5 Key Factors to a Lasting Relationship

5 Tips for a Lasting Relationship

“Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” — Carroll Bryant

Head Over Heels

20 years ago I married my school sweetheart. Yeah, we got married young (I was just about to turn 21 and he was 23) but we were head over heels in love and had been dating for over 4 years. We just knew it was the real deal and we were unstoppable.

We had many hurdles to overcome in our early years of marriage as we were still growing into our adulthood but, luckily, we survived the bumpy ride and the trying times made our connection even stronger.

Sometimes love alone doesn’t guarantee a lasting relationship — successful entanglement comprises of many things.

Read related article here: 5 Fundamental Steps to a Thriving Relationship

In the article above, I discussed 5 important steps to a healthy, loving partnership which covered:

  • communication
  • trust
  • excitement
  • ‘I love you’
  • ‘thank you’

I highly recommend you read the fluffy bits of this article as they are uber important if you want to nurture your happily ever after.

Taking the Sour with the Sweet

Relationships never stop growing and mutating — I learn something new about my partner every day (especially as we both work from home and are in each others space 24/7 — funny thing is, I wouldn’t have it any other way!). It’s exciting and can also be, at some times, eye-opening — as in ‘wow, I didn’t know that about you‘.

Yup, revelations still happen many years into a relationship.

There are always ups and downs — there’s no candy-coating that fact. We’re all growing and learning all of the time (with a bit of luck), it’s especially trying in these auspicious times as we quicken into a global spiritual awakening. Relationships are going through the ringer!

The real trick is to always try remember to view things from all relative perspectives. There are a few more points I’d like to pick over, things I’ve discovered over these 2 decades of marital bliss:

  1. Perception — this is a tricky little blighter as we are so used to seeing things through our own perspective. We must always remember that everyone has their own version of the truth and it pays to put yourself in someone else’s shoes every once in a while. You’ve got to honestly ask yourself if you are being fair in viewing someone or something from a multi-dimensional standpoint.
  2. ‘I’m Sorry’ — it’s a prudent practice to admit your mistakes — especially to your partner. It really sucks when you have a one-sided relationship with a know-it-all. Humility goes a long way and it strengthens that trust muscle for you in your partner. Never be too proud to say you’re sorry or to acknowledge that you may have stuffed up.
  3. Tolerance — there are junctions in a relationship where you may need to concede and ‘agree to disagree‘. Your partner is entitled to their opinion just as much as you are. No-one has to convert anyone else to their truth. Your real test in this situation is to have tolerance and non-judgment — it goes a long way and shows a sense of maturity that your partner will appreciate.
  4. Detachment — now this is a strange attribute to put in a discussion about relationships. Aren’t partnerships supposed to be about being attached? Yes and no. You work together as a team constantly but you must have respect for your partners privacy. Every person needs a bit of space to explore their own sense of self and that should be respected. Therefore, practice detachment every now and again with your partner in a loving manner. Allow them to have unquestionable space and time alone without feeling hurt or rejected or making them feel guilty. You may discover that you need this periodic freedom too. It is not healthy to be so attached to someone that you forget where you end and they begin. It may be a romantic notion in a novel or movie to be so inseparable that you’re two halves of one unit. In my experience, you need to be a complete unit and your partner needs to be a one too — there are no half measures! You both need to be whole and independent before you enter into co-dependency — a bit of a dichotomy at first but well understood when you enter a serious commitment.
  5. Patience — remember that old adage, ‘love is patient’? It’s true — when you love someone you will periodically need to exercise patience — let things unfold naturally without unnecessary force. That’s how you grow as a couple.

I hope these tips help you to step up your game and keep your relationships healthy and thriving!

Read related article: 7 Clues You’re in an Unhealthy Relationship

CRDCherie Roe Dirksen is a self-empowerment author, multi-media artist and musician from South Africa.

To date, she has published 3 self-help and motivational books and brings out weekly inspirational blogs at her site www.cherieroedirksen.com. Get stuck into finding your passion, purpose and joy by downloading some of those books gratis when you clickHERE.

Her ambition is to help you to connect with your innate gift of creativity and living the life you came here to experience by taking responsibility for your actions and becoming the co-creator of your reality. You can follow Cherie onFacebook (The Art of Empowerment — for article updates). She also has just recently launched her official art Facebook page (Cherie Roe Dirksen – for new art updates).

Cherie posts a new article on CLN every Thursday. To view her articles, click HERE.

This article (5 Key Factors to a Lasting Relationship) was originally written for and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to the author Cherie Roe Dirksen and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

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Love vs Fear: Which One Are You Going To Let Win?

HeartShaped Love by Cherie Roe Dirksen

No More Unconscious Creating

We are now firmly rooted in a new consciousness on Earth. As awesome as boldly going where no man has gone before is, we still have a major topic we need to address – fear.

In the absence of love we are left with fear. It’s as simple as: no light = dark.

When we no longer trust our instincts we give in to fear.  You can see fear as an illusion and only becomes a perceived reality when you let it become real for you.

Illusion versus Perceived Reality  

To illustrate this point, lets take the illusory nature of assumption (for more about assumption, CLICK HERE).

When you assume something  you do not possess all the facts or truth of the matter at hand.  When you form an idea of what is happening you are assuming (which is an illusory concept).

Then when your assumption has rooted itself in your psyche as the truth, you give it form and this can lead either to the creation of your assumption or the suffering of your ego based on the assumption.  And all this was made possible through an illusion.

“When you worry about something you are future-projecting a negative outcome. “

Fear works in much the same way.  Worry is a form of fear that most of us are altogether too familiar with.  When you worry about something you are future-projecting a negative outcome.

Related article: Love Is Stronger than Fear: 6 Ways Americans Are Defying Islamaphobia

Sometimes the situations we worry about never come to pass.  Worry is an illusion. As the famous saying goes, worry only robs you of your present joy.

When I talk about the NOW or present moment awareness, I am referring to the point of acceptance that one arrives at when there is an absence of fear.  There are many roads that take you to fear such as worry, anxiety, stress, panic, anger, resentment, revenge, etc but they all are rooted in fear.

So, succinctly, fear is the root on the scale of negativity.  The opposite of fear would be love.

Good Ol’ Gushy Love

The emotions that lead you to love are joy, happiness, elation, bliss, mirth, laughter, etc and these are all rooted in love.  The ultimate root on the scale of positivity.  The light and dark aspects of existence.

Without either of these perspectives we would live a very dull life.  We need a basis of comparison, in other words, how would you know not to put your hand in the fire if you had never been burnt.

How would you know just how perfect your body felt if you hadn’t had that painful full-body, extra strength Thai sports massage?

“If you choose to let fear take a back seat you will see the world open up to you in ways you never imagined.”

We need comparisons to ascertain what we do want.

Fear is generally not wanted but it certainly gains momentum — it’s a tricky little blighter.  The thing is, and always will be, are you aware?

When you can become aware of your fears you can deal with them.  If you are playing the victim role, then perhaps you are quite content to be in a cocoon of misery – the choice remain yours.

  • Do you want this?
  • Is there a better way?

There is always choice and we are always co-creating our lives.  If you choose to let fear take a back seat you will see the world open up to you in ways you never imagined.

When you can master how you spend your energy and who you spend it on, you won’t allow yourself to be sucked into the various dramas that people create.  When you no longer fear living, you will begin to truly live in a way that embraces every moment.

Be Free

True freedom can only be found on the path that leads to the root of love — the knowing that all is well and the trusting that the universe is organized and you are a part of that.

“We all need to have our eyes wide open to what we are manifesting and creating on a day-to-day, if not minute-to-minute, basis. “

Look out into the universe.  Can you see how there is structure in everything out there?  There is the cycle of life, death and even a bit of chaos thrown in-between but there always seems to be an order and organization to the universe itself.

Planets aren’t shaped like bananas or cubes, they are round (or at least they were when I wrote this).  Most of them are in orbit around a sun.

There are, of course, some free-for-alls that do not have a sun to orbit and drift through space but what a wonderful metaphor for how some of us feel!  You know, the macrocosm reflecting the microcosm and vice versa.

Bashing Fear on the Nose

Fear is something that we all deal with daily.  No matter what label you put on the emotion – if it is negative or coming from a lower vibration, it boils down to fear.  We now need to march straight up to it and bash it on the nose.

“Everything you experience is a manifestation of your thought.”

There is no more time for unconscious creating in this world.

Related article: Consciousness Creates Reality: New Thoughts = New Action = New Life

We all need to have our eyes wide open to what we are manifesting and creating on a day-to-day, if not minute-to-minute, basis.

Everything you experience is a manifestation of your thought.  Everything from the bird in the tree that is singing to the cup of coffee that sits next to you.

Most people just think about manifestations as being on the bigger scale.  ‘Oh, I know I manifested that really needy relationship’ or ‘Yes, I acknowledge that I my anger could have caused the accident’ but do we really consider even the smallest of creations.  If not, you should – because there is no chance in our world – everything is co-created and manifested through collective or individual consciousness.

Hard pill to swallow?  Good!  Nothing worth knowing comes to you on a silver platter.

Fear not, all is well.

This article also appears on Conscious Life News — CLICK HERE to visit their awesome site!

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2 Things You Can’t Thrive Without

Girl with a Flower by Cherie Roe DirksenMy mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” ` Maya Angelou

Who can’t agree with the above statement from the late and great, Ms Angelou?  We all want the full juicy experience that the cornucopia of life can lay tumbling at our feet.

 ROFLOL, Drive and Grace

To have strong, hot passion — in whatever we endeavor to do — is the delectability of living this life.  To be able to laugh at our fragile mortality and existential situations is pure magic and can be one of the most important exercises in our daily routine.  And to be bestowed with style is simply flamboyantly fabulous, darling!  They all make life more livable (and in the case of style, our wardrobes heavier and our wallets lighter).

 But the two things I think are paramount to living the life extraordinaire are to have a limitless supply of love and compassion.

 “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” ` Dalai Lama

 I think the Dalai Lama hit the nail on the head with that one.  These two ‘traits’ are our innate tools to a trade-up in human existence.

Most of us want peace on earth and the sense that we are evolving and not devolving. Although on the surface it might look like society is on an insidious degeneration, I feel that where love and compassion exist — even if it is in small packages (after all, we’re going to do this one fabulous soul at a time — one courageous community at a time) — there is hope for reprieve.

Connect, Love and Fertilize — Happy Days!

Love holds our intrinsic ability to connect with and hold space for each other (fleshy or furry) and the planet (and the universe!) — it’s the glue that holds existence together IMHO (soon I’ll be writing these articles in pure acronym — God forbid!).

Compassion fertilizes the soil for love to grow strong (*violin softly playing in the background*).  If we can’t empathize with each other we are doomed.  Truth is not singular and we need to open up to the possibility that not everyone thinks the way we do…duh!  Retaliation is never going to lead us to peace.

The antithesis would be to hold fear for others and even possibly for our planet (that can appear so volatile at any given moment).  Fear often leads us to judgment — the need to make someone right and someone wrong — which inevitably closes down the channel to empathy and understanding.

 Hippy Nonsense!

I know I’m going to get some people shaking their heads and saying that love and compassion ‘aint going to cut it — we need justice in the world!

I’m not arguing the fact that justice may indeed need to be withheld for a community to run smoothly, I’m just pointing out that you can still have love and compassion for a person(s) who has done ‘wrong’.  Instead of condemning someone for life, try to see if you can rather figure out the ‘why’ (compassion) and then treat the root of the problem (with love).

Okay, said my piece now.  Ciao until next week.

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Is Humanity Being Raped?

The Insidious Rape of Mankind and the Imminent Solution

Whoa!  Them is fighting words, Tex…

I’ve brought out many blogs about the imperative concept of yin and yang and the balancing of the masculine/feminine energies.  This one is, hopefully, going to be the last one in the series — the Big Kahuna.

I’ve had a pressing feeling to write about this but I’ve tried to duck, dive and dodge every bullet of compulsion sent from my ‘invisible entourage’ (who are encouraging me to take the leap of certain death on this highly emotive topic).

So here it goes:

Rape, Abuse, Murder…How Much More Can We Take?

With the current spate of malicious rapes, brutal disfigurements and fatal attacks on females not only here in South Africa but in India and, I’m sure, all over the globe (and in some cases males are the victims too) — there is a clear need to get to the bottom of why this is happening.

