Letting Go For Your Own Good — Detaching Out Of Love

Posted on April 12, 2012 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

What is Detachment?

Detachment is letting go of worldly dramas and living in true peace.

To still be able to love your ‘neighbour’ unconditionally but to not get involved in any kind of drama whatsoever.

Every emotion you experience in this life is a choice. As soon as you feel resistance to someone or something or a pull to engage in conflict, you have re-entered the world of drama.

How can I truly Detach?

There are two different types of detachment, that I know of.

1. Detaching with Love

When you detach with love you have a feeling of being in exquisite peace with the world. You bear NO resentment, anger or aggression to anyone or anything. You are in a state of allowing and you are working with your heart centre.

“To detach with love means that you are in the understanding that there is always more than meets the eye to any given situation.”

When you work with your heart centre you see the divine in everyone and everything. You can see past the ‘drama’ of circumstances and situations. You can see right to the very core of conflict and feel compassion, even for those whose opinions and actions differ from yours severely.

To detach with love means that you are in the understanding that there is always more than meets the eye to any given situation.

“Never assume to know the ins and outs of another souls journey.”

You are only observing a surface reality to a much deeper library of events that have led up to this scenario. ‘Scenario’ in this case could be a life situation or even a certain person. You see, we have no clue as to another souls journey, you can make assumptions and piece certain bits of information together, but, ultimately, you are not seeing the entire multi-layered picture.

Never assume to know the ins and outs of another souls journey. This must be respected and a person who is truly detached in love, knows this and let’s it be. Even if this soul is someone very close to you. Every soul that incarnates here has their own life lessons to learn in their own chosen way.

We all come into this life with freewill and the ability to choose what we want to experience, even if this means we make the wrong choices. Sometimes this has to happen for you to learn and grow.

Some people don’t learn their lessons in time but you have to respect that souls journey and choices. You are not responsible for any adult human being but yourself, all you can offer is your unconditional love (even if it is from afar) and your support when it is needed.

Judgment is never wise, always try to find the compassion in any situation.

2. Detaching out of Fear

The other form of detachment is that of letting go out of exhasperation.

You feel cornered and frustrated, so your reflex is to detach to protect yourself from further hurt. This must not be mistaken for detaching out of love, which is heart centred. Detaching out of fear is a lower chakra energy.

“Going within is not easy but nothing of true importance ever really is.”

You may even be experiencing negative lower chakra symptoms such as constipation (not being able to let go) or stomach upsets (solar plexus signal of anxiety/worry).

If you feel that you are detaching out of fear, then it is best to go into it. Give yourself some space and time to meditate. See meditation blog HERE.

The worst thing you can do is carry on and sweep whatever is bothering you under the rug. Going within is not easy but nothing of true importance ever really is. You need to do this inner work to truly gain closure for yourself. Without this closure you will not be ready to move on to the next stage of development.

Forgive

A lot of the time, people tend to hang on to their past hurts. This is not self-serving. To forgive another for something will not only affect that person positively (and if you don’t want them to be affected positively, this is another sign that you need to see the divine in others to be able to detach with love) but it will liberate you.

I have devoted a whole chapter in my book ‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ to forgiveness. If you are having trouble with letting go then I suggest you read it.

Trust

So if you feel that you are clinging onto something or someone, isn’t it about time to let it go?

Trust that the Universe will cushion your fall into the void of unconditional love. You are the only one responsible for holding yourself back.

What are you still holding on to that you cannot let go of?

Are you able to see how detaching with love could be a viable solution?

Do you feel that you may be detaching out of fear?

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Don’t Let the World Get You Down!

Posted on April 5, 2012 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

How to be in the world but not of it

As things stand now, you are most likely reading this blog from a computer somewhere on planet earth. My marvelous skills of deduction are quite remarkable, I know.

We seem to all be in the same boat, paddling around in circles, paddling against the current or drifting out to sea. How can we be in this beautiful world but not let it get us down?

Let’s face it, there is a lot of stuff that can, and does, lower our spirits and dampen our whetted desire to be on this planet. But then, when we look around, we see that this planet is an exquisite paradise, filled with beauty, intrigue and adventure.

Why is it that life can be so damn tough when there is also so much fun to be had?

Heaven on Earth?

There is a simple truth to life. We can create heaven on earth but we can also create our own personal form of hell.

Our very thoughts and actions will determine which destination we end up in.

Are you living in fear? Meet Jack Soap…

When you live in fear you are perpetuating fear.

Let me give you an example. If Jack Soap listens to the news constantly on the radio (which primarily reports bad news and how terrible the world out there is, along with all there is to be fearful of), he will be in a conscious or even unconscious negative frame of mind. His preset to life will be tainted with a neuro-linguistic programming of doubt and fear.

You may even find that Jack has a preconceived idea that he should trust no-one. He may even not like to venture outside his own home, let alone comfort zone, for fear of being attacked. He may even cringe at the thought of an overseas holiday, he’ll think you mad if you were to suggest such nonsense, what with all the potential terrorists on-board planes these days!

Poor Jack may not even realize that there is a sunny and bright side to life. It is as if he could be living on a different planet to John.

