the top.  Aaargh!

This was making me feel very self-conscious.

So, I’d been fussing about this in my thoughts until the point when the playful posse had interrupted my rather irksome inner dialogue.

Western Culture Sucks

vHere were these beautiful bountiful lasses all flaunting their fabulousness and there I was fretting about a stupid little thing like a baggy-bottomed bather (which probably wasn’t that bad to begin with — the mind can create havoc, you know!).

Besides the fact that I am a typical Virgo, always fussing with the smallest of things and wanting everything in its right place — the ‘western’ culture is just so damned critical.

We always have some magazine, TV show or fashion trend telling us what perfect looks like and how we should be.

What a bunch of bullshit.  I mean really?

Cottage Cheese and Crackers

Actually, I know a few people who — either due to the delusion that their thighs resemble cottage cheese or they wouldn’t be seen dead in a bather (really?  Not even if you were dead?) — wouldn’t even attempt a swim because of the fear of being seen!

It’s completely crackers!

I wish these people would regress themselves to their childhood and ask their tiny counterparts what they would think of themselves if they knew that, in time to come, they wouldn’t enjoy a swim because of how they perceived themselves?

The sad thing is that I have even heard 4  year old girls now walking around asking if their ‘bum looks big in this?‘.

Being Unique is the Best Trend Ever!

After this episode of learning, I whipped off my clothes and sauntered into the ocean — releasing the inner child and just having a thoroughly, bloody good time.

It felt so freeing.

I can’t say that I didn’t adjust my costume a few times — old habits die hard — but I did feel a sense of relief and balls to what people think.

The Naked Truth

I hope you come away from this blog with a sense of how ridiculous it is to:

  1. Not have fun or be spontaneous because of what other people think —  When you do this, you are letting other people dictate your experience.  Now how foolish does that sound now that you’re reading it in black and white?
  2. Worry about how you might appear to others, period —  If you’re OK with who you are, it doesn’t matter what other people think.  You’ve got to get over it.  You’re never going to have universal appeal anyway.  The people whose opinions count, will be the ones who love your uniqueness.

If you’re having the time of your life, go on and enjoy it!  Don’t give a hoot about the skew looks you might procure if you truly let go — the ones who may pass judgment are the ones who cannot release their inner child or inner joy.

Who knows, your bravado might entice their daring to come out and play.

Love the Skin You’re In

“I’ve gone through stages where I hate my body so much that I won’t even wear shorts and a bra in my house because if I pass a mirror, that’s the end of my day.” 
― Fiona Apple

macroHow many of us can relate to Fiona Apple?

Call to action time.  I want you, next time you face yourself in the mirror, to truly look into your own eyes.  Tell yourself that you are a beautiful and unique creature — a human expression of the soul you truly are.

Let your eyes run over every nuance of your being, even the parts you may not like.  When you do this, praise yourself for the bits and bobs you love about yourself — put your full attention on those parts and really give yourself genuine admiration.  Be kind and complementative — just as if you were uplifting a friend who was having body image problems.

This is not an act of narcissism — this is a way to get you to accept and love the skin you’re in.

Most of all, be grateful for the body you have.  It doesn’t take a genius to work out that even if you do have lumps and bumps in certain places, you probably still have a lot to be thankful for.

“Let me ask you something, in all the years that you have…undressed in front of a gentleman has he ever asked you to leave?

Has he ever walked out and left? No? It’s because he doesn’t care!

He’s in a room with a naked girl, he just won the lottery. I am so tired of saying no, waking up in the morning and recalling every single thing I ate the day before, counting every calorie I consumed so I know just how much self loathing to take into the shower. I’m going for it.

I have no interest in being obese, I’m just through with the guilt. So this is what I’m going to do, I’m going to finish this pizza, and then we are going to go watch the soccer game, and tomorrow we are going to go on a little date and buy ourselves some bigger jeans.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert

Do you have a tip to share?  How do you embrace your body, ‘faults’ and all?  I’d love to hear from you.

Other articles you may enjoy:

7 Things I Wish I Knew when I Was a Teenager

5 Simple Food Habits That Will Rapidly Improve Your Well-Being

9 Truths About Letting Go of Opinions that Taint Us

Don’t Let the World Get You Down!

2 Simple Quotes You Can’t Afford To Miss Out On

Be Who You Were Born To Be

I’ve compiled 2 quotations for you today (which can be downloaded as printable mini-posters for around your office, home or studio and double as desktop wallpaper too).