“Both sexes have suffered even though it may not appear so on the surface.”

I just want to say on the off that this blog is not going to be about man-bashing and I’m certainly not going to go on a feminist rant either.  I am both masculine and feminine (on a spiritual level) and I know that to slant any sex is to injure oneself.

These are my opinions and I hope they resonate with you.

Sexual Energy is About to Blow

Sexual energy is a miraculous thing when understood and in its natural state of balance.  But for the last couple of millennium our world has been in the throes of a patriarchal imbalance that has not only disempowered women but inadvertently stripped men of their innate power as well.

Both sexes have suffered even though it may not appear so on the surface.

Tarts, Jocks and Prudes

It is encouraged for men to be sexual predators but women must be prim and proper and keep their hysterical urges to themselves lest they appear somewhat sluttish.

Where is the balance for both parties to feel at ease in this impossible situation?

The man who sleeps around is told by society that the women who consent are loose if not whores.  How degrading is this for him as well as the female counterparts?  No balance there and certainly no self-esteem on either part.

Why?  Because the man is a mirror — on a subconscious level, he is also prostituting himself.  The unconscious mind knows everything even if the conscious suppresses it.

He feeds his desires and his ego by repeating to himself that it’s his right to do so because he was born a man, giving him certain ‘entitlements’.  However, the ramifications of his actions will catch up with him.

Low self-esteem may come biting at his heels that he might start fudging over with a self-righteous ego.

He has just built his foundations on sinking sand.  This structure is unstable.  You have to respect and acknowledge the Divine in not only yourself but others too, otherwise there will be imbalance.

Always Use the Mirror Analogy

If you see women (or men) as ‘playthings’ and objects for your amusement then that is what you are inadvertently projecting about yourself.  If you have no respect for women (or men), you are projecting no respect for yourself.

Starting to see the picture?

Of course, your ego will try to fight this every way it can.  It wants to protect your ‘identity’ — or at least that which it identifies itself with.  This is not your true nature, it is a false persona that your culture, society or religion may have thrust upon you at birth.

We are Drowning Under labels

On the opposite scale of acceptable norms, how pitiful society has made it for a man to have a ‘below average’ sex drive (‘give him medication, goddammit!‘, ‘where is the Viagra?’) or how morally degrading is our media that constantly pumps booty at us on MTV 24/7?

In the above scenario — these men are being totally emasculated by society if they don’t conform to that ‘jock’ standard.

We are drowning under labels that make us feel unworthy, uncomfortable and unacceptable and it is sheer bullshit.

Are You Just Another Jack the Ripper?

For Gods sake!  We are human beings with sexual urges and divine sexual energy to spend but we use most of it feeling guilt, taking that guilt out on others or completely cutting ourselves off.

“To be a master you need to be aware of your emotions and control your reactions.”

For example:  The guilt some psychopaths may have felt in the past for wanting to sleep with prostitutes (which might have made them feel dirty and impure about themselves — the mirror analogy at work) was taken out on the prostitutes (as in that notorious case of Jack the Ripper).

Suppressing the self leads to explosions of anger, rage and conflict.  You just have to look at the Boston Strangler to see how this looks when carried out in the physical if not balanced in time.

You are the Master

Just the awareness of a problem means you are halfway to ‘fixing’ it.  When you identify with it (ego) you are the slave to its compulsion.

To be a master you need to be aware of your emotions and control your reactions.  Understand them, forgive yourself for having those feelings (if they infringe on another human beings freewill) but to gain enough self-control as to not act upon them.

Then you can call yourself a man/woman.  That is the right of passage to manhood/womanhood.

What if I told you we are both masculine and feminine despite what your genitals tell you?  How different would things be then?

There would finally be equality —  no argument.

Where Did We Break?

You cannot be whole if you are broken.  A whole person would never need to belittle, hurt or degrade another.  Someone who does this is broken themselves.

“If you truly loved yourself, you could never hurt another.” — Buddha

The good news is, it doesn’t take a lot to fix.  It’s usually just ideas and concepts about yourself that you have to peel away until the true you is revealed.

Let the Child in You Help You to Remember

Can you remember when you were a child and your parents fought?

For those of you who grew up without both parents, I can tell you what it felt like:  awful!  You felt like your world was about to crumble about your feet.  There was a sense of desperate insecurity because the two pillars you depended on were shaking.

But beside the insecurities that may have been experienced you may have also seen yourself as a bit of your mother and a bit of your father.  When your father insulted your mother you felt insulted and when your mother went on about what a bastard ‘he’ was, again, you were that bastards child.

You may have even felt disconnected from one of the sexes due to a  parent behaving badly towards the other — giving you a subliminal prejudice against the offending sex.

You can see how, as children, we got the concept of being the embodiment of both male and female through our parents, which is perfectly natural,  because we felt we were a 50/50 blend of their energies.

If you had parents who were perfectly lovely to each other, you may have been very proud of yourself because you were a culmination of this divine energy.

You ARE female and male energies encapsulated in one form.

Butterfly with Balls

I feel really uncomfortable when I’m with a group of women and they start laying into ‘men’.  It makes me feel very isolated and upset because I feel like I am 50% masculine.

I also am privileged that most of the men I know are absolutely amazing.  They do not conform to that antiquated, stereotypical patriarchal male and abhor any kind of relation to it.  They are kind, communicative, thoughtful, protective, understanding and strong.

This is what REAL men look like.  Don’t let a few rotten eggs spoil the omelette, ladies.

Now on the other hand, I feel that some of us females need to grow a pair!

“I think men have been deprived of that female goddess energy that was replaced, oh so long ago, by the submissive female energy in survival mode.”

We need to stand in our truth (not be submissive) and be empowered.  Men absolutely love that divine feminine goddess energy.  A woman in control that knows her mind and soul is sexy — don’t think you’ll drive men away.  And if you do, be thankful — those are not the men you wanted to attract in the first place.

Skin — The Goddess

I have to share a story with you: My sister was at a music festival when the British band, Skunk Anansie, came on stage.  She said that the crowd were mainly very young adults/teenagers who had never heard of nor seen this group before.

For those of you who don’t know the lead singer, Skin, you need to read this: CLICK HERE.  She is one of the most powerful women I have ever laid eyes on.  She embodies that strong and graceful female energy yet she also exudes that awesome male vibration.

Anyway, after they had performed a couple of songs, my sister heard one of the young men in the crowd say, ‘Why haven’t we heard of this woman before?  She’s a Goddess!’.

I think men have been deprived of that female goddess energy that was replaced, oh so long ago, by the submissive female energy in survival mode.

That false separation we were taught has hurt us all.  It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that seeing yourself as superior to the opposite sex is like pooping on your own doorstep!

This is why I advocate that our men have also been disempowered and hurt through this process.  We are both Gods and Goddesses and we should treat each other that way, with love and respect and AWE.

You are AWESOME and you are DIVINE!

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The Fine Balancing Art of Yin and Yang

3 Ways to Cure the Pushover Mentality

What Ancient Egyptians Can Teach Us About Balance of the Sexes

The Shocking Truth About Gender Equality

6 Ways This Amazing Flower Could Help Your Sex Life

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Find Me Somebody to Love!

“Love is a many splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong…all you need is love!” ~ Elephant Medley (Moulin Rouge)

hand on heartAh, who could forget those magical three lines as tuned to us by that scrummy little Scotsman, Ewan McGregor?

But what exactly is love?

We all need to love and be loved.

Our entire existence is pretty much centered on falling for it, attaining it, looking for it, trying to keep it, giving it away, getting very upset if it doesn’t come our way — so what is this powerful force about?

The Be All and End All

The dictionary defines love as the intense feeling of deep affection.  A rather dull and disappointing description for something that rules our lives but it is very apt.

Intense (‘in’ and ‘tense’ — very tense at times!) feeling of deep (perhaps even bottomless, infinity) ‘affect’ (tion) —the process of being affected.

Crapola, words really don’t even begin to get to the bottom of this profound and exquisite sensation.  As Eckhart Tolle once said, ‘words are only pointers to the truth’ (paraphrasing).

Science and Love

Science tries to explain love as a chemical reaction in the brain.  That’s all — cut and dry…next problem please!

It makes me chuckle.  Everything in this existence can be explained by science but only a tiny, infinitesimal fraction of what its true nature holds.

You can describe the fertilization of an egg as the fusing of sperm and ovum in a ‘chemical reaction’ but that hardly explains the miracle of the entire process.  Bah humbug, says I!

I can hold up my middle finger to science and say explain this!  “Yes, well, that is the muscular encoding of the brains signal to clutch ones first, second, fourth finger and thumb into a holding position to carry out a point.”

Yes, but that point is far greater than the explanation, isn’t it?  The sheer force of my will and intent in raising my middle digit is to send you all sorts of messages that couldn’t possibly be said in such a reputable blog.

The Energy Matrix

Love, although it can’t be proven in a laboratory, is the glue that binds us together.

Without it we are lost.  It’s what makes life in 3D bearable and adds to our staying power here.  It’s what keeps us tethered to beings on the other side of the veil.  It leads us back to Source (or God) in a very inexplicable way.

“I need to LOOOOOOOOOOOVE!!!” ~ Madness (Muse)

Without love, what would the point be? Love is what holds our form together, the egg to our cake — the binding ingredient of existential life and beyond.

What is it exactly?  Beats me!  All I know for sure is that we can’t do without it.  Love is formless, wordless but it sure as hell ain’t meaningless.

Here are some love quotes to get your juices stirring — ola ola!:

The love for self quotation by Cherie Roe Dirksen

 Inspiring Life Quote

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‘Love and Light’ — What Does it Mean?

Do You Love Yourself?

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Letting Go For Your Own Good — Detaching Out Of Love

Do You Understand Unconditional Love?

Does God Love Us Unconditionally?

Turning a Grim Fairy Tale into a Love Story

Is Fear or Love Winning in Your Life?

How Trust Can Bring You Abundance

5 Fundamental Steps to a Thriving Relationship

What Are You Waiting For?

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Books you may enjoy by this author:

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5 Fundamental Steps to a Thriving Relationship

“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” — Bruce Lee

Header Couple

My Fairytale Romance

I met my husband when we were still at school.  It was love at first sight.  We had a 4 year fun, tumultuous, exciting, frustrating, explosive and exploratory courtship and then decided to take it to the next level.  We got married in 1996.

We never looked back.

Turning Pumpkins into Golden Carriages

After 17 years of being happily married, I can safely say that I may know a thing or two about keeping a healthy, thriving, loving and successful relationship alive.

We have both been working from home over the last 8 years, so we are in each other’s hair 24/7, 7 days a week!  However, we still manage to fall in love anew each and every day.

Here’s how:

  •  Communication — this is a biggy, hence why it made it to the no. 1 slot.  I learnt this early on in our marriage.  If you don’t have an open channel of communiqué, your relationship is doomed.  You will start assuming, begrudging and pretty much get the wrong end of the stick every time you decide not to openly talk about your problems.  Women are usually good at communicating but we also need to learn when we’ve said too much and when to start listening.  Men are generally not the best communicators — so guys, you need to work on your listening skills, it could save your relationship.  And there is no greater turn on than a man who listens attentively. Always make your dialogue an even contribution.  This means that you both get time to state your case and —on pain of death — don’t override, scream over or continuously interrupt your partner.
  • Trust — we all have the capability to earn and lose trust.  One can always build up trust if it is lost, you may have to work a little harder but trust is an integral part of building the foundations of a lasting partnership.  If you let that little green monster called ‘jealousy’ into your relationship, you are on shaky territory.  If your partner is not trustworthy, you need to look elsewhere.  I know this sounds harsh but a relationship without trust is disaster-prone.  If you’re a jealous person and your partner has done nothing to make you distrustful of him/her, you are also walking the gang-plank.  Be careful, your jealousy could drive your partner to the edge.
  • Excitement — never stop jazzing it up!  Don’t fall into the trappings of complacency.  Do you look good on the outside?  I’m not implying plastic surgery nor am I implicating that you have to be a beauty queen or bodybuilder.  Just don’t let yourself go, this is a no-brainer.  Keep your appearance fresh and appealing.  If you want an attractive partner, you’ve got to keep yourself well-groomed, fit and clean.  It also doesn’t hurt to keep in shape and have strong personal hygiene routines.  You’ve also got to spice up your love life every once in a while.  Don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable with but don’t be closed to all ideas — you never know what might literally tickle your fancy.  When it comes to everyday life, you’ve also got to think out of the box.  Doing the same thing week in and week out is boring.  Inject a bit of pizzazz into your social/play-time schedule.  Keep trying new things like eating out at that new restaurant, taking trips to museums/exhibitions, trying out a nightclub or just getting out into nature together by enjoying a stroll on the beach or a hike up the mountain.
  • ‘I Love You’ — not a day goes by when we don’t express this simple phrase to each other.  Don’t take for granted that your partner knows how you feel.  A little love goes a long way.  Hugs and kisses are also great daily practices, especially when they come at unexpected interludes.
  • ‘Thank You’ — always show your partner gratitude for what they do.  From the smallest things — like doing the dishes or picking the kids up from class — to the bigger things — like working hard or being a great listener or shoulder to cry on.  Appreciation shows you partner recognition.

