3 Questions You Need to Ask Yourself When Dealing With Aggravation

The above quotation is what is sometimes referred to as the ‘smoky mirror’ syndrome.  We don’t like in others what we don’t care to admit is a fault within us.

How Can I Identify this Kind of Behaviour in Myself?

An example of this could be that you are very annoyed with your colleague for never allowing you to get your point across.  This may be a reflection of how you  behave at times.  It may not be with this specific person, it could be something that you do to your friends or family, in a completely different environment from the workplace.

This is why it is difficult for us to sometimes identify the problem within ourselves — we simply don’t recognize its existence.

“Awareness allows for truth to flow through a situation.”

It is imperitive to find time for deep inner reflection, questioning and, above all, honesty when it comes to dealing with trying to figure out why your buttons are being pushed.

When you can identify the behaviour within yourself, you have found the awareness to deal with it.  Awareness allows for truth to flow through a situation.  So instead of reacting the next time your colleague doesn’t allow for you to have your say, see if this inner questioning system works:

  • Do I need to ‘have my say’ or can I simply be the still presence and say nothing?
  • If not, why is it that I feel the need to reciprocate?
  • Does it make me feel less important when I remain silent?
  • Do I really need to convince my colleague of my point of view or is this my ego wanting to control the situation?

Be honest with yourself. 

Now when you find yourself on the giving end of the situation — in this instance, you will be the one doing all the talking and not letting anyone else have a word — see if you can:

  1. Identify that you have perhaps not allowed anyone else to talk or contribute.
  2. Can you stop talking once this awareness has broken through?
  3. Are you comfortable with letting someone else speak and listening to their point of view?

I have only given one example here of how the smoky mirror can work, please try to mould this example to fit in with any situation you are having difficulties with.

If you can’t identify the behaviour in yourself, then perhaps you can go out on a limb and ask a friend if they see this behaviour in you.  Don’t be angry if your friend can identify it, just remember that you are on the path to self-empowerment and  you need to be able to not take things personally.

Call to Action!

Can you share a story about recognizing the actions of another reflected in yourself?  How are you dealing with that?  Share your wisdom…

Are you having problems seeing this concept in yourself?  Is there no way that you mirror the bad behaviour you see in others that irritates you?

Are you walking a fine line between acknowledging your faults or finding that you are just being objectively critical?

For further reading, please see my other blogs:

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…Who’s in the Most Denial of Us All?

Do You Take Things Personally?

More about this topic can also be found in my book ‘Divine You – Redefining Love in the New Earth’ (where the above quotation was taken from).

SUBSCRIBE TO THE SITE TODAY AND RECEIVE A BUNDLE OF INSPIRATIONAL BOOKS AND WALLPAPERS — 100% FREE

Letting Go For Your Own Good — Detaching Out Of Love

Bluebird

What is Detachment?

Detachment is letting go of worldly dramas and living in true peace.

To still be able to love your ‘neighbour’ unconditionally but to not get involved in any kind of drama whatsoever.

Every emotion you experience in this life is a choice.  As soon as you feel resistance to someone or something or a pull to engage in conflict, you have re-entered the world of drama.

How can I truly Detach?

There are two different types of detachment, that I know of.

1.  Detaching with Love

white poppyWhen you detach with love you have a feeling of being in exquisite peace with the world.  You bear NO resentment, anger or aggression to anyone or anything.  You are in a state of allowing and you are working with your heart centre.

“To detach with love means that you are in the understanding that there is always more than meets the eye to any given situation.”

When you work with your heart centre you see the divine in everyone and everything.  You can see past the ‘drama’ of circumstances and situations.  You can see right to the very core of conflict and feel compassion, even for those whose opinions and actions differ from yours severely.

To detach with love means that you are in the understanding that there is always more than meets the eye to any given situation.

“Never assume to know the ins and outs of another souls journey.”

You are only observing a surface reality to a much deeper library of events that have led up to this scenario.  ‘Scenario’ in this case could be a life situation or even a certain person.  You see, we have no clue as to another souls journey, you can make assumptions and piece certain bits of information together, but, ultimately, you are not seeing the entire multi-layered picture.

Never assume to know the ins and outs of another souls journey.  This must be respected and a person who is truly detached in love, knows this and let’s it be.  Even if this soul is someone very close to you.  Every soul that incarnates here has their own life lessons to learn in their own chosen way.

We all come into this life with freewill and the ability to choose what we want to experience, even if this means we make the wrong choices.  Sometimes this has to happen for you to learn and grow.

Some people don’t learn their lessons in time but you have to respect that souls journey and choices.  You are not responsible for any adult human being but yourself, all you can offer is your unconditional love (even if it is from afar) and your support when it is needed.

Judgment is never wise, always try to find the compassion in any situation.

2. Detaching out of Fear

The other form of detachment is that of letting go out of exhasperation.

You feel cornered and frustrated, so your reflex is to detach to protect yourself from further hurt.  This must not be mistaken for detaching out of love, which is heart centred. Detaching out of fear is a lower chakra energy.

“Going within is not easy but nothing of true importance ever really is.”

You may even be experiencing negative lower chakra symptoms such as constipation (not being able to let go) or stomach upsets (solar plexus signal of anxiety/worry).

If you feel that you are detaching out of fear, then it is best to go into it.  Give yourself some space and time to meditate.  See meditation blog HERE.

The worst thing you can do is carry on and sweep whatever is bothering you under the rug.  Going within is not easy but nothing of true importance ever really is.  You need to do this inner work to truly gain closure for yourself.  Without this closure you will not be ready to move on to the next stage of development.

Forgive

BeachedA lot of the time, people tend to hang on to their past hurts.  This is not self-serving.  To forgive another for something will not only affect that person positively (and if you don’t want them to be affected positively, this is another sign that you need to see the divine in others to be able to detach with love) but it will liberate you.

I have devoted a whole chapter in my book ‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ to forgiveness.  If you are having trouble with letting go then I suggest you read it.

Trust

So if you feel that you are clinging onto something or someone, isn’t it about time to let it go?

Trust that the Universe will cushion your fall into the void of unconditional love.  You are the only one responsible for holding yourself back.

What are you still holding on to that you cannot let go of?  

Are you able to see how detaching with love could be a viable solution?

Do you feel that you may be detaching out of fear?

‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ is now out at all leading bookstores worldwide — don’t forget to order your copy:

 You can follow me on Twitter and Facebook for daily inspiration and articles: