Letting Go For Your Own Good — Detaching Out Of Love


What is Detachment?

Detachment is letting go of worldly dramas and living in true peace.

To still be able to love your ‘neighbour’ unconditionally but to not get involved in any kind of drama whatsoever.

Every emotion you experience in this life is a choice.  As soon as you feel resistance to someone or something or a pull to engage in conflict, you have re-entered the world of drama.

How can I truly Detach?

There are two different types of detachment, that I know of.

1.  Detaching with Love

white poppyWhen you detach with love you have a feeling of being in exquisite peace with the world.  You bear NO resentment, anger or aggression to anyone or anything.  You are in a state of allowing and you are working with your heart centre.

“To detach with love means that you are in the understanding that there is always more than meets the eye to any given situation.”

When you work with your heart centre you see the divine in everyone and everything.  You can see past the ‘drama’ of circumstances and situations.  You can see right to the very core of conflict and feel compassion, even for those whose opinions and actions differ from yours severely.

To detach with love means that you are in the understanding that there is always more than meets the eye to any given situation.

“Never assume to know the ins and outs of another souls journey.”

You are only observing a surface reality to a much deeper library of events that have led up to this scenario.  ‘Scenario’ in this case could be a life situation or even a certain person.  You see, we have no clue as to another souls journey, you can make assumptions and piece certain bits of information together, but, ultimately, you are not seeing the entire multi-layered picture.

Never assume to know the ins and outs of another souls journey.  This must be respected and a person who is truly detached in love, knows this and let’s it be.  Even if this soul is someone very close to you.  Every soul that incarnates here has their own life lessons to learn in their own chosen way.

We all come into this life with freewill and the ability to choose what we want to experience, even if this means we make the wrong choices.  Sometimes this has to happen for you to learn and grow.

Some people don’t learn their lessons in time but you have to respect that souls journey and choices.  You are not responsible for any adult human being but yourself, all you can offer is your unconditional love (even if it is from afar) and your support when it is needed.

Judgment is never wise, always try to find the compassion in any situation.

2. Detaching out of Fear

The other form of detachment is that of letting go out of exhasperation.

You feel cornered and frustrated, so your reflex is to detach to protect yourself from further hurt.  This must not be mistaken for detaching out of love, which is heart centred. Detaching out of fear is a lower chakra energy.

“Going within is not easy but nothing of true importance ever really is.”

You may even be experiencing negative lower chakra symptoms such as constipation (not being able to let go) or stomach upsets (solar plexus signal of anxiety/worry).

If you feel that you are detaching out of fear, then it is best to go into it.  Give yourself some space and time to meditate.  See meditation blog HERE.

The worst thing you can do is carry on and sweep whatever is bothering you under the rug.  Going within is not easy but nothing of true importance ever really is.  You need to do this inner work to truly gain closure for yourself.  Without this closure you will not be ready to move on to the next stage of development.


BeachedA lot of the time, people tend to hang on to their past hurts.  This is not self-serving.  To forgive another for something will not only affect that person positively (and if you don’t want them to be affected positively, this is another sign that you need to see the divine in others to be able to detach with love) but it will liberate you.

I have devoted a whole chapter in my book ‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ to forgiveness.  If you are having trouble with letting go then I suggest you read it.


So if you feel that you are clinging onto something or someone, isn’t it about time to let it go?

Trust that the Universe will cushion your fall into the void of unconditional love.  You are the only one responsible for holding yourself back.

What are you still holding on to that you cannot let go of?  

Are you able to see how detaching with love could be a viable solution?

Do you feel that you may be detaching out of fear?

‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ is now out at all leading bookstores worldwide — don’t forget to order your copy:

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20 thoughts on “Letting Go For Your Own Good — Detaching Out Of Love

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  3. Thank you for sharing this with me. It’s exactly what I needed to read. I do feel compassion for the person and my heart goes out to them but I had to detach.


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  11. Wow. I am only 1/2 way through this article and I can’t read through my tears. 🙂 Thank you Cherie. sincerely. This is it exactly! It is so interesting to me that we read things and know things but it is a CONSTANT practice. Thank you so much for sending me this link! I needed it and it helps so much. Thank you so very much.


    • It’s my pleasure — I’m so glad that it helped, Kristina. You are so right, we do need to put these spiritual concepts into daily practice and it can be hard. But, I suppose, having that awareness makes it easier to deal with. It’s better than being in the dark. xxx


  12. Hi Cherie. This was great to read. I absolutely agree that we can never know another person’s soul journey and see the big picture of it. My experience with detaching out of love or fear is that as much as I have sometimes wanted to detach out of love because that would have been the ideal thing, I detached out of fear so that I didn’t get sucked into 3D drama. I can see when I look back at how things fit together that I did the right thing in detaching out of fear to keep my soul integrity. It was not ideal, but it was an act of self love so I didn’t get lost in pleasing other peoples’ egos just to be and feel accepted


    • Hi Camilla, glad you enjoyed it. The best thing you can do if you have detached out of fear, is to now send that person your love in order to transmute the fear. It will give an energetic completion to the interaction. Sometimes, like you say, we have to do this in order to protect ourselves and set strong, firm boundaries. xxx


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