They Lived Happily Ever After…

HeartsWhen you excite and love yourself with your particular brand of uniqueness and zest for life, you’ll be an electrifying, lovable, irresistible rogue to your partner.  Own who you are and what you want out of life and make sure you are allowing your partner to express the same thing in his/her life.

Be open to change, new ideas and constant dialogue and you will be well on your way to a successful, healthy relationship that will last.

A partnership is all about balance, love and respect.

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The Magic Ingredient of Life

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To download this desktop wallpaper just click on the picture, right-click and ‘save as’ to your computer (same goes for the e-card below or you can just ‘copy’ and ‘paste’ into an e-mail):

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The Secret to Living a Grand Life Revealed!

The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it’s all that matters. ~Audrey Hepburn

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You want to know the secret, right? You clicked on this article because you’re itching to know what this underground, hush-hush truth to living a brilliant and fulfilling life is, don’t you?

You may initially be disappointed to know that it is not money, good looks, fame and fortune or bending over backwards in philanthropic or selfless pursuit.

Now, although there is no judgment in having any of these features in your life, there is but one simple attribute you can muster up in this very moment that will bring you into alignment. The many masters that walked the earth, did so with peace and content in their hearts because they knew this secret.

Something that is so ridiculously obvious to some but not so apparent to others.  ‘Oh what is it!’ I hear you cry. You’re just going to have to bear with me a little longer.  Something as fruitfully juicy as what I am about to reveal, deserves a big build up!

The Here and Now

Here we are incarnated on a planet called Earth. Humanity in its apparent prime — a species so trumped up with itself that in our pursuit to strive for greatness we miss a fundamental principle to life and existence. A principle so far out for some that it is overlooked and brushed off as bohemian nonsense — the right to life and a reverence for existence.

The what to who and the who to what?

Imagine a world where everyone had the exact same amount of love and respect for EVERY life form as they do for their own self (assuming that you have mastered the ability of self-love, that is).  But, ah, here bares the rub!

Self-Love or Bust!

Respect yourself and other will respect you. ~Confucius

When you attain that love for self that I’m speaking of, you usually automatically begin to love and respect others as well as every other form of life you encounter.  I am even including what is deemed inanimate objects here.  Everything on this planet has a presence, from the rocks, plants and animals to the soil, worms and the very core of the earth itself.

If you cannot see or feel this to be true, this article will not resonate with you.  If you feel just one iota of truth in this, please read on.

The Secret Revealed

Love is what binds us, respect is what unites us.  To have love and respect for all life forms guarantees you an excellent quality of life because you will be walking around in sheer reverence to all you come across.  There will never be a dull or uninspired moment.  Why?

Because when you bump into even a stranger, you will see God in his/her eyes.  You will look upon a flower and see the cosmos within the fold of its petals.  You will sit up against a tree and feel its life energy resounding through your core and you will sit upon the earth and feel her heart-beat pumping out the rhythm of all life.

Hippy Thinking or Revolutionary Insight?

Some of you may be thinking that I’m some deranged and dangerous hippy, you know, one of those people that doesn’t even want to eat a vegetable because they feel they are killing the plant.

No, not at all. What I am suggesting is that no matter what you do, do it with love and respect.  If you want to eat an animal, consume it with love and gratitude in your heart for its life and sacrifice.  When you press a ripe and bursting strawberry to your lips, give your utmost attention to its life force and presence (the sunlight that made it grow, the water that gave it its succulence, the earth that housed it). You see nothing ever truly ‘dies’, it is transmuted.

Whether You or the Animal is Lunch

The animal becomes a part of your biology as does the strawberry.  You become part of the earth again when it is your time to move on (or in the unusual circumstance that you decide to go on a rather unsuccessful safari, you may become a lion’s appetizer and therefore be at one with the lion and eventually come out as the fertilizer for the earth).   Life really has got a sense of continuity (and humor), no matter which way you perceive it!

Find that humor in life, find the peculiarity of oneness with life and find the love for being a part of this unique system — life.  See yourself in everything and everything will reflect the wholeness of your being. Feel the life force in everything and shift into unity consciousness.  Do this and you will step into love and bliss.

Original article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Purpose Fairy

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The world could always use a bit more compassion…

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Finding God and a Reason for Being Here

“I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It’s just that the translations have gone wrong.” — John Lennon

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A Non-Religious Point of View

I just want to say from the off that I do not subscribe to any religion and am not pushing any particular doctrine in this article, I am merely purveying the teachings of which I am most familiar with.

I have a great respect for all the various religious prophets.

From the time I was a young girl I have found the church and religious doctrine a very hard concept to grapple with. My father insisted I attend church every Sunday up until the age of sixteen, something I resented him for, but now, find to be not only a very synchronistic part of my life but a necessary part of my greater understanding.

Sampling Tasty Tit-Bits from the Melting Pot

Boat at Sunset PrintWhen I hit my teens, I started to sniff around gathering insights to other religions and spiritual practices.  I found that there is actually a common thread amongst them, one sacred truth to be shared – love.

“Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams – they all have different names, but they all contain water. Just as religions do – they all contain truths.”— Muhammad Ali

Although I never liked the power and control the church had over its congregation, I always thought there was some very spiritually sound advice in the Bible.  Some things did have their roots planted in truth, but I also felt that other teachings did not and had the air of control and suppression.

The Anointed One

The parables of Jesus Christ always felt like he had a greater understanding of the intrinsic nature of humanity and the way this world should be experienced – especially when he spoke of our innate divinity – being the sons and daughters of God.

I feel his teachings were deeply rooted in an inborn truth.  The meaning of which translates to a profound spiritual morality that addresses 4 fundamental core emotions and practices for humanity:

  1. Compassion,
  2. understanding,
  3. non-judgment and
  4. love.

If you want to solve all of the world’s problems, start practicing this list.  See divinity in others and you are well on your way to mastery.  I wrote an article a while ago addressing the fear-based myths about God and how to view humanity as you would view your own family and loved ones — you can read about that HERE.

Your Veracity Determines Your Reality

Tree PrintOur truths are buried deep inside, and the whole process of enlightenment is to shine a light on them.  When we do, we bring ourselves into complete clarity, alignment and wholeness.  This is not done by adding to ourselves, it is achieved by going within.  A good place to start is to adopt regular meditational practice (5 Easy Steps to Meditation) and to start exercising trust of your gut instincts.

“The flowering of love is meditation.” — Jiddu Krishnamurti

Jesus was a regular ‘hippy’ spreading the news of love for one another. If you clear all the dogma away around Jesus his message was simple:

‘Unconditional and Unequivocal Love’

We are Divine expressions experiencing the miracle of perceived natural life in the universe.

This life experience is a journey of self-discovery and should be that of joy, love, abundance, peace and wisdom.  You are in the driver’s seat of your life – steer it in the direction you want to head for not in the direction someone else programmed into your GPS.

Your life, your choices.

Source Energy and Experiential Life

The Hindus call the eternal, unchanging infinite that is beyond this universe, Brahman.  They refer to this reality/world as Maya – the personification that the material world is merely an illusion.

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.” Albert Einstein

Lavender Field PrintThis illusory reality world concept can also be seen in the Matrix Trilogy, as humans are literally ‘plugged in’ to a computer-generated world (God bless the Wachowski siblings for making this movie and giving us such an amazing example of this very difficult theory!).

We seem to have lost the ability to see the forest for the trees.  We go around feeling a pit in our stomachs, that feeling that something is missing.

What is missing is your connection to Source.  The ultimate illusion is that you are lacking it.  You aren’t missing anything, you have just forgotten that it exists – and it exists within you.  Your heart center holds the vibration and frequency of the Creators love, the only true building block to your inevitable life’s manifestations.

Feeling Lost?

Home is where your heart is means that anywhere you are is your home – this could even refer to the planet you now find yourself upon.

You are never alone, because where you are, there is God.  Yearning to be somewhere or to be someone else is a self-defeating and self-destructive rehearsal.  Make peace with where you are, who you are and when you are and you will find your place in this world theatre – where you are the writer, director and actor of your very own stage production.

You are the Drop, so Own the Ocean!

We are all Creators living out our creation, we seem to have forgotten that. The ripples, that were born of the one drop, changed their size, and eventually went so far out into the ocean they forgot they were the ocean to begin with – the Source.

Enjoy your life and make your home at the core of your being.

“Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”― Anonymous, Holy Bible: King James Version

Believe in your heart quotation 250x244 Finding God and a Reason for Being Here

Original article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Lightworkers World

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‘Love and Light’ — What Does it Mean?

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What is Meant by the Saying Love and Light?

This is an interesting conundrum.  It is a saying that has become a standard greeting in the spiritual community but what exactly does it mean?

“Where there is love there is life”  — Mahatma Gandhi

I touched on this adage in my book Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth but never really found a satisfactory answer.  But, hang on, do I see a light at the end of this tunnel?

I was listening to Deepak Chopra (click here to see which one of his books TOTALLY changed my perspective of success forever!) the other day and he was discussing light in the context of photosynthesis.

Science and Light

Can you believe it, science rearing its technical head in a spiritual blog?  Actually, the bridge between spirituality and science is closing in rapidly.

Let’s put this simply because I don’t want your attention to wane: Light creates form.  There you go, in a nutshell!

Ha, but what does this have to do with spirituality?

Everything!

We are spirit having a human or ‘material’ experience.  We are incarnate — in form in a dimension that requires atoms (which are pretty much free-floating molecules) to coagulate into matter to make up ‘stuff’ (I know, my scientific prowess is amazing — I’m surprised New Science magazine hasn’t lassoed me to write for their journal yet).

Suffice to say that we need this ‘stuff’, or, more eloquently, solid matter to navigate this third dimension of physical, tangible reality.

Okay, now I know you’re an intelligent bunch so you’re still with me…

The sun’s rays are transported to Earth through the ether and provides organisms with light energy which they convert into chemical energy — a process otherwise known as photosynthesis.

Even the word ‘photosynthesis’ is profound — it is derived from the Greek photo-, “light”, and synthesis, “putting together”.

Without light, plants won’t grow and without plants, herbivores would die and without herbivores, then carnivores and omnivores die — you get the picture.

Are you beginning to put things together here?  Light = putting together.

Right, so Where is Love in all of This?

Love — although it can’t be proven in a laboratory — is the glue that binds existence together for us spiritual beings.  It’s what makes life interesting and adds to our staying power here.

Without love, what would be the point, right?

Ergo, in my humble opinion, love is what keeps us on this planet.  It is what holds the form together, the egg to our cake — the binding ingredient of all biological life.

So light provides us with form and love keeps us in form — interesting, huh?

Let’s Put this Together, Shall We?

What does love and light mean

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In conclusion to this waffle, I’d like to sum this up by adding; there is another wise saying in spiritual circles — Namaste — which means ‘I bow to the God in you’ — it’s beautiful and shows respect.  It is a recognition of the divine spark or aspect of the creator/God/source within another.

However, of late, we have this new greeting to contend with, ‘love and light’.

Now, if you like of course, you can say this with some conviction and actually mean ‘may you be held lovingly in good form’.  Okay, that sounds ridiculous.

Let’s see — how about summing it up with this ‘love and light’ meaning:

‘May love always keep your spirit entangled to the One and light grace your  physical being’.

What’s your take on this adage?  Do you use it?  Does it get your heckles up?  What does it mean to you?