Are you living in love? Meet John Doe…

Meet John Doe (yes, alright! I know my pseudonyms leave something to be desired). He enjoys listening to uplifting music rather than put on the news. He enjoys walks in the park and getting in touch with nature.

He sees the beauty that the world has to offer. He smiles at people as he walks along his path and they smile back. He is certain that there is goodness in everybody because that is his experience.

John is living in the world and enjoying it. He is not letting the world dictate his experience, he is dictating his own experience. He is detaching from potential drama because he knows he has the choice to only focus on the positive aspects of life.

When John does this he is in control, he is mapping out his destiny according to what he wants to manifest.

He is not a victim of circumstance and he is certainly not an unconscious creator.

Jack vs John

Jack, on the other hand, is in the world and of the world. He is getting trapped in the lower vibrational frequency of negativity and he is letting the world dictate his experience.

He is unconsciously creating an undesirable life. He may not even be aware that he can change this at any time if he so wishes.

Jack was blessed with freewill, just like John. Jack, however, can’t seem to see it. He can’t take responsibility for his life choices because he feels he hasn’t made them.

But he has.

Whether he chooses to accept that or not, he has made his bed and he is tossing and turning in it.

Can you see the message behind the metaphor? Be in the world not of it.

Freewill and Choice

Choose your experiences. Choose what you expose yourself to. Choose to engage in drama, or choose to love from afar and lend your support whilst creating strong, effective boundaries.

You do not have to get involved and bogged down in drama if you don’t want to. You can always help those in need but you can do it with detachment. This means that you can still help in this world but you are fully aware that it is not required that you get involved with a problem — most certainly not to the extent that it encapsulates you in drama.

Detachment

Detachment is not a word that describes the state of not caring. Quite the opposite. You care enough to help and you care enough about yourself to remain neutral.

Think of detachment like Switzerland — the neutral zone. You can lend a hand but you are not getting hooked into anything.

You can live in this world, enjoy it and be mindful of the ‘drama’ and/or the negative aspect of life. This will give you the freedom to pick and choose your experiences and know when to help and when to say no.

Do you feel that life is taking you for a ride? Or are you in the drivers seat of your experience? Share your stories…

Related Articles:

Are You Clinging on by Your Fingernails?

What Freddy Mercury Can Teach Us About Detachment

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Do You Lack Self-Worth When it Comes to Creativity?

Posted on January 17, 2012 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

“It may help to remember that in the cosmic design, pain is neutral. In the physical world, pain motivates us negatively, while pleasure motivates us positively. True freedom is letting go of our attachment to both. The best way to begin this process is developing a state of witness consciousness through practices such as meditation and mindful awareness.” ~ D. Chopra

This extract was taken out of the latest Deepak Chopra blog, please click on the link below to read the full article — it is definitely worth the read:

Balance. Heal. Transform. The Chopra Center Blog.

Hitting the Nail on the Head

I think that Dr Chopra really hit the nail on the head with the statement above. It is, synchronistically, a topic that I was just trying to convey to a friend of mine.

It is quite difficult to explain that one needs to disengage or detach from any perception of good or bad, that there only is.

Your mind has been trained to mentally label things or situations as either positive or negative. We can choose to view anything, as was mentioned in the above quotation, as a conscious witness. This means detaching from judgment and the need to apply a label.

“…any past trauma or early childhood inhibition could seriously stop you from trying a new venture.”

When you commit to any creative endeavour, one must clear the path, so to speak, of any loose debris that might be clouding your way. For instance, any past trauma or early childhood inhibition could seriously stop you from trying a new venture.

Do you feel unworthy?

The Self Worth Issue

Let me cut through all the BS and get straight down to the brass tacks here. Everyone is worthy. If you are not feeling self-worth then you have probably set yourself up with a life lesson(s) to experience this feeling.

“This means that you take responsibility for agreeing to whatever or whoever made you feel unworthy.”

Your job is to identify where, in your past, you first agreed to take on this role. This means that you take responsibility for agreeing to whatever or whoever made you feel unworthy (please read The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz for more about this very important subject of the agreements we make and how it affects our lives).

This may sound harsh but we must get real now or face the consequences of always feeling victimized. When you carry a victim mentality you will never feel that you can be self-empowered.

It Takes 2 to Tango

So, the first step is to take responsibility for your choices. And please do this with compassion for yourself and for whomever else may be involved. When we agree to take on a lesson, it usually takes two souls to tango.

“…it is so important for us to be able to forgive and to not judge.”

This means that there is usually a ‘bad guy’ (or gal) but if we could view this from a perspective that is beyond the veil of our current reality, we may find that the ‘bad guy’ is posing as such to help us fulfill a soul lesson on the deepest of levels. This is why it is so important for us to be able to forgive and to not judge.

When we are able to see, with clarity, the root point at which the conflict took place, we are able to glean the necessary teaching from it. When we are able to do this, we are able to forgive and move on in our lives.

Where has this teaching or lesson taken you?

What have you learnt from it?

Can you agree to accept the lesson with gratitude and move on?