I want them to serve as reminders of your sheer potential when you can remember to stay grounded and true to yourself.  Here they are:

Integrity QuoteIn other words, work from a place of source — what have you got to bring to or offer the world?  Play on your strengths, differing perspectives and unique interpretations of life. You can be inspired by others but make sure you are an original and not a copy.

Wisdom vs Pride QuoteSometimes we feel the urge to defend ourselves in spite of what could be right.  We can shoot ourselves in the foot by digging our heels in where situations may not serve us just to prove that our way is the way.  We need to put pride on the back-burner in order to listen to what is innate — that voice of wisdom that can steer us onto the path that is correct for us.

Be still and see if you can hear the voice of wisdom that longs to be heard.

To download these quotes just click on the picture, right-click and ‘save as’ to your computer.

You may also like:

The Magic Ingredient of Life

 Can Using Yellow in Art Enhance Your Mood?

Dripping Art, Dragonflies and Mood Enhancing Facebook Timelines

What Does The World Really Need?

Spreading Your Goodwill

The Secret to Excellent Living

2 Musical Quotations To Take Note Of

 

Take The Test — Are You a Slave to Social Networking?

Freedom Header

This is not going to be an article bashing social networking or shouting from the rooftops that it’s from the devil.  No, I find it an extremely helpful, if not detrimental, modern-day tool.  I utilize it socially — to stay in touch with friends and family — and I use it for my business.

Social networking is a great device for spreading information and touching base.  However, it can also be abused.

All too often I see people with their noses stuck to their iPods, even when they are publicly with someone else.  Does anyone else find this extremely rude?

What is it that keeps the populace stuck to other people’s dramas or, in some case, tedious actions?  Are we craving attention?  Is it the need to feel connected? Is it that ugly ego rearing its head and wanting to be seen or to compare?

I feel these actions can inadvertantly drain our inspiration and drive.  However, if used properly, they can be great tools of motivation and new ideas.

Let’s Get Real

I think we will all have different reasons for using social networking but if you are finding it hard to keep those nimble thumbs off your key-pad, then let’s dive into a bit of introspection — answer these questions honestly:

  • Control – do you have command over how much time you spend on social networks such as facebook or twitter, or does it have an irrepressible hold on you?
  • Breaks — can you go without it for a long period of time and not be bothered?  Have you ever tested yourself on this?
  • Loss — do you feel disconnected if you don’t ‘plug in’?  Are you just itching to be updated again?  Are you feeling like you are missing out on something?
  • Time – how many moments do you waste scouring news feeds only to find that 2 hours have passed and you have not really found anything of true value?
  • Question — how are you using it?  Is it benefitting you in some way?  Or is it serving as a distraction?  Or both?
  • Limits — can you set yourself boundaries and time limits?
  • Trimming —Hone down who and what you give your energy to.  Are you wasting a lot of time on engaging in a drama that really doesn’t involve you?  Are you helping or fueling the situation? Or are you just filling empty space?
  • Clarity — are you using facebook for friends and people you actually know?  Or do you befriend any Tom, Dick and Harry that requests your precious time?  Get clear about which social networks are for what.  In other words, use facebook or twitter to stay in touch with interesting people, friends and family and sites like LinkedIn and facebook business pages for your associates, promotions and dealings.  Be clear about the reason you are using these sites and don’t just give your time away willy-nilly.
  • Allocations — assign specific times to go on for personal and business use and be liable for those periods — keep to that schedule.

Rudeness Concealed as ‘The Norm’

At all costs avoid whipping out your iPad in real conversation with bona fide friends and colleagues – nobody appreciates this and you may end up losing a tangible friend or business deal for one moment of digital gratification.

The friends who are willing to meet up with you in the flesh are the ones that will be there for you when you need them.  Give them your undivided attention and respect.

If someone has taken time out to be with you, they should take precedence over any electronic device that is beeping for your attention — learn to turn it off if it’s a distraction.

Take the Test

If you find that social networking is controlling you and you can’t let go, try this out:

  • Alert your connections that you will be taking one weeks (or however long you feel you need) ‘vacation’ from the net.
  • Hold yourself accountable for it, no matter what juicy adventures you want to share – be present with that urge to splurge and be at peace with telling no-one.
  • Observe how remaining silent makes you feel – do you feel a certain tranquility or are you chomping at the bit?  Really question yourself — do you truly need to share that photo of your dinner last night?  Do your friends need to know how long you were at the gym this morning?  Possibly not.
  • If you are experiencing more calm and ease without social networking, then this exercise has worked.  You will be more aware of how to limit your time dedicated to it in the future.  Work out a viable timetable and stick to it.
  • If you are edgy and feel anxious, then this exercise has also worked and you need to go into why you are feeling this way.  Social networking has a hold over you and there is something there that needs addressing.  Dig deep and follow the thread of answers to this question:  Why do I feel the need to be distracted?  You will be taken to the core of your inability to ‘let go’ of being in the loop about every little detail, or keeping people in the loop about every endeavor you undertake.