Original article was written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Lightworkers World

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7 Proven Tactics to Spread Joy Around the World

7 ways to spread joyDoes it not feel wonderful to be the catalyst that activates the pay it forward system?  What is paying it forward?  For those of you who don’t know — it is when you perform an act of kindheartedness with no need for reward, the receiver of that action then pays it forward to someone else.

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” 
― Rumi

This creates a cycle of goodwill that can, hopefully, snowball — spreading out into the world at large.

Do you feel like starting an avalanche of joy today?

How Can I Be of Service?

Here is a simple list of things that you can start to incorporate into your every day life, scattering those seeds of love and bliss.  I guarantee that the pay-off will be huge — just watch how you start affecting people’s lives.

  • Smile at people — especially the ones that look grumpy.  They are the very ones who probably need your beam of sunlight more than anything!

  • Hug people
    — most people are tactile and appreciate some physical contact.  It could mean the world of difference to them if you hugged them instead of just standing there like a great lump!
  • Genuine compliments — don’t hold back on this one but don’t force it either.  There are so many times when we think something nice about a person but never actually open our mouths to voice it.  Just one little spoken observation could make someone’s day.
  • Practice kindness — be gentle and giving in all you do.  Don’t only reserve yourself for friends and family.  Treat everyone you meet as If you were long-lost buddies. Do this with animals too; they just thrive on unconditional love.
  • Be impeccable with your word — think before you speak.  Try to filter out your blurbs.  Sometimes we say too much or let slip hurtful things that we can’t retract, so be mindful of your dialogue at all times.  People will notice this and want the same quality.
  • Thoughtfulness — bring tokens of love and gratitude whenever you visit or bump into someone.  I learnt this from Deepak Chopra.  He said that this can be in the form of a silent prayer or blessing, a bunch of hand-picked flowers or a poem.  It needn’t cost anything but the thought.  People really do appreciate your consideration.
  • Greet – always try to say a cheerful ‘hello’ to passers-by, shop assistants or anyone who catches your eye.  This is a simple yet effective practice that works because you are acknowledging their existence.

Acknowledgement — ‘I See You’

I would like to share a story with you.  I was walking in the streets of Cape Town when asub button homeless man on a bench asked me for some change.

I stopped and started looking in my bag for some money.  While I was scouring my untidy bag for loose coins he started to mumble something like ‘sorry for wasting my time’ to which I replied that he could never waste my time.

He looked quite startled at this and said that I had got him wrong, he had actually said that most people tell him that he is wasting their time and was really thankful that I had even stopped to talk to him, let alone give him money.

I did manage to fish out a few coins for him, as I handed it over I apologized as it wasn’t much.  To this he replied, ‘it is not the money that has made my day, it is the fact that you even stopped to acknowledge my presence.’  I held back a bit to talk with him and he said something else that I found remarkable but understood him completely.


Don’t Judge a Book by it’s Cover

He said that he was not ‘this’ as he pointed to his disheveled clothes — referring that he was not a vagrant. 

He said that he was a soul on a journey, just like everyone else, and he has chosen this path to learn something that he still needs to figure out.  I found this man to be a truly courageous and enlightened human being who taught me something very valuable that day. 

Do not pass anyone by, make sure that the very least you give is your attention — this can be their gold nugget.

*Original article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Purpose Fairy — to read the original article click here and here for the second part.

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Just 1 Simple Truth to Enlightenment — Are You Prepared?

The 1 simple truth to enlightenment is…ah!  But if I told you that now, I would spoil the rest of this article for you.  You’ll have to just soldier on ’til the end.  Let’s begin with:

One Big Happy Family Theory

I read an interesting article on the internet that claimed a demographer created a probability model theorising that a child born in the 1940s in England, if tracing his lineage back to around the late fifteenth century would have close to sixty thousand ancestors.

When going back further to the early thirteenth century, that same child would find eighty percent of the population of England, at that time, would be on their family tree.

Can We Really All Be Related?

These claims suggest anyone living in England currently would most likely be related, if they traced back their lineage through English history.

“Could it be that we all stem from one race? “

Can you now imagine what going back some two thousand years would produce?  Or even 6000 years?  Could it be that we all stem from one race?  Or, at the very least, are we all intrinsically related in some way or another?

Perhaps we are all one big global family.

Dreaming of Unity Consciousness

This is my belief anyway and it is my dream that one day we will all be able to live in symbiance with each other and along with all different beliefs and faiths.  We will come to a point where we do not judge or dissuade anyone from their place of truth — especially what they choose to believe in.

Messiah Messages of Love

I do not subscribe to any religion — I believe in God or a Divine Source.  However, I do have a great respect for all the various belief systems as I have come to realise the
underlying current is usually one of love.

“…we are painting a picture of an all-encompassing metaphorical concept of the sacred messengers (messiah) of God’s Word.”

I feel every Messiah that has graced this Earth can be clearly seen in these words as they all came in with messages of love, and they should all be acknowledged in the same light.

Whether we are addressing Abraham, Muhammad, Krishna, Gautama Buddha or Jesus Christ, we are painting a picture of an all-encompassing metaphorical concept of the sacred messengers (messiah) of God’s Word.

We all come in different packages so why can’t messiahs too?  They may come in the package of being Jewish, or Indian or Arabic, etc — and why not?

Perspectives and Holding Your Tongue

It is an obvious deduction that we may need different cultural perspectives to gain one simple idea.  So which one is right and true?  Is it so hard to conceive that many masters bring one message?

“You can love unconditionally without having to be the sole provider or keeper of the Truth.”

Let us try to tune in to all these delicious deities as a whole on our quest to unravel these messages of unconditional love and while we are on this journey of life, let’s not forget that we are all connected to each other and your life does not require for your neighbour to hold the same beliefs as you.  You can love unconditionally without having to be the sole provider or keeper of the Truth.

There are 7 billion versions and perspectives of the truth out there and your view is but one.

If you just focused on your own integrity, you would see that there is no need to focus on another’s.  That is for them to address, not you.  Leave judgement at the door and focus on yourself and your own growth — leave your fellow brothers and sisters to unravel their own life’s unique tapestry.

What it All Boils Down To Is…

Respect and love others, respect and love yourself.  Respect and love all life forms and you will have stepped into enlightenment.

Simple.

Are You Using Your Heart Properly?

Listen to Your Heart

hand on heartTo avoid the cheesy violin strings and perhaps the urge to start singing a Roxette song, I’m going to get straight to the point of this blog.

Your heart centre tells you where you are heading.  Your gut instinct is a great thing to follow and that usually tells us when we have strayed off course.  You know, the butterflies in the stomach or sinking feeling felt in the solar plexus (stomach area).

When you can shift the feeling of surety up into your heart centre and feel an overwhelming confidence for what you are doing, then you are working from your heart and you can trust the process.

If you feel a strain in this area when you move your feelings up into your heart centre, then you need to reflect on your decision, something is still amiss.

The Importance of Feeling

Why is it important to feel things?  Our emotions are our internal guidance system, much like a GPS trying to steer us onto the right course, if only we pay attention.

“…we reconnect with our soul and can realign ourselves to our purpose.”

DisconnectedIf you are working with a GPS in your car and you keep ignoring the signals then you will be in a state of chaotic driving, going nowhere at every turn.  Feeling lost and disconnected whilst at any point in time, you could have just listened to that voice on the GPS to get you back on track.

This is why meditation is so useful, we reconnect with our soul and can realign ourselves to our purpose.

Are You Lost?

It seems like a no-brainer but we often decide to just ignore our gut instincts or turn off the voice of reason in the head.  That is when we wander from our path and get lost in the forest of uncertainty.

Do You Know You Have a Compass in Your Pocket?

So take time out to meditate, realign and trust the heart.  You have an internal barometer — use it.  Trust yourself more.  You do know everything, it is all there at your core and when you tap into that, you are tapping into the knowledge of the Universe or what is sometimes referred to as the Divine Matrix.

You just need to learn to be still, patient and to listen.

Blogs you may find useful: 

Taking Responsibility For Your Co-Creative Abilities

Letting Go For Your Own Good — Detaching out of Love

6 Techniques to Stop Worrying

 Is Your Past Tripping Up Your Future?

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Letting Go For Your Own Good — Detaching Out Of Love

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What is Detachment?

Detachment is letting go of worldly dramas and living in true peace.

To still be able to love your ‘neighbour’ unconditionally but to not get involved in any kind of drama whatsoever.

Every emotion you experience in this life is a choice.  As soon as you feel resistance to someone or something or a pull to engage in conflict, you have re-entered the world of drama.

How can I truly Detach?

There are two different types of detachment, that I know of.

1.  Detaching with Love

white poppyWhen you detach with love you have a feeling of being in exquisite peace with the world.  You bear NO resentment, anger or aggression to anyone or anything.  You are in a state of allowing and you are working with your heart centre.

“To detach with love means that you are in the understanding that there is always more than meets the eye to any given situation.”

When you work with your heart centre you see the divine in everyone and everything.  You can see past the ‘drama’ of circumstances and situations.  You can see right to the very core of conflict and feel compassion, even for those whose opinions and actions differ from yours severely.

To detach with love means that you are in the understanding that there is always more than meets the eye to any given situation.

“Never assume to know the ins and outs of another souls journey.”

You are only observing a surface reality to a much deeper library of events that have led up to this scenario.  ‘Scenario’ in this case could be a life situation or even a certain person.  You see, we have no clue as to another souls journey, you can make assumptions and piece certain bits of information together, but, ultimately, you are not seeing the entire multi-layered picture.

Never assume to know the ins and outs of another souls journey.  This must be respected and a person who is truly detached in love, knows this and let’s it be.  Even if this soul is someone very close to you.  Every soul that incarnates here has their own life lessons to learn in their own chosen way.

We all come into this life with freewill and the ability to choose what we want to experience, even if this means we make the wrong choices.  Sometimes this has to happen for you to learn and grow.

Some people don’t learn their lessons in time but you have to respect that souls journey and choices.  You are not responsible for any adult human being but yourself, all you can offer is your unconditional love (even if it is from afar) and your support when it is needed.

Judgment is never wise, always try to find the compassion in any situation.

2. Detaching out of Fear

The other form of detachment is that of letting go out of exhasperation.

You feel cornered and frustrated, so your reflex is to detach to protect yourself from further hurt.  This must not be mistaken for detaching out of love, which is heart centred. Detaching out of fear is a lower chakra energy.

“Going within is not easy but nothing of true importance ever really is.”

You may even be experiencing negative lower chakra symptoms such as constipation (not being able to let go) or stomach upsets (solar plexus signal of anxiety/worry).

If you feel that you are detaching out of fear, then it is best to go into it.  Give yourself some space and time to meditate.  See meditation blog HERE.

The worst thing you can do is carry on and sweep whatever is bothering you under the rug.  Going within is not easy but nothing of true importance ever really is.  You need to do this inner work to truly gain closure for yourself.  Without this closure you will not be ready to move on to the next stage of development.

Forgive

BeachedA lot of the time, people tend to hang on to their past hurts.  This is not self-serving.  To forgive another for something will not only affect that person positively (and if you don’t want them to be affected positively, this is another sign that you need to see the divine in others to be able to detach with love) but it will liberate you.

I have devoted a whole chapter in my book ‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ to forgiveness.  If you are having trouble with letting go then I suggest you read it.

Trust

So if you feel that you are clinging onto something or someone, isn’t it about time to let it go?

Trust that the Universe will cushion your fall into the void of unconditional love.  You are the only one responsible for holding yourself back.

What are you still holding on to that you cannot let go of?  

Are you able to see how detaching with love could be a viable solution?

Do you feel that you may be detaching out of fear?

‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ is now out at all leading bookstores worldwide — don’t forget to order your copy:

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Don’t Let the World Get You Down!

How to be in the world but not of it

As things stand now, you are most likely reading this blog from a computer somewhere on planet earth.  My marvelous skills of deduction are quite remarkable, I know.

We seem to all be in the same boat, paddling around in circles, paddling against the current or drifting out to sea.  How can we be in this beautiful world but not let it get us down?

Let’s face it, there is a lot of stuff that can, and does, lower our spirits and dampen our whetted desire to be on this planet.  But then, when we look around, we see that this planet is an exquisite paradise, filled with beauty, intrigue and adventure.

Why is it that life can be so damn tough when there is also so much fun to be had?

Heaven on Earth?

There is a simple truth to life.  We can create heaven on earth but we can also create our own personal form of hell.

