What Can Roses Teach Us About Boundaries?

Posted on September 4, 2020 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

Natures True Beauty

The roses in my garden 🙂

We have the most gorgeous roses in my little Karoo garden. We have red rose topiaries that flank our driveway. These roses (see pic to your right and below) are so red that they actually hurt your eyes when you stare at them too long.

I set out to sketch these roses for a design idea I had for my store.

What stood out for me was that these beautiful roses had massive, massive thorns.

Big ones and little ones — so you can’t even think of touching them. And to pick them, you’d have to don some serious gloves!

Beauty and Boundaries

It got me thinking.

Such fragile and glorious flowers but you can’t touch them…lol. Nature has a great sense of humour!

Or maybe, just maybe, it’s natures way of protecting this grand creation.

After all, if roses weren’t so thwart with sharp sticky outy bits, we’d probably desecrate rose bushes instead of letting them be and leaving the admiration to pure sight — look, don’t touch.

Roses have some pretty strong boundaries.

Our Own Thorns

This is the design I came up with 🙂 For a limited time only, you can get these cushions for $20.83 when you buy 2 or more.

We, as human beings, can be pretty prickly too sometimes.

Occasionally, it takes the care of someone handling us with gloves and taking the time to have proper pruning sheers before they can get to us 😉

Through whatever experience we’ve gone through in our lives, we can sprout thorns on demand when we feel in danger of being torn down or stomped on. Perhaps even when we feel threatened by our own beauty (inner or outer) that can shine out and attract unwanted energy or attention.

It’s a thorny issue (corny, I know).

Some people may call us bitches or bastards for this inherent trait but, upon reflection, I think it could be nature’s very own way of helping us to set boundaries when our innate is telling us someone or something is not serving us. Or, possibly, we could be in very real danger, whether it is emotional or physical.

Sometimes thorns are needed.

My roses seem to be telling me to trust my innate sense of wisdom, it’s there for a reason. Or maybe they’re telling me I’m a prick.

Can I tempt you to read another article? Click on the pics below:

Take The Test — Are You a Slave to Social Networking?

Posted on December 4, 2012 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

This is not going to be an article bashing social networking or shouting from the rooftops that it’s from the devil. No, I find it an extremely helpful, if not detrimental, modern-day tool. I utilize it socially — to stay in touch with friends and family — and I use it for my business.

Social networking is a great device for spreading information and touching base. However, it can also be abused.

All too often I see people with their noses stuck to their iPods, even when they are publicly with someone else. Does anyone else find this extremely rude?

What is it that keeps the populace stuck to other people’s dramas or, in some case, tedious actions? Are we craving attention? Is it the need to feel connected? Is it that ugly ego rearing its head and wanting to be seen or to compare?

I feel these actions can inadvertantly drain our inspiration and drive. However, if used properly, they can be great tools of motivation and new ideas.

Let’s Get Real

I think we will all have different reasons for using social networking but if you are finding it hard to keep those nimble thumbs off your key-pad, then let’s dive into a bit of introspection — answer these questions honestly:

Control – do you have command over how much time you spend on social networks such as facebook or twitter, or does it have an irrepressible hold on you?
Breaks — can you go without it for a long period of time and not be bothered? Have you ever tested yourself on this?
Loss — do you feel disconnected if you don’t ‘plug in’? Are you just itching to be updated again? Are you feeling like you are missing out on something?
Time – how many moments do you waste scouring news feeds only to find that 2 hours have passed and you have not really found anything of true value?
Question — how are you using it? Is it benefitting you in some way? Or is it serving as a distraction? Or both?
Limits — can you set yourself boundaries and time limits?
Trimming —Hone down who and what you give your energy to. Are you wasting a lot of time on engaging in a drama that really doesn’t involve you? Are you helping or fueling the situation? Or are you just filling empty space?
Clarity — are you using facebook for friends and people you actually know? Or do you befriend any Tom, Dick and Harry that requests your precious time? Get clear about which social networks are for what. In other words, use facebook or twitter to stay in touch with interesting people, friends and family and sites like LinkedIn and facebook business pages for your associates, promotions and dealings. Be clear about the reason you are using these sites and don’t just give your time away willy-nilly.
Allocations — assign specific times to go on for personal and business use and be liable for those periods — keep to that schedule.

Rudeness Concealed as ‘The Norm’

At all costs avoid whipping out your iPad in real conversation with bona fide friends and colleagues – nobody appreciates this and you may end up losing a tangible friend or business deal for one moment of digital gratification.

The friends who are willing to meet up with you in the flesh are the ones that will be there for you when you need them. Give them your undivided attention and respect.

If someone has taken time out to be with you, they should take precedence over any electronic device that is beeping for your attention — learn to turn it off if it’s a distraction.

Take the Test

If you find that social networking is controlling you and you can’t let go, try this out:

Alert your connections that you will be taking one weeks (or however long you feel you need) ‘vacation’ from the net.
Hold yourself accountable for it, no matter what juicy adventures you want to share – be present with that urge to splurge and be at peace with telling no-one.
Observe how remaining silent makes you feel – do you feel a certain tranquility or are you chomping at the bit? Really question yourself — do you truly need to share that photo of your dinner last night? Do your friends need to know how long you were at the gym this morning? Possibly not.
If you are experiencing more calm and ease without social networking, then this exercise has worked. You will be more aware of how to limit your time dedicated to it in the future. Work out a viable timetable and stick to it.
If you are edgy and feel anxious, then this exercise has also worked and you need to go into why you are feeling this way. Social networking has a hold over you and there is something there that needs addressing. Dig deep and follow the thread of answers to this question: Why do I feel the need to be distracted? You will be taken to the core of your inability to ‘let go’ of being in the loop about every little detail, or keeping people in the loop about every endeavor you undertake.