You Are the Center of Your Own World

When you take a break from your social networking sites, I can bet that you most likely will not be missed — however, this will not be from the lack of love your friends and associates have for you.

The reason is, in all actuality, you are not going to be the center of their worlds and they will most likely have many other diversions to keep them busy.  Don’t take offense at this — it is helpfully indicative that everyone has a ‘life’.  You are at the center of your revolving world and they are conducting their version of reality too — learn to honor this and be grateful when your worlds collide for the greater good.

This can give you a clearer perspective of how you identify what is important and hone down what you feel you need to distribute that will benefit others.  It will aid you to ascertain what needs to be shared and what can remain private.

Call to Action

I want you to work out approximately how much time a week you spend on social networking and then compare it to your new timetable.  Let us know how much time you have saved and what you now do to use that time more creatively.

Use social networking responsibly and you will have the best of both worlds.

Use social networking to see the beauty in life, to get inspired and to spread good vibes — don’t let it use you to become a slave to that lower vibrational world of gossip, drama and bullshit.

Original article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Conscious Life News

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Other articles you may enjoy:

8 Life Strategies That Playing Chess Has Taught Me

How to Get Your Creative Space Working For You

9 Truths About Letting Go of Opinions that Taint Us

An Artful Splash of Colour For Your Facebook Timeline

 

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9 Truths to Stop You From Caring What People Think

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We’ve all feared, at some point in our lives, what other people think of us but here are 9 reasons to let go of the opinions of others for our own good:

1. Smoke and Mirrors

The fear of imperfection and/or of not being accepted is, of course, an illusion. Who gets to be the judge and jury on what is deemed beautiful or hideous — successful or stupid? Let me guess:  The tabloids or magazines, possibly Hollywood or the catwalks of Milan? How about TV/movies and the media? Spare a thought about who you give your power over to.  The various outlets that dictate what beauty and normal are seem to be pushing fake, in my opinion.  There are moments where true beauty can shine through these channels, but those flashes are few and far between.  True beauty and acceptance is in the eye of the beholder.  So anyone claiming to know what beauty or normal definitely is needs very close examining if they are not including every member of the human race in their rundown.

2. Self-Realization and Repair Kits

When you can out these undesirable contracts you can begin to repair them.  We have to discover why we felt the lack and how we are feeling now about the same issue. Then we must align it to our higher self by breaking down the agreement piece by piece and offer it up to the light to be cleansed.

3. Inherent Beauty and Perfection

We need to look at ourselves and find the beauty inherent in us, not always trying to fish out our perceived faults. When you treat yourself with loving kindness and nurture your self-esteem with positive thoughts, you will begin to shift into alignment with your higher self.

4. Dissecting Agreements

When we were young we had no inhibitions and sang at the top of our voices, danced our hearts out (whether someone was looking or not) and thought we were princesses and superheroes. Then one day someone came along and made you feel less than what you felt about yourself. You may have paused to take it in – then you made a crucial decision. Either you agreed with what they said or you didn’t. That is why some of us can still dance freely and not be bothered whilst others cringe at the thought of dancing in public – this could be due to an earlier experience of being made to feel like you were ‘no good’ by someone who was only giving you one piece of the puzzle.

Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. ~Lao Tzu

5. Piecing Together Your Puzzle

When I said that the person was only giving one piece of the puzzle I mean that they have a preference based on their version of reality. That is one person’s perspective in a sea of other possible candidates – ones who may have loved your form of expression.  This person could have also been a child, an acquaintance, a stranger or it could have been someone you trusted and loved deeply. The latter is often the case and can make the hurt twice as potent.  However, we must consider that some things are said in the heat of the moment and not really meant by the offender, so we really need to see why we made the agreement.

6. That Tricky Enigma Called Universal Appeal

You need to know that you can never have universal appeal.  You or your talents may not be one person’s cup of tea but what about all the other people in the world who will resonate with your particular brand of uniqueness?  However, ultimately you need to please only you. When you do this then you are immediately accepted and no outside influence can make you feel anything other than what you know yourself to be.

7. Acknowledge the Good

We sometimes tend to disregard the ones who encourage us, leaving only space in our thoughts for the ones who hurt us. Why is this, I wonder?  Everyone has the urge to be liked and accepted for who they are. This is normal. But what we need to redefine is what is normal? Every soul is special and has equally unique attributes, abilities and ways of expressing themselves creatively. There should be no judgment.

8. Identify the Judge

When judgment rears its head, we must question the one doing the judging.   Tell that judge that you are in love with your differences.  Viva la difference!  Without freedom of expression this world would be a very dull place.  Without diversity in hair colour, body shapes, talents, voices, tastes, etcetera we would be tantamount to sheep running around in a field day in and day out – baa-baa-boring!

9. Know Thyself!

Only then will you begin to discover, on the deepest level, that which you truly are and what you have accomplished – not only in this lifetime but in the countless life experiences you have had.  Draw on that wealth of talents you have stored, that which you haven’t even begun to extract from your being.  When you do, there is nothing anyone can say or do to you that would ever hurt you.  You will be resolute as to who you are and nobody can take that away from you — unless you allow them to.

When you are living with the statement ‘be the best you can be’ and you are doing this with all your integrity and might — you have nothing to fear.

Empowerment comes from fearing no-thing and facing every day with courage and love in your heart. Strive to be and do the best you can in every situation, then you will be living in your integrity.  Words or energy that does not fit with your frequency or vibration will not be allowed to penetrate your field of self.  You will have become the master of your life and your reality.

Something worth looking into, wouldn’t you say?

Original article was written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for PURPOSE FAIRY

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7 Ways to Tame the Ego and Become Instantly Likeable

 “If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the 
internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need 
to be approved, and the need to judge.” ~ Deepak Chopra

Painting by Cherie Roe Dirksen bw

Framed prints of this artwork available – click here

What is the Ego?

I remember having a conversation with someone once, we were talking about Eckhart Tolle and the ego identification.  The lady I was talking to piped up and said, ‘well, I don’t have an ego’.

“Do you get that an ego is the identification you have with your self and who you are, what you do and how others perceive you?”

Let me make this perfectly clear:  Everybody has an ego!  Here is the dictionary definition of this fruity little word:

e·go – 

  1. the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.
  2. the part of you that reacts to the outside world and thus mediates between the primitive drives of the id and the demands of the social and physical environment.
  3. egotism; conceit; self-importance.
  4. self-esteem or self-image; feelings.
  5. the enduring and conscious element that knows experience.

Aligning with Your Awareness of Ego

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Are you a prancing show-pony or a shrinking violet?  Either one has an imbalanced sense of self.

Now that we have cleared up the myth of the ego being only a no. 3 definition of the strutting peacock itching to get recognition and praise, we can move on to ways of coping with your ego.

“Ego is the biggest enemy of humans” ~ Rig Veda

Do you get that an ego is the identification you have with your self and who you are, what you do and how others perceive you?

So even someone who is timid and an introvert has a problem with ego identification.  It is just in reverse but the principle remains.  When you feel yourself either inferior or superior to others — you have ego issues.

Disidentifying With the Ego

The ego is an inseparable part of you, it is not the enemy.  It is how you let your ego use you that can be detrimental to the quality of your life.

“Masters know when to speak, when to be silent and when their words will be like farting against thunder.”

I am, in no way, saying that the ego needs suppression or containment, just proper management and understanding — it’s as simple as that.  Your ego identification is an integral part of you, and like the universal concept that we are both yin and yang/light and dark, you need it.  You are a unique individual with irrevocable personality traits in your toolkit — this is the part of ego that can be embraced.  The key is to see this beautiful quality in every other soul.

Here is the pitfall of the ego — it wants to be separate from the whole, better than the rest and put itself somewhere untouchable.  This is the downfall of our current society, it is a separatist theory that pits people against each other and keeps them in an ‘us against them’ mental construct.

This is the dangerous element of the ego — the total takeover and manipulation of the authentic self.  Unfortunately, most of our worlds cultures are primarily caught up in the subconscious identification of the ego.

So how can you disconnect and tame your ego?

Let’s Spring Clean this Concept

There are 7 fundamental principles to keeping your ego in check.  Let’s explore them now:

  • Water Off a Ducks Back — do not take things
    personally.  When you do, you are subconsciously (or consciously) in agreement with whatever you have taken offense at.  This can leave you in constant need for validation from external sources which is the need of the ego.  Be at peace with what other people think of you, even if it is not congruent with how you see yourself.  You are never going to have universal appeal, there will always be someone out there who doesn’t like you — get over it now and save yourself any future distress.  Acceptance of what is is key.  For more about this in-depth trait, click here: Do You Take Things Personally?
  • Think Before You Speak — honour the power of your words and you will honour not only others but your sense of self.  Choose your words wisely.  You will be in control instead of having a hurtful motor-mouth.  People will pick up on this and return it in kind.  Practicing the integrity of your words will result in a better quality of life for yourself and those with whom you interact.
  • Hold Your Tongue — the ego loves to make itself right.  A common trap to fall into is trying to make someone else see that you are right. Really?  Is it that important for you to force someone to see life through your eyes and perceptions?
    No, that is your ego trying to justify itself.  Masters know when to speak, when to be silent and when their words will be like farting against thunder.  Control over your mouth is like having control over your sphincter muscle at a dinner party.  Exercise it and you will notice how easy it becomes to have total control of outbursts or having to explain yourself constantly. The best book I ever read about learning to be impeccable with your words is ‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz (a must have for your spiritual library).
  • Don’t Buy into the Labels — get in touch with who you really are and reconnect
    to your source or core being.  Look past the labels and identifications that society plasters you with.  You are not your profession, you are not the role you play in your family or community.  You are a special individual spark of the Divine that is nameless and authentic.  Get to grips with that through meditation (click here for an article about 5 Easy Steps to Meditating).
  • Quit Comparisons — learn to be comfortable in your own skin.  There is no-one in the world like you — from your individual fingerprints to all the exclusive experiences your soul has accumulated.  Comparing yourself to others is another trick of the ego — don’t fall for it.  Fall in love with yourself (read an article about this HERE).
  • Count Your Blessings — instead of complaining about all the things that are wrong with your physical appearance and situation, try to see all the positive
    aspects of your life and body.
  • See Divinity En-Masse — don’t try to elevate yourself above or bury yourself below others.  You are part of a collective consciousness of Divine souls here on Earth.  See the divinity in yourself and see it in others too.  The ego won’t be able to do this.  If you are finding resistance, you need to go into why you can’t accept that your fellow human beings are just as much a part of God as you are.  To see the internal beauty in another will put you on a level playing field instead of comparing yourself and others and passing dangerous judgments.

Why Will This Guarantee My Success?

How to Train Your Dragon of an Ego by Cherie Roe Dirksen

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When you tame the ego, you are paving the way for smooth and easy life flow.  You relinquish judgments, comparisons and the need to be or feel superior.  This is a frequency that you will project and I guarantee that people will be attracted to you.  People standing in their truth and integrity are like moths to a flame — be it in your personal or professional life.

Your ego won’t go away but you can have control over it instead of it running amuck with you.

When you do have control, you will never feel the need for superiority nor inferiority to any one else.  You simply are — a state of grace, least resistance and an inner knowing of peace.  Now isn’t that something worth going after?

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that when I’m not writing I’m painting? You can sample a taste of my portfolio below: 

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How Can Wishing For Your Rivals Success Make You Successful?

Is There Enough?  How to Wish for Abundance for Others Too…

This is the part that most people don’t get and it is such a wonderful thing to do.  It is a great test of your faith and just how much you want to see others happy and successful too.

“…would you only want one of your children to succeed in life?”

This principle works on the visualization of other people succeeding, especially those you deem your competitors.  It is a hard concept as we are taught that there is not enough for everyone and that we must win and in order to do that, someone must lose.  This is utter nonsense as the universe is abundant.  This is another ploy in keeping us on opposing sides – the ‘me’ versus ‘them’ theory.

“We don’t all want the same thing anyway, so stop feeling threatened by others…”

Let’s take the ‘Parent Analogy’ – would you only want one of your children to succeed in life?  Of course not, you would want them all to succeed.  We don’t all want the same thing anyway, so stop feeling threatened by others and the wonderful idea of everyone experiencing abundance.

If you believe that the Divine is behind the Law of Attraction then it makes perfect sense, yet again, that we all manifest abundance.  Just like  parents wanting all their children to have happy and prosperous lives.

“Is it not a thrill on its own to see other people happy and excited?”

So, whatever situation you want to bring into your life, be it a successful career or a successful relationship, see others enjoying the same benefits.  If it is a raise in your salary you desire then see all your colleagues happy faces as you visualize them all receiving a raise.

Is it not a thrill on its own to see other people happy and excited?  This vibration is also extremely powerful and will make you a magnet for success, especially as all those around you will be experiencing good times through your visualizations as well!  How about that for a win-win situation?

If you find yourself having trouble with this exercise, then it might be prudent to question, deep within yourself, why you are feeling this way.

This exercise will help you to see the Grand Design – a world of joy and creativity where everyone’s a winner.

Above photo image created by Grant Cochrane

Part of the above article has been an extract from my latest book ‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ which is available now through all good bookstores.