Our very thoughts and actions will determine which destination we end up in.

Are you living in fear?  Meet Jack Soap…

When you live in fear you are perpetuating fear.

Let me give you an example.  If Jack Soap listens to the news constantly on the radio (which primarily reports bad news and how terrible the world out there is, along with all there is to be fearful of), he will be in a conscious or even unconscious negative frame of mind.  His preset to life will be tainted with a neuro-linguistic programming of doubt and fear.

You may even find that Jack has a preconceived idea that he should trust no-one.  He may even not like to venture outside his own home, let alone comfort zone, for fear of being attacked.  He may even cringe at the thought of an overseas holiday, he’ll think you mad if you were to suggest such nonsense, what with all the potential terrorists on-board planes these days!

Poor Jack may not even realize that there is a sunny and bright side to life.  It is as if he could be living on a different planet to John.

Are you living in love? Meet John Doe…

Meet John Doe (yes, alright!  I know my pseudonyms leave something to be desired).  He enjoys listening to uplifting music rather than put on the news.  He enjoys walks in the park and getting in touch with nature.

He sees the beauty that the world has to offer.  He smiles at people as he walks along his path and they smile back.  He is certain that there is goodness in everybody because that is his experience.

John is living in the world and enjoying it.  He is not letting the world dictate his experience, he is dictating his own experience.  He is detaching from potential drama because he knows he has the choice to only focus on the positive aspects of life.

When John does this he is in control, he is mapping out his destiny according to what he wants to manifest.

He is not a victim of circumstance and he is certainly not an unconscious creator.

Jack vs John

Jack, on the other hand, is in the world and of the world.  He is getting trapped in the lower vibrational frequency of negativity and he is letting the world dictate his experience.

He is unconsciously creating an undesirable life.  He may not even be aware that he can change this at any time if he so wishes.

Jack was blessed with freewill, just like John.  Jack, however, can’t seem to see it.  He can’t take responsibility for his life choices because he feels he hasn’t made them.

But he has.

Whether he chooses to accept that or not, he has made his bed and he is tossing and turning in it.

Can you see the message behind the metaphor?  Be in the world not of it.

Freewill and Choice

Choose your experiences.  Choose what you expose yourself to.  Choose to engage in drama, or choose to love from afar and lend your support whilst creating strong, effective boundaries.

You do not have to get involved and bogged down in drama if you don’t want to.  You can always help those in need but you can do it with detachment.  This means that you can still help in this world but you are fully aware that it is not required that you get involved with a problem — most certainly not to the extent that it encapsulates you in drama.

Detachment

Detachment is not a word that describes the state of not caring.  Quite the opposite.  You care enough to help and you care enough about yourself to remain neutral.

Think of detachment like Switzerland — the neutral zone.  You can lend a hand but you are not getting hooked into anything.

You can live in this world, enjoy it and be mindful of the ‘drama’ and/or the negative aspect of life.  This will give you the freedom to pick and choose your experiences and know when to help and when to say no.

Do you feel that life is taking you for a ride?  Or are you in the drivers seat of your experience?  Share your stories…

Related Articles:

Are You Clinging on by Your Fingernails?

What Freddy Mercury Can Teach Us About Detachment

 

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The Shocking Truth About Gender Equality

Women are Men and Men are Women 

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?  This may seem to be the case when we are living in linearity with an illusory divide that is the separation between the two genders of humanity. But let’s look at why this statement is lacking a quantum perspective.

The Healing of the Female/Male Painbody

I feel like I was born into this world with a female painbody (for those of you who are not familiar with the word ‘painbody’ — a word coined by Eckhart Tolle — I am referring to the collective emotion/pain of being a woman).

” …the divide between men and women and the issue of inequality is monumentally better than just even one generation ago…”

The frustration of feeling equal in all but strength to a man can be overwhelming when faced with situations of unequal pay, if you are female, not being taken seriously with your political or even general views, etc.

I have to say that we are living in a day and age where the divide between men and women and the issue of inequality is monumentally better than just even one generation ago, let alone 300 years ago.  But there is still work to be done.  And in fact, it is such a simple thing that we need to do — to address inequality — that I have all confidence and hope that this generation will be the ones to effect change.

 Reconciling the History of Pain

The collective ‘painbody’ of the female goes way back.

“…the basic stripping down of the divine feminine and subjugating her to a life of being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. “

As you can imagine, we are talking about biblical times where women were practically written out of the bible or if they did make an appearance they were usually whores or harlots;  the witch burning crusades of the Spanish Inquisition;  the basic stripping down of the divine feminine and subjugating her to a life of being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

During my lifetime, I have pondered these many harsh historical tales and it has made me feel quite angry about being a woman.

I Want to be a Man

For most of my life I always wanted to be a man, this would have seemed to solve a lot of my frustrations.  Until I had my recent epiphany that has made me see this from a completely new perspective.

And hooray for this new revelation because now I can say with confidence ‘I LOVE BEING A WOMAN!’.

 Blood, Sweat and Tears…Literally

I woke up last week and had started my period.  I ambled downstairs and sat on the couch while I had my first cup of the morning and tried to wake up.

“A mixture of feelings had overcome me and I wasn’t too sure about the outburst.”

After just sitting there for about an hour I burst into tears.  A mixture of feelings had overcome me and I wasn’t too sure about the outburst.  So I thought to myself it’s just PMS and I am in pain so ergo the tears.

This  made me feel even more frustrated and the crying didn’t stop.  My dear husband came and sat with me during the outburst and offered consolation.  I then asked him if he minded me ‘spilling my guts’ to him in an attempt to purge myself of what I was feeling.  He agreed and the deluge began.

Frustration and Compassion

It started with me telling him my frustrations over how my period made me feel – sore, dirty, uncomfortable and, worst of all, judged.

I let it out that I was frustrated about how most women are judged or perceived as being a little ‘mental’ when they are menstruating.  I verbalized the injustice in this as your body does go crazy and it is mostly out of your control.

“When you don’t understand something, don’t judge it – just let it be and show compassion.”

Perhaps, some men just don’t get the fact that your body is being stormed with hormones and you don’t know your arse from your elbow.  The key to this is empathy – compassion.  When you don’t understand something, don’t judge it – just let it be and show compassion.  That’s all, it’s very simple.  Support and compassion.

No Stopping Me Now

The tears, however, did not abate.

I had just read a chapter in a book the night before that stated that women who have sex out of a ‘sins of the flesh’ or in lustful way have pain during childbirth.

Now I have heard of orgasmic childbirths and I have no quarrel with this statement as, perhaps, children who are conceived through the purest of intentions and love may very well be born differently – turning pain into ecstasy.

But my female painbody sprung into action!

  • What about all the men who have lustful ‘sins of the flesh’ type sex?
  • What is the pain that they are to bear?
  • A man is even guaranteed an orgasm if conception has taken place, where the woman is not guaranteed anything – how unfair!
  • Why must a woman take on the misgivings of these combined activities?

Utter frustration was gripping me as I tackled this concept.  I was back in the throngs of the painbody.

Collapse and then Rebuild

Whilst my husband took a break from the festivities of the couch, I sat sobbing into my tissue.

As I was in this moment I felt arms around me.  Whether they were the arms of my guides, angels or higher self, they were so comforting.

Then I heard a whisper in my ear:

 “Now what if you were a man in your previous life and all these men who ‘don’t get women’ were actually women themselves in past life experiences – you have incarnated here on this earth plane and you have forgotten all past life experiences”. 

Now I do know this concept that we have had numerous past lives and the likelihood of having experienced various different lives in various different genders makes sense.

No More Duality, Thank You!

Then the penny dropped (and along with it a lot of frustration):  All men in this current lifetime have been women, have given birth, have probably been raped or abused, have been put down, have suffered extremities and loss.

“We are all one and the same!  Duh.”

All women in this current lifetime have been soldiers and/or warriors, have done hard labour, have perhaps been abusers, have suffered bloodshed and loss just like anyone.  We are all one and the same!  Duh.

Most have just forgotten.

The voice then whispered again in my ear, “Now say the opposite”.  I wondered what the voice meant and then I realized that I had been repeatedly sobbing into my tissue ‘I hate being a woman!’…I tried it, ‘I love being a woman!’  I felt a great sense of relief and sincerity when I voiced this.

So, in figuring that one out I sat there – in silence.  So what is the solution.  This makes me feel a bit better but it still doesn’t solve everything.

Speaking Trinity with an Angel

Then I remembered something that Archangel Metatron had told me in one of my dowsing sessions.  He said that we need to redefine the trinity as love, healing coupled with compassion and this will lead us to mastery.

The Conclusion and New Beginnings

My conclusion is that through the love of each other, crossing every divide – be it gender or race, religion or political view – we will allow ourselves to empathize with each other and to have compassion.

“We are the yin and the yang.  There is no separation – this is an illusion.”

When we can walk alongside each other and lift each other up and offer support when and where it is needed, we will be masters.

When gender is no longer an issue and the problems that either gender is facing in the NOW is met with compassion and understanding, we will be equal.  Because we know, deep down inside what it feels like to be both man or woman.

When you buy into the illusion of separation, this leads to fear, misery and frustration.  See past the illusion of gender and you are just the I AM.

Just love who you are now.

Be grateful for who you are now.


Do You Love Yourself?

The Love for Self

Most of us have the biggest problem of all when it comes to loving ourselves.

Try this as an exercise: 

Every time you see yourself in the mirror, give yourself a wink and say (you don’t have to say it out loud if you don’t want to) ‘I love you’.  I know, the first time I tried this I laughed, it is hard to take yourself seriously but try it over and over again and see the change in how you perceive yourself.  I noticed that instead of picking out my flaws in the mirror, I started to see and admire the positive attributes of my body.

“…see past your perceived imperfections and look at the magnificent being you are.”

This is not an intention to be Narcissistic but an attempt to acknowledge yourself and the deep connection you have with your body and consciousness.  So, look at yourself in that mirror and fall in love with yourself, see past your perceived imperfections and look at the magnificent being you are.

The love for self is the glue that will bind you together and the strength of the adhesive you use will determine your longevity and health whilst you are in form.

“You need to accept compliments as if they were a gift…”

Try to also receive compliments gracefully.

Can You Receive a Compliment?

A lot of us feel uncomfortable with compliments and either resist the gifting of a compliment or deny it completely.

When you do this you are inadvertently telling yourself that you are not worthy.  You need to accept compliments as if they were a gift, you need not take them personally (as in identify with them which is your ego at play) but just acknowledge them without rebuttal.

You are worthy of praise and should accept it in kind.

The above article has been an extract from my latest book ‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ which is available now through all good bookstores.

Does God Love Us Unconditionally?

I am continuing my blog from Tuesday, where we are taking a look at unconditional love.  To recap please click here.

Divine Love

Now the Divine Source (or ‘God’) that I best understand never judges.  You want to know why ‘He’ doesn’t get involved in human affairs?

“Of course there will be no smiting, there is no judgment.”

Well, the analogy that the Divine is the all seeing father/mother figure brings into focus that when we do something ‘bad’ the Divine will strike us down but this never happens. Some of you think ‘He’ just doesn’t care but I think it’s because the Divine is free of judgment.

The statement that ‘God is Love’ reiterates this.  Of course there will be no smiting, there is no judgment.  Do not conceptualize the Divine as if He/She was human.  It is only us that think like this.

The Human Parent vs God Analogy

As the entity referred to as God has been interpreted as our all loving, encompassing parent, we too are intrinsically a good analogy for this as we all have that basic instinct for love of our own children or relations, even if they are not blood relations, we all have somebody whom we love and cherish and this is the one (or many, hopefully) that we will use this analogy upon.

“You can do nothing wrong in the eyes of the Infinite Oneness.”

I can only speak from an observation standpoint as I, myself, am not a parent.  But the love a parent has for their child is irrefutable.  Your child can do nothing to stop the unconditional love that you have for him or her.

“So the laughable image of hell is a complete and utter scare tactic. “

This is the basic framework of this analogy we will be using because this principal works the same way for the Divine Source.

You can do nothing wrong in the eyes of the Infinite Oneness.  Your behaviors may not be acceptable in certain situations but you, as an entity, a child of the Divine, will never be discarded.  So the laughable image of hell is a complete and utter scare tactic.

Hell — The Biggest Lie Ever Told

If your child did something really bad would you want to see them burn in an eternal pit of fire? Would you physically take your child and want to see them scream and burn for eternity?