You Are the Center of Your Own World

When you take a break from your social networking sites, I can bet that you most likely will not be missed — however, this will not be from the lack of love your friends and associates have for you.

The reason is, in all actuality, you are not going to be the center of their worlds and they will most likely have many other diversions to keep them busy. Don’t take offense at this — it is helpfully indicative that everyone has a ‘life’. You are at the center of your revolving world and they are conducting their version of reality too — learn to honor this and be grateful when your worlds collide for the greater good.

This can give you a clearer perspective of how you identify what is important and hone down what you feel you need to distribute that will benefit others. It will aid you to ascertain what needs to be shared and what can remain private.

Call to Action

I want you to work out approximately how much time a week you spend on social networking and then compare it to your new timetable. Let us know how much time you have saved and what you now do to use that time more creatively.

Use social networking responsibly and you will have the best of both worlds.

Use social networking to see the beauty in life, to get inspired and to spread good vibes — don’t let it use you to become a slave to that lower vibrational world of gossip, drama and bullshit.

Original article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Conscious Life News

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9 Truths About Letting Go of Opinions that Taint Us

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Don’t Let the World Get You Down!

Posted on April 5, 2012 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

How to be in the world but not of it

As things stand now, you are most likely reading this blog from a computer somewhere on planet earth. My marvelous skills of deduction are quite remarkable, I know.

We seem to all be in the same boat, paddling around in circles, paddling against the current or drifting out to sea. How can we be in this beautiful world but not let it get us down?

Let’s face it, there is a lot of stuff that can, and does, lower our spirits and dampen our whetted desire to be on this planet. But then, when we look around, we see that this planet is an exquisite paradise, filled with beauty, intrigue and adventure.

Why is it that life can be so damn tough when there is also so much fun to be had?

Heaven on Earth?

There is a simple truth to life. We can create heaven on earth but we can also create our own personal form of hell.

Our very thoughts and actions will determine which destination we end up in.

Are you living in fear? Meet Jack Soap…

When you live in fear you are perpetuating fear.

Let me give you an example. If Jack Soap listens to the news constantly on the radio (which primarily reports bad news and how terrible the world out there is, along with all there is to be fearful of), he will be in a conscious or even unconscious negative frame of mind. His preset to life will be tainted with a neuro-linguistic programming of doubt and fear.

You may even find that Jack has a preconceived idea that he should trust no-one. He may even not like to venture outside his own home, let alone comfort zone, for fear of being attacked. He may even cringe at the thought of an overseas holiday, he’ll think you mad if you were to suggest such nonsense, what with all the potential terrorists on-board planes these days!

Poor Jack may not even realize that there is a sunny and bright side to life. It is as if he could be living on a different planet to John.

Are you living in love? Meet John Doe…

Meet John Doe (yes, alright! I know my pseudonyms leave something to be desired). He enjoys listening to uplifting music rather than put on the news. He enjoys walks in the park and getting in touch with nature.

He sees the beauty that the world has to offer. He smiles at people as he walks along his path and they smile back. He is certain that there is goodness in everybody because that is his experience.

John is living in the world and enjoying it. He is not letting the world dictate his experience, he is dictating his own experience. He is detaching from potential drama because he knows he has the choice to only focus on the positive aspects of life.

When John does this he is in control, he is mapping out his destiny according to what he wants to manifest.

He is not a victim of circumstance and he is certainly not an unconscious creator.

Jack vs John

Jack, on the other hand, is in the world and of the world. He is getting trapped in the lower vibrational frequency of negativity and he is letting the world dictate his experience.

He is unconsciously creating an undesirable life. He may not even be aware that he can change this at any time if he so wishes.

Jack was blessed with freewill, just like John. Jack, however, can’t seem to see it. He can’t take responsibility for his life choices because he feels he hasn’t made them.

But he has.

Whether he chooses to accept that or not, he has made his bed and he is tossing and turning in it.

Can you see the message behind the metaphor? Be in the world not of it.

Freewill and Choice

Choose your experiences. Choose what you expose yourself to. Choose to engage in drama, or choose to love from afar and lend your support whilst creating strong, effective boundaries.

You do not have to get involved and bogged down in drama if you don’t want to. You can always help those in need but you can do it with detachment. This means that you can still help in this world but you are fully aware that it is not required that you get involved with a problem — most certainly not to the extent that it encapsulates you in drama.

Detachment

Detachment is not a word that describes the state of not caring. Quite the opposite. You care enough to help and you care enough about yourself to remain neutral.

Think of detachment like Switzerland — the neutral zone. You can lend a hand but you are not getting hooked into anything.

You can live in this world, enjoy it and be mindful of the ‘drama’ and/or the negative aspect of life. This will give you the freedom to pick and choose your experiences and know when to help and when to say no.

Do you feel that life is taking you for a ride? Or are you in the drivers seat of your experience? Share your stories…

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