Letting Go to Move On

If you can truly let go of a past trauma, you will feel the absolute liberation of taking back your power. When you accept responsibility for your actions and choices, you become self-empowered, knowing that nothing in this Universe happens by chance — you are at the very heart of every experience you have chosen.

Now to the Creativity Part…

When you commit to a creative project, whether it be in music, writing, art or any other form of creative expression, it is important to be grounded in your integrity.

“This is why it is important to face your demons and start a creative endeavour with a clean slate.”

If you are, say for instance, writing from a place of knowledge but lack the wisdom for which you write, you are lacking a certain portion of integrity. In other words, if you want to write about something that you know a lot about but have not actually experienced or passed the learning thereof, you are not coming from a place of true integrity. This is why it is important to face your demons and start a creative endeavour with a clean slate.

You can of course start anything without doing the groundwork but your success is usually stunted when you know you are not acting from true source. If you believe in yourself 100% there is nothing that will get in your way of true creativity or success.

To kick-start this day off, I am offering subscribers a FREE PDF copy of ‘Creative Expression — How to find Your Inspiration’ (CLICK HERE).

How to find your inspiration…copy of my book ‘Creative Expression — How to find your inspiration…’ HERE (or click on the book cover). Subscription to the site is 100% free, no hidden agendas — I only wish to share this book with you.

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How to Get and Maintain that Positive Attitude

Posted on October 20, 2011 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

Turning a Negative into a Positive

We all know about positive thinking and the Law of Attraction but do we really put it into practice?

I have so many friends who say they completely understand the Law of Attraction but I find these very same people asking me to join groups on Facebook with very negative connotations, such as ‘Stop Child Abuse’ or ‘Fight Cancer’ . They still don’t quite get it.

So how do you phrase with positivity then?

It does take some getting used to and it can be thought-provoking but it is possible. Mother Theresa said something very profound to demonstrate this premise, it went along the lines of: You’ll never see her at an Anti-War Rally but you will find her at a Pro-Peace Demonstration.

“When we harp on negative words or phrasing we are actually calling them into existence or perpetuating their existence…”

Let’s take the ‘Stop Child Abuse’ campaign, this can be rephrased as the ‘Love and Respect our Children’ or ‘Joyous Childhood’ campaign. ‘Fight Cancer’ can equate positively to ’Complete Physical Well-being”.

What Happens When we Focus on Negativity?

When we harp on negative words or phrasing we are actually calling them into existence or perpetuating their existence. Feeding the problem, making it recur over and over until we change our mindset.

Let’s try to think a little differently and see what a world of difference we make.

When I talk to most people about this they nearly always tell me that it is far to difficult to alter ones thoughts. It is not — it just takes time, awareness and patience.

How to Stop Negativity

The first step is to put your awareness on your thoughts and try to stop the negative ones in their tracks.

At first, some of these thoughts will slip through the cracks and you’ll find yourself in a fear induced state of panic of what might be or what has been and might happen again (isn’t this conducive to how most of us think?).

This is actually quite a normal state of mind in our society – one could even say a collective state of mind. Don’t give up on it though, with repetition things will change and you will find it easier and easier to stop your train of thought when you want to.

One by one you will slowly begin to eradicate these unproductive thought processes from you mind.

Patience is a Strong Virtue

Everything takes time and a bit of getting used to so the best is to be patient with yourself and gently usher in the new positive thought process.

Do not judge yourself if you fall of the track every now and again – you just pick yourself up and get back on track. Before you know it, you will be identifying negative thought patterns more and more easily and you will be able to alter the pattern to positivity.

“Just remember the ‘what if’s’ usually never ever happen anyway – how much time have we wasted on this?”

I know this for sure because I practice this and find it to be very effective. It has taken me almost a year to be at a point where I can change negative thoughts midstream and reverse it to a more positive scenario.

What if I Lapse?

Believe me, I also have my lapses but more often than not it can be stopped before one gets carried away in the stream of ‘what if’ scenarios.

I was very good at the ‘what if’ scenario – I’m sure we could all win Oscars for that but how about changing the ‘what if’ into a ‘what is’ because only what is happening now is of true importance. Just remember the ‘what if’s’ usually never ever happen anyway – how much time have we wasted on this? Read more about how to stop worrisome thoughts HERE.

Easier said than done? Most definitely, but anything of great importance is worth the persistence. Persist with this and, I promise you, you will reap the rewards of a clear and positive state of mind.

Positive thoughts can pull you out of the darkness.
Positive thoughts can heal a sick body.
Positive thoughts can help eliminate our biggest obstacle, fear.

You are in Control

Positivity will alter your perception of the world you live in – the choice is, and always will remain, with you.

You create your life experience, you are in control. What you see reflected in your life circumstance is what you have projected, consciously – or most of the time unconsciously. Be clear about this and move on to filtering your wants and don’t wants.

Live your best life – you can only do this when you take responsibility for your actions and thoughts. Take control of your life and truly live!

Have Your Say…

Are you a positive person or do you feel yourself slipping into the negative realms before you can stop it? Share your thoughts and experiences…I’d love to hear from you.

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