I’m pretty sure the answer is ‘no’.

“Do you think the Divine so low as to not have compassion for one of His/Her own?”

So why is it that some people expect God to do this?  What an insult to this all-knowing, all-encompassing Father/Mother figure.  Do you think the Divine so low as to not have compassion for one of His/Her own?  This is one of the most devastating myths we have ever been told and it was invented to literally make us fear something which certainly has not got anything to do with fear.

The Divine Source/God/Infinite Oneness is all about love.

Don’t Suppress Your Divinity through Fear

The vision of hell keeps us trapped in fear and entices us to buy into the various doctrines or religions that claim to prevent this damnation from occurring.  It is a way of suppressing your true divinity by making you fear a made up scenario.

This is a game of entrapment through a web of fear.

Set The Truth Free

The truth is that we will never be judged or damned, we are all holding a shard of the Divine within us.

“Not all religions or doctrines are necessarily bad, they have many great truths in them, although sometimes misconstrued along the way…”

This truth will not allow for such lies to hold any more credence and as we all start to claim our own divinity we will see these old institutions crumble and/or, for the institutions that are willing to bend to incorporate this truth, we will see a restructuring in various doctrines to allow for this ‘new’ human attribute.

The Evolution of Mankind

Having Fun ©Cherie Roe DirksenNot all religions or doctrines are necessarily bad, they have many great truths in them, although sometimes misconstrued along the way, but all that needs to be done is to redefine some texts and have them be more flexible to allow for a changing world and evolution of attitude.

There is no better analogy than that of the human ‘family’ that we treasure so and put so much emphasis on.  We do this because it is real, unconditional love and it is the closest we are going to get to understand the complexities of unconditional love for ourselves.

This has been taken from my latest book ‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ which is now available.

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Do You Understand Unconditional Love?

Playing with Words

Now let’s cast aside all cheesy connotations of the word and let’s have a closer look at it…LOVE.

L  O  V  E.

Yes, but what does it mean?

Now I like to play with words and I think it is fascinating that word like disease broken down are ‘dis-ease’ and ‘remember’ is to ‘re-member’ (become a part of the whole again), so love backwards begins to spell…evol – ve?  Maybe…evol – ution…could be.  Just a thought…

Aren’t we all progressively trying to evolve in one way or another?  Could love be the catalyst for evolution?

To Love Unconditionally

Love is more than a word or chemical reaction in the brain telling us how we feel.  Love is the Universal language of emotion.  It can even be called the ultimate emotion.  Or going out on a limb, the only true emotion – the one that leads back to Source.

“We say we love unconditionally but in reality our love always comes with conditions attached.”

There are of course ‘different’ types of love.  The love a mother has for a child, the romantic kind of love, brotherly/sisterly love, love for thy neighbor, and the list goes on.  You get the picture.  But what does it really mean?

Love is unconditional.  Another word that most people roll their eyes at…what is unconditional?  We say we love unconditionally but in reality our love always comes with conditions attached.  Think about it.

Do you love your partner unconditionally?  No, I hear you say.  Okay, why?  Well, because there is the fear of them leaving or, even worse, leaving me for someone else.  Fear, another wonderful concept that I delve into in my new book ‘Divine You’ (now available at all good bookstores!).

Understanding Love

Heart IITo love unconditionally is best likened to the parental type of love.  Even though it goes to say that even some parents love with attachments — this is most typically found in Western and even in Eastern cultures where parents tend to live through their children and do not let the children experience their own desires.  But typically a parent loves their child (ren) unconditionally.

” A parent will love their child even if that child does something unspeakable…”

This is the closest we are going to get in this 3D realm to what unconditional love really looks like.  A parent will love their child even if that child does something unspeakable.  Even if your child were to commit a serious crime.  You wouldn’t just stop loving your child if they were to murder someone.

You might be devastated but you will still love them.

Turning off Judgment to Experience Love

Love is something you can’t switch off.  But judgment is.  Judgment can be switched off, it just takes time and practice.  I say this because our need to judge continuously clouds our need to love unconditionally.

“We judge in others what we don’t like about ourselves.”

Isn’t that what this is really about?  We blind ourselves through judgment of others.  Why?  Because everyone is mirrored back to us.  We judge in others what we don’t like about ourselves.

I will continue more on this topic in Thursdays blog (please click the ‘follow’ button in the sidebar if you wish to be instantly updated when blogs are released).  This has been an extract from my latest book ‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ which is now available.

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How Can Everyone Be Divine?

This is an extract from the first chapter in my latest book ‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ now available through Barnes & Noble, Amazon, WHSmith and Waterstones Bookstores.

Are We Really Divine?

Is it really a surprise that instead of searching outside of yourself for a savior to come and save you that, indeed, you are that savior?

The cliché that everything you’ll ever need is within you is now appearing to be an absolute truth. In fact, truth is better defined as integrity which is an undivided completeness and/or a state of totality with nothing wanting. It is a much easier, and if I might say, lazier route to hand over the job of spirituality and the understanding of the ‘God’ concept to someone or something else outside of yourself.

“…we must never hand our power over to anything or anyone outside of ourselves.”

This is what has happened through the various religions and even some of the ‘new age’ practices. You are handing your power over to someone else. If we are to take back control over our destiny and life as we know it on this planet, we must never hand
our power over to anything or anyone outside of ourselves.

We are powerful Divine beings.

What It Really Means To Be Christ-Like

The parables of Jesus Christ always felt like he had a greater understanding of people and the way this world should be experienced – especially when he spoke of our innate divinity (being the sons and daughters of God).

“Words are powerful tools of both positive and negative vibration.”

This is why I feel that the stories of Jesus Christ were tales of spiritual morality that encompassed compassion, empathy, non-judgment and love.  When someone speaks his or her truth there is always a resonance within the words being said that will affect you positively. Words are powerful tools of both positive and negative vibration.

So, when Jesus spoke his truth, it resonates within because fundamentally we know what it sounds like as everyone has this form of integrity inside them and that is how we recognize it.

Our truths are buried deep inside and the whole process of enlightenment is to shine a light on it and to bring ourselves into complete clarity and wholeness.

More Tasty Tit-Bits To Come…

Over the next few weeks I will be taking some more juicy extracts from my book to give you a taste of what Divine You is all about.  Please stay tuned…

This book encourages the reader to re-examine some fundamental qualities to living a happy and content life.  It looks at the importance of forgiveness, why it is imperative not to judge, how to use the Law of Attraction, present moment awareness, what unconditional love really looks like, how to vanquish fear, awakening the unity that is the christ-consciousness seed within you and lots more.

GET YOUR FREE COPY OF ‘CREATIVE EXPRESSION’ HERE

Your World, Your Life

I would like to share with you the outro of my book (‘Divine You’).  It is a poem I wrote just before I started the endeavour that was the undertaking of writing this self-empowerment guide.  It encapsulates the journey of this book and I hope it will whet your appetite.

So for now, I’ll leave you with this…

Your World, Your Life…

Your world begins and ends with you
You are in control, the master of your destiny

You are the constant observer of your world
You are the choice maker
Your choices create your world

You will know the crossroads when you see them
Think hard about who you are and what you want
Your decisions are never wrong unless you don’t learn from them
And are grateful when they are the right decisions

We make mistakes so we can learn
We have to make mistakes so we know what we want from life
It is never too late to alter your destiny or to right a wrong

Forgiveness is vital along your path
To forgive helps you to extinguish anger
It is not designed to indemnify the perpetrator
It is there to help you move on

To forgive yourself is a difficult task
It is also a most vital task

You were made perfect
You doubt yourself through the eyes and opinions of others
Be mindful of what you say to others and what is said to you

You know you are Divine, you know you are perfect
Compliments or criticisms from others should be taken lightly
Only you know your soul
Only you can evaluate yourself

If you let criticism into your heart you are agreeing with it
You will pick up a lot of this kind of ‘baggage’ along the way
Just remember it is easy to break the agreement if you do not concur

Only you know who you are
Only you can make the agreement

Never assume anything, assumptions only cause confusion
Make sure you know the facts

The world is your oyster, you are never to young or too old
Your dreams will become reality if you believe it
Thoughts are the second most powerful force in the Universe
Love is the first

Love yourself and you will have endless love for others
Hold love in your heart and the world will open up for you
See everyone in the world as a part of you, a collective Oneness
Treat them like you would treat yourself

Love begets love, fear begets fear
Again, the choice is yours

This is it

Choose

                                                      ~  Cherie Roe Dirksen

 

My book ‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ is now available at Barnes & Noble Bookstore.

This book encourages the reader to re-examine some fundamental qualities to living a happy and content life.  It looks at the importance of forgiveness, why it is imperative not to judge, how to use the Law of Attraction, present moment awareness, what unconditional love really looks like, how to vanquish fear, awakening the unity that is the christ-consciousness seed within you and lots more.

Don’t forget that you can also download your FREE copy of

‘Creative Expression — How to find your inspiration…’ HERE

or click on the link below to order your paperback copy for $19.99:

Butterflies and Hurricanes — 2012 is Here!

So, 2012 is here and we are about to enter one of the most anticipated years in history!

Are you feeling it?  This year has a certain air of mystery, intrigue, excitement, anxiety, angst and nervous anticipation.  What do we do?  What can we do?  Is there anything TO do?

The answer is an emphatic YES!  You can take time out this year for yourself.

The Search to Reconnect with Your Inner Being

Inner reflection is the key to unlocking the authentic you.  The you that is your core essence, buried deep down inside  — past all the various layers you have accumulated over time and experience.

“If you make yourself a top priority, you will be strong enough to help others on their path.”

  • Take time out to meditate, get in touch with the silence.  Learn to be comfortable in silence.
  • Take a fresh look at your diet and make sure to add lots of pure water, fruit and vegetables to it.  Remember that you are what you eat.  Do you feel heavy?  Are you eating heavy starchy foods?  Or too much meat?  Get real about what you are putting into your unique temple.
  • Treat your body to regular exercise.  Do something that you enjoy.  It is useless to commit to an exercise regime when you hate it.  Play to your strengths.  Do you like to take a walk in a forest or along a beach?  Do you enjoy dancing?  Find out what you like to do and fit it into a fitness routine.  Cater to your needs and preferences.
  • Take time out to be in nature — go to the beach, climb mountains, hike in fields or simply sit under a tree.  Reconnect with the Earth — this is your home.  Find the beauty that is on your doorstep.
  • Get creative.  Take time out to muck about.  Get a hobby, rekindle your interest for photography or art.  Give yourself time to explore a creative avenue.
  • Play.  Connect with the inner child every once in a while (preferably as much as you can).  Play in sand, dance in the rain, laugh your head off — let your hair down and stop caring about what anyone thinks.  What do you think?  That’s all that matters.
  • Eat lots of dark chocolate.  I don’t know how important this step is but I thought it might round this list off nicely.  However, it has been proven to release happy endorphins in your body, so a little shouldn’t hurt!  Click here for an article on the positive effects of eating chocolate.
New Years Resolutions…

So, this new year make your resolutions about you and reconnecting to your divine self.  Explore your inner depths and uncover your I AM presence.  If you make yourself a top priority, you will be strong enough to help others on their path.

Be kind and compassionate towards yourself and you will then be able to find it easier to relate to others and to see the connection we all have with each other.

Separation is the Illusion, unity is our reality.

Butterflies and Hurricanes

This year may feel chaotic and turbulent but you can always transmute any energy to your advantage.

You can choose to be the butterfly, free and beautiful or you can get stuck in the hurricane of chaos and drama.

Choices map out our future.  Make sure you choose from your heart.  It is easy to get caught up in drama if you don’t remain grounded and coherent in your thinking patterns.

Detach from drama and be the still presence.  Be compassionate and loving whilst remaining firm and grounded.

Happy New Year everybody!

My new book is due for release soon…

Out now…

Man on a Cloud — Fear Factor or Fiction?

I am going to be addressing a difficult and tricky topic — God.  Yes, very ambitious, I know, but very necessary.

“Our natural state is unity consciousness not separation…”

For those of you who don’t know me, I suppose you could interpret my beliefs as ‘spiritual’ as I do not subscribe to any religion.  I am not opposed to any said religion if it is perpetuating love, compassion and understanding — I just don’t like to label myself.

I don’t want to offend anybody, that is not my intention, I would just like to discuss an alternative view of God.

With that out the way, we can get on with the juicy stuff…

Our Perception is Paramount

What idiot, with his head firmly planted up his backside, came up with the all-too-familiar saying “put the fear of God into you”?  It seems like an absolute dichotomy to me and here’s why:

I don’t believe for a moment, and, I would bet my life in saying, that we are most certainly not supposed to fear God — I think that is a very human interpretation.  God, as Jesus Christ put it, is our loving ‘father/mother’ (parental analogy). A ‘parent’, nonetheless, that can be viewed from both sides of the scale.

Leave Personified Concepts of God at the Door, Please

I feel that the word ‘God’ has become overused and totally abused.  It can come with some unwanted ‘baggage’ due to a long history of the ‘us against them’ attitude and not forgetting that white bearded old tosser dishing out punishment, sitting atop a fluffy cloud.

God for me is everything and can’t be solely personified (that is just our human brains trying to grapple with a difficult concept).

Unfortunately, a lot of people still get hung up on the personification of God but for you more broad-minded readers, I will continue…

Is God Really About Love?

Inspiring Life QuoteLove is the root/prime emotion of the positive scale and fear is the root/prime emotion on the negative scale.

So, if you want to interpret God as something to be feared, I believe,  you have the freedom of choice to do so.

However, always remember that you are making this choice and it has got pretty much nothing to do with God and everything to do with your perceptions.

“God would not ever need to judge…”

God is omnipotent and you can interpret God as both the Yin and the Yang, the light and the dark, the fear and the love – but it is all down to your choosing not Gods’ judgment — in my opinion God would not ever need to judge.

Please remember that judgment is different to discernment.  One needs to discern (the act or process of exhibiting keen insight ) but one does not need to judge (an opinion or conclusion).

God just is.

A Parent Without Unconditional Love?

Let’s take a closer look at God the parent.  Would you prefer that your child love you or fear you?

” To want someone or somethings fear is a resounding alarm to your own feelings of insecurity and vulnerability”

Look to GodIn fact, would you want anyone to fear you instead of love you?

If you do prefer being feared as opposed to being loved, then I suggest you take a serious look into why you feel weak.  To want someone or somethings fear is a resounding alarm to your own feelings of insecurity and vulnerability.

As with the school bully  – the bully is usually seeking to feel powerful because he/she is being bullied by a parent or older sibling, etc. This is not a satisfying way to gain love and respect.

So why do people fear God?

What a slap in the face for this omnipotent entity.  We need to take a long and hard look at why we were taught to be ‘God fearing’ people.

But here is where things get a little more fruity…

The Word

Words are our greatest power.  We have the ability to sway masses with speech, we can cut deeper than a knife with our tongue and we can make amends with an apology.

“…when we think rather than feel, we can easily be misled by the word.”

We are touched with our hearts and the language of the heart knows only love but when we move out of our ‘heart space’ and into our heads, in other words, when we think rather than feel, we can easily be misled by the word.

I am certain that if you put your faith in your heart, you would feel an amplitude of love for God and fear would not feature.  But religion has taught us to fear God.

For what purpose, you might ask?

To keep you a slave to the system.

Nuts and Bolts

With the fear of hell and an eternity in a burning inferno looming over our heads, we are tethered to God through fear and in order to keep on the straight and narrow we hand over our control to religious institutions and the powers that be.

“Not only has this been the most dis-empowering act of all time on humanity but it has literally kept us in servitude and, for the most part, disconnected from God and all that Is.”

HeartThey in turn and with the aid of our allegiance, blind faith and money, will make sure that our souls are not damned and that we neatly fit into society.  Not only has this been the most dis-empowering act of all time on humanity but it has literally kept us in servitude and, for the most part, disconnected from God and all that Is.

Unite!

Our natural state is unity consciousness not separation.

This great split among people over religion and whose God is right has divided humanity and kept us in a perpetual state of warring factions — the old ‘us against them’ mindset.  This suits the people ‘in charge’ just fine.

We are handing our power over to others when we buy into the fear of God.

I’m going to step off my soapbox for now.  This is going to be continued…(or CLICK HERE to go to Part 2)

Other articles you may enjoy:

The Secret to Excellent Living

Is Fear or Love Winning in Your Life?

Finding Humility Through Wisdom

‘Love and Light’ — What Does it Mean?

Is Fear or Love Winning in Your Life?

No More Unconscious Creating

We are now firmly rooted in the dawning of a new age and new consciousness on Earth. However, there is one major topic we need to address – fear.

In the absence of love we are left with fear.

When we no longer trust our instincts we give in to fear.  You can see fear as an illusion and only becomes a perceived reality when you let it become manifest.

Illusion versus Perceived Reality  

To illustrate this point, lets take the illusory nature of assumption (for more about assumption, CLICK HERE).

When you assume something  you do not possess all the facts or truth of the matter at hand.  When you form an idea of what is happening you are assuming (which is an illusory concept).

Then when your assumption has rooted itself in your psyche as the truth, you give it form and this can lead either to the creation of your assumption or the suffering of your ego based on the assumption.  And all this was made possible through an illusion.

“When you worry about something you are future-projecting a negative outcome. “

Fear works in much the same way.  Worry is a form of fear that most of us are altogether too familiar with.  When you worry about something you are future-projecting a negative outcome.

Sometimes the situations we worry about never come to pass.  Worry is an illusion.

When we talk about the NOW or present moment awareness, we are referring to the point of acceptance that one arrives at when there is an absence of fear.  There are many roads that take you to fear such as worry, anxiety, stress, panic, anger, resentment, revenge, etc but they all are rooted in fear.

So, succinctly, fear is the root on the scale of negativity.  The opposite of fear would be love.

Good Ol’ Gushy Love

The emotions that lead you to love are joy, happiness, elation, bliss, mirth, laughter, etc and these are all rooted in love.  The ultimate root on the scale of positivity.  The light and dark aspects of existence.

Without either of these perspectives we would live a very dull life.  We need a basis of comparison, in other words, how would you know not to put your hand in the fire if you had never been burnt.

How would you know just how perfect your body felt if you hadn’t had that painful Thai massage?

“If you choose to let fear take a back seat you will see the world open up to you in ways you never imagined.”

We need comparisons to ascertain what we do want.

Fear is generally not wanted but it certainly gains momentum.  It is a tricky little blighter.  The thing is, and always is, are you aware?  When you can become aware of your fears you can deal with them.  If you are playing the victim role, then perhaps you are quite content to be in a cocoon of misery – the choice will always remain yours.

Do you want this?  Is there a better way?  There is always choice and we are always co-creating our lives.  If you choose to let fear take a back seat you will see the world open up to you in ways you never imagined.

When you can master how you spend your energy and who you spend it on, you will not be sucked into the various dramas that people create.  When you no longer fear living, you will begin to truly live in a way that embraces every moment and does not fear death.

The Dirty ‘D’ word — Death

Death is probably the biggest fear of all.  Death is a gateway to another experience.  Experience is the key to existence.

So instead of thinking of death as a finality, think of it as the ultimate experience and see how you can drop the illusion of fear that is crusted around death.

As I once said to an atheist science teacher, what have you got to lose?  If there is nothing after death, then you would never know and would just be snuffed out, with no after thoughts.  No problem there.

“True freedom can only be found on the path that leads to the root of love — the knowing that all is well and the trusting that the universe is organized and you are a part of that.”

However, if there was an ecstatic afterlife with a soul group orientation, my God – what a bonus!  Now I say that very tongue-in-cheek but in all seriousness – we are energy, ask any scientist.  Energy cannot be destroyed, only transmuted.  F

ear around death is truly scary as it acts like a net that traps you.

Have you ever noticed how some people transcend this life with a smile on their face and how some leave truly terrified?  Which one do you want to be?

Be Free

True freedom can only be found on the path that leads to the root of love — the knowing that all is well and the trusting that the universe is organized and you are a part of that.

“We all need to have our eyes wide open to what we are manifesting and creating on a day-to-day, if not minute-to-minute, basis. “

Look out into the universe.  Can you see how there is structure in everything out there?  There is the cycle of life, death and even a bit of chaos thrown in-between but there always seems to be an order and organization to the universe itself.

Planets aren’t shaped like bananas or cubes, they are round (or at least they were when I wrote this).  Most of them are in orbit around a sun.

There are, of course, some free-for-alls that do not have a sun to orbit and drift through space but what a wonderful metaphor for how some of us feel!  You know, the macrocosm reflecting the microcosm and vice versa.

Bashing Fear on the Nose

Fear is something that we all deal with daily.  No matter what label you put on the emotion – if it is negative or coming from a lower vibration, it boils down to fear.  We now need to march straight up to it and bash it on the nose.

“Everything you experience is a manifestation of your thought.”

There is no more time for unconscious creating in this world (for more about consciously co-creating your life, CLICK HERE).  We all need to have our eyes wide open to what we are manifesting and creating on a day-to-day, if not minute-to-minute, basis.

Everything you experience is a manifestation of your thought.  Everything from the bird in the tree that is singing to the cup of coffee that sits next to you.

Most people just think about manifestations as being on the bigger scale.  ‘Oh, I know I manifested that really needy relationship’ or ‘Yes, I acknowledge that I my anger could have caused the accident’ but do we really consider even the smallest of creations.  If not, you should – because there is no chance in our world – everything is co-created and manifested through collective or individual consciousness.

Hard pill to swallow?  Good!  Nothing worth knowing comes to you on a silver platter.

Fear not, all is well.

Related Article:  

3 Silver Bullets to Eliminate Fear

10 Ascension Tips You Need to Know

Cosmic Dance

As tongue-in-cheek as this article title intended to be — there is something to this biblical concept of ‘ascension’ but it may not be what you think.

To Be or Not To Be…What Was the Question?

Who am I?  

If this has been your question, then I would like to officially welcome you to the human race.

What needs to be clarified is that you know who you are.  You are the I Am that I Am.  This is not just some new flavour caption or the latest (or possibly, oldest) spiritual declaration of the times. This is a statement that holds no ego, no space and no time.  This is your true identity.  When you question your identity, you believe that you are less than what you are.  You are never this — you are only stuck in the illusion or the dream that you are lacking in some way or another.

Your Personal Spiritual Path

Now to find true meaning behind the saying is your spiritual path — your journey to enlightenment.  To say the words with no meaning or context is useless and is as effective as saying any prayer like a parrot and not feeling the words being said.

“You do not need to ‘find’ yourself because you were and are never lost.”

We so often miss this vital point.  Your ‘homework’ is to give juice to this phrase.  You do not need to ‘find’ yourself because you were and are never lost.  You need to rediscover who you are because you have forgotten – that’s all.  How you get to this point is entirely up to you.  Every soul takes a unique path to their spiritual awakening and this can be fun and daunting at the same time.  Now, this brings me to ascension – the latest hot topic.

Don’t Be Fooled by the Rapture

EscapismWill some be beamed off the face of the Earth (possibly like the Mayan civilization – disappeared never to be seen again) or will we all die and move on to the wondrous 5th dimension that has been promised by so many prophets and soothsayers?  Will the religiously righteous be taken up to heaven while the rest are left to fight out the apocalypse?  Is this all just one big hoax or money-making scheme?

They do seem like rather strange questions, don’t they? But believe it or not, they are being asked. We are looking outside ourselves for answers and we want them fast.

Some were even led to believe that the 21st December 2012 was going to be ‘the date’.

Now here’s how I understand this cosmic rapturing conundrum.

Could Love Be Key to the Ascension?

Ascension is a state of elevating yourself into a different level of consciousness and, in my humble opinion, is not a physical event.  This is a lateral and not a literal experience.

What has love got to do with it?  Let’s examine this more closely.

Firstly, fear is the catalyst for being in an eternal drama.  I say eternal because if you don’t break the pattern of fear it will lead to the inevitable cycle of karma – cause and effect.  You will be doing it again if you don’t learn this time around.

“You incarnated with the intention to overcome the illusion and fear is the root cause of all illusion.”

This is not some form of punishment – this will come from the will of your over soul – your higher self. You incarnated with the intention to overcome the illusion and fear is the root cause of all illusion.  Love is the reality and love will cancel out all fear.

So your job is to examine fear – not to push it aside like most of us are guilty of doing but to take it out and look at it.  We need to face the fear and walk through it.  You can take this literally or metaphorically, the choice is yours and will fit the situation.

Trust Your Gut Instinct

Your discernment is the key factor in outing your darkness.  Only you know what cobwebs are lurking in the deep caverns of your soul.  Only you can dust those corners and expose them to the light.

If some fears need facing head on, then do it!  If some need therapy, then do it!  If some need deep reflection and meditation, then do it!  No more excuses.  If you are making excuses, for whatever reasons you have, be very sure that you are fully aware that your excuses ARE your choices.

“No-one else is responsible for you.”

If you choose to excuse yourself from your lessons then you will be in for another round on the karma wheel – your choice.  Some people take longer to pull finger than others – this applies to lifetimes too, you know.  So it is appropriate that some will not achieve full enlightenment in this lifetime, there will be other lifetimes to battle this out – your choice.  If you are a go-getter, then why not make it this lifetime?

As Yoda said, ‘Do or do not – there is no try’.  But the bottom line to this bollocking is that you must be responsible for your choices.  No-one else is responsible for you.  If this is your mindset you are in for a rude awakening!  No pun intended.

I Am that I Am

Now let’s get back to ascension. Ascension, for me, is embodying your experience here on earth by:

  • knowing at a deep soul level your ‘I Am’ presence (being resolute about who you are),
  • accepting what is and always knowing when to take appropriate loving action when there is something you can change,
  • understanding that unconditional love holds the answer to all problems,
  • finding the compassion in any situation and forgiving freely,
  • giving freely with no attachment,
  • seeing divinity en-masse, with no exceptions,
  • knowing, at all times, that there is divine order,
  • knowing you are a part of the entire system called ‘life’ therefore stepping into unity consciousness,
  • honouring all life — in whatever shape or form, including self,
  • being comfortably in the world but not of it.

We need to face everything with resolution that all is in divine order.  Whatever is just is.  There is a peace that comes with this acceptance.  If you are fighting this phrase you still need to accept that there is divine order and that you are divine.

If you do feel this then when you are faced with a fear based situation, be the calm presence.

“There simply is no ‘ceasing to exist’ – even if you do leave your body behind.”

Even if this situation means death – all you have to do is state I AM THAT I AM.  If you die in fear you will generate a lesson that you will have to walk through again…yup, the good ‘ol wheel of karma.

If you die stating and knowing in your heart that you ARE the divine, you have accepted mastery.  You are in dharma or nirvana.  There simply is no ‘ceasing to exist’ — even if you do leave your body behind.  If you ascend with or without your body —state the I AM THAT I AM.

Your only job is to make sure you know what you are stating and that it is felt in your heart.

The Heart Chakra

When you are faced with fear, try to concentrate your energy on your heart center.  Feel your heart swell with love and gratitude for whatever brings you these feelings in your life – whether it be your children, grandchildren, pets, friends, anything that brings you joy and feelings of elation — this is how you will elevate yourself into a different frequency.  Now expand that feeling.

Practice this over and over again until you can switch on the sensation of immense love whenever you have to.  When you send out love and light to the world or to anyone or anything, make sure you are feeling the love in your heart centre (chakra).  This makes it more potent and it will bring more of that feeling back to you – so it’s a win-win situation.

When you love, there simply is no space left for fear.  You will be on a different vibratory plane.  Fear won’t ‘fit’ anymore.

Truth Be Told

I read a channeled message saying that we need to speak our truths.  If you don’t speak your truth for fear of what people may think of you, you are not ready.  That resonated with me and I am now fully motivated to stand up and say it like it is and if people think I’m a nutter, well, why the hell not!

I am proud to stand up at AA (abnormal anonymous – although not quite so anonymous anymore) and say, ‘Hi, my name is Cherie and I am completely abnormal.  But hey, I Am that I Am.’

The ascension is the awakening to your divine self, the knowledge that you are a part of God and the acceptance that everything has divine order and purpose.  In order to do this, you must also see this divinity en-masse — in everyone and everything.  How can peace and love not arise with this attitude?

Other articles you may enjoy:

Are You Being Challenged Today?

How to Get and Maintain that Positive Attitude

The Secret to Excellent Living

Finding Humility Through Wisdom

Taking Responsibility For Your Co-Creative Abilities

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Is Assumption Killing Your Relationship?

Butterfly banner2

One of the Most Poignant Taboos

I would like to delve into the ‘spiritual taboos‘ – maybe you’ve heard of them, maybe you haven’t.  Either way, they are significant enough to address (or re-address as the case may be).

These are concepts put across through the masterful words and teachings, derived from Toltec wisdom, of Don Miguel Ruiz

He sweetened them up by calling them the ‘4 Agreements’ whereas I have used the word ‘taboo’ as a mere marketing ploy to attract your attention.  As shameful as that is, I did it with the noblest of intentions.  We need to hear this – over and over if that be the case.

“To ‘sin’ is to go against your self or to ‘miss the mark’.”

Before we start with these tantalizing taboos, I want to address what it means to sin.  To ‘sin’ is to go against your self or to ‘miss the mark’.  So, go easy on yourself if you see that you have been performing or have been lured into the web of some of these sticky concepts.

Guidelines Along Your Path 

LavenderYou are on a path to enlightenment (consciously or unconsciously — preferably the former) and when you embark on such a journey you need a basis of comparison.

We have chosen this particular journey into the realms of the soul, so acknowledge your choices and correct them if it suits you.  These guidelines are merely a way to steer you to counter balance your integrity if you do ‘miss the mark’.

The key is to be aware at all times and to realign when you need to.  Oh and did I forget to say FORGIVE yourself if you slip?  These taboos are difficult to master but they can be mastered.  When the seed has been planted as to what they are, it will be up to you – consciously or, sometimes, unconsciously – to water them into fruition.

Assumption — A Deal Breaker!

In this article we are going to address the one spiritual taboo called ‘assumption’.  It is a much overlooked and yet one of the most predominantly adopted characteristic of modern-day society.

A more lighthearted look at this word sees the word ‘ass’ ‘u’ and ‘me’…”

To assume is to not be in full command with the truth or fact.  When we assume something we try to interpret, through sometimes limited knowledge or resources, what the truth might be.  We then run with this perceived outcome, sometimes even starting to believe it to be factual without proof.  It sounds ridiculous doesn’t it?  It is.

A more lighthearted look at this word sees the word ‘ass’ ‘u’ and ‘me’.  How succinct, seeing as assuming does normally make an ass out of one or both parties.

Alas, all humour aside, it is something we do too frequently without much thought of the consequences of our minds presumptuous actions.  This is not only dangerous but it is a detrimental factor in limiting us in relationships and with life in general.

Our minds are powerful, this is something most of us know and are starting to quantumly comprehend, so when you mentally construct a truth and play it out over and over in your mind you can either

(a) entirely convince yourself of it’s truth or

(b) bring that scenario into play in reality – in other words, give form to your thought (Law of Attraction).

“When we assume we are potentially shutting a door to further knowledge or clarification.”

Assumptions cloud our discernment and play on our fears.  When we assume we are potentially shutting a door to further knowledge or clarification.

Assumption at Work

GirlLet’s say you assume your husband is having an affair because he has lipstick on his collar.  You do not confront him, fearing the truth to be what you imagine.  You start to treat him differently, as if you are positive that his activities are dubious.  He has no idea why you are acting this way.

Cold shoulders and snide remarks rule the roost.  This could go on for days, weeks or even, God forbid, turn into years of total distrust if it goes unconfronted.  There could be so many reasons and outcomes to this situation but let’s take a look at just three potentials:

  1.  He was having an affair
  2. A lady bumped into him whilst he was travelling in a lift leaving a trace of her lipstick on the side of his collar
  3.  If the latter was the case – you could have irreparably alienated your husband and driven him into the arms of another through your assumptions and unfounded suspicions.   So in this case, you have actually given form or materialized the original fear based on an assumption that was not the truth.  You have forced the undesired outcome.

“Any situation can be resolved.  You never choose any experience in this life without there being a solution.  The only thing standing in your way is your perception of what you want the outcome to look like. “

Don’t assume.  You will undoubtedly pay the consequences.

Always ask.  Communication is one of the keys to living in your integrity.  Always steer yourself towards the light of truth, no matter how hard the truth may be.  Burying the truth will always lead to more pain eventually.

Any situation can be resolved.

You never choose any experience in this life without there being a solution.  The only thing standing in your way is your perception of what you want the outcome to look like.  Sometimes only time can tell whether something serves us or not.

Assumption can lead to a lot of unwarranted unhappiness.  Ever heard of ‘stewing in your own juices’?  Don’t do it!  Rather get to the core of the situation – the source, the truth.

What’s the Alternative then? 

ButterflyAn exercise to try out would be to identify and stop yourself when you are assuming something (big or small).  See if there are any alternatives to your assumptions.  In other words, we often tend to gravitate towards being more negative with our assumptions.

An example would be:

Your friend hasn’t called you in ages, she normally phones you regularly.  You assume she no longer likes you or you have said something to offend her when in fact there may be several reasons for her lack of communication – none of them even involve you!

“You form ideas based on it (assumption) and then your neural pathways fix and that idea becomes your ‘reality’.”

So, try to either get the facts or quell the desire to reach an assumed conclusion.  When you go into this more deeply you will begin to unravel a lot of ‘baggage’ that your mind sets up through the act of assumption.  You form ideas based on it and then your neural pathways fix and that idea becomes your ‘reality’.

Harmful ‘Petty’ Assumptions

Let’s say that you see your neighbour shouting at his children.  You assume that he has anger issues and that he is a bad father.

The truth of the matter may be that you have just caught him on an incredibly stressful day –  he could be father of the year for all you know – but there you have made a mental construct, not through years of getting to know him, but through a momentary reaction that has now tainted your view of his personality and parental skills.

You may even do further damage and air your opinions about him to others leading to an even greater adverse effect on his reputation based on your unfounded assumptions.

“If you can just come to the realization that you are assuming you can begin to change it…” 

Now, how often do we do this?  If you can just come to the realization that you are assuming – become conscious of this behavioral pattern in yourself – you can begin to change it and in doing so you can save yourself a lot of anguish that, more often than not, leads to so much heartache and misunderstanding.

What stories of assumption can you identify with and tell us about?  Are there any you are making now and don’t know how to stop?  Share your experiences and feel free to ask any questions.

Related Articles:

Do You Take Things Personally?

9 Truths About Letting Go of Opinions that Taint Us

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Anchoring the New Energy

Take care of my heart by Cherie Roe DirksenToday’s blog is going to be a simple one – a prayer for love and peace where you will anchor the new energy.  If prayer sounds too ‘religious’ then use it as a meditation or an affirmation.

This can be done as you read it from your computer screen or it can be said during your ‘quiet time’.

If spoken out loud it is more potent as your words carry a frequency and/or energy.  Please say it with feeling – without feeling the words will be meaningless.

“…it is a great thing to do whenever you are feeling low and want to raise your vibration”

The easiest way to truly feel the love is to go to your heart chakra (middle of your chest) and imagine yourself swelling with love in this space.  Think of someone or something that makes your feel joyous, blissful, loving or any one of the positive spectrum of emotions. Work from there and expand that feeling so that you are in a state of love or bliss.

Don’t worry if you can’t do it at first, this exercise takes practice and repetition but it is a great thing to do whenever you are feeling low and want to raise your vibration.

Here is the prayer/affirmation:

“I hold the vision of love and peace here on Mother Earth (HOME)
I see Her folded, safely, within the wings of a White Dove
I clearly picture a blanket of love and peace wrapped around the Earth and Her inhabitants
I feel the love sweep over me and know that it is felt simultaneously everywhere by everyone and everything
I sense the smiling faces receiving this love and I tingle with the presence of peace and joy as it vibrates throughout my body
My heart chakra opens even wider to receive the universal gift of this new love energy
I see all my earthly brothers and sisters embrace each other with warmth and compassion
They have lifted the veil of illusion
The smiles reflect an inner knowledge – they can all stare into the eyes of their enemies and see the mirror of self reflected back
They are relieved that they are no longer on opposing sides
They revel in the discovery of Oneness and can’t believe it was
so long forgotten
Arms (weaponry) are laid down
Arms (human) are linked
We are One

Thank you for taking the time out to do this, you have made a difference!

Afterthoughts…

Please share with us how this affirmation/prayer made you feel after you did it.  Your feedback and input is invaluable.