Tag Archives: letting go

How to Avoid Misunderstanding Forgiveness

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Forgiveness

To Forgive is Divine

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr. 

The topic of forgiveness harbors much resistance in some — it’s a touchy subject to say the least. The biggest misunderstanding — in the act of forgiveness — is to think that you are condoning the action, whatever it may be.

Forgiveness is actually letting go of the act not necessarily forgetting it (you may need to remember the experience later on in life so as not to be burnt again).

In letting go of the action taken against you, you free yourself from it from this moment on — you no longer carry the weight. You lighten yourself of the burden of holding onto it and give yourself permission to start anew.

Looking Deeper

This doesn’t mean that you have to be bosom-buddies with the perpetrator (you may choose to cut them out of your life completely, which may be completely appropriate in your given circumstance) nor does it mean that you indemnify their actions — it simply means you have compassion for the person. You have empathized enough to have understanding as to why the action took place.

An example would be that an abuser may have been abused — this will be your chance to step into the shoes of the ‘villain’ (who was the ‘victim’) and to see the course of events that lead to the ‘act’. You may grapple with the fact that some abuse victims don’t ever become abusers — that abusers choose their course of action. This is true — our lives revolve around choice. However, the course of action (in the case of the incident having already taken place) is set and all you can do is have compassion for the individual who, should we say, strayed from the path. When you can do this, it is easier to practice forgiveness.

“Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness.” ~ Marianne Williamson

Forgiveness = compassion and understanding.

Forgiveness does not mean condoning or forcing yourself to see the person as ‘innocent’ or the actions carried out as okay.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” ~Lewis B. Smedes 

Other articles on forgiveness you may enjoy: How to Forgive When You Don’t Think You Can and Release Your Resistance Through the Power of Forgiveness

CRDCherie Roe Dirksen is a self-empowerment author, multi-media artist and musician from South Africa.

To date, she has published 3 self-help and motivational books and brings out weekly inspirational blogs at her site www.cherieroedirksen.com. Get stuck into finding your passion, purpose and joy by downloading some of those books gratis when you click HERE.

Her ambition is to help you to connect with your innate gift of creativity and living the life you came here to experience by taking responsibility for your actions and becoming the co-creator of your reality. You can follow Cherie on Facebook (The Art of Empowerment — for article updates). She also has an official art Facebook page (Cherie Roe Dirksen – for new art updates) and her bands page is Templeton Universe.

Cherie posts a new article on CLN every Thursday. To view her articles, click HERE.

This article (How to Avoid Misunderstanding Forgiveness) was originally written for and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to the author Cherie Roe Dirksen and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons statement.

What Freddy Mercury Can Teach Us About Detachment

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Guest article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Lightworkers World

‘Nothing really matters, anyone can see…nothing really matters.  Nothing really matters to me…any way the wind blows.” – Freddy Mercury (Bohemian Rhapsody)

Freddie Mercury What Freddy Mercury Can Teach Us About Detachment

Beautifully put!

Thank you, Freddy Mercury, for writing this poetic piece of universal truth and to Queen for adding the sound vibration and bringing this song alive through Bohemian Rhapsody.

Why am I quoting this?

Well, I was singing it the other day when it hit me, ‘this is quite spiritually profound’.

Mastery Over Matter

I have been going through a lot of detachment lately — on many different levels.  From friendships to career choices, desired outcomes to ego battles and the one thing that keeps coming up for me is ‘nothing matters’.

The energy of late seems to be circling around your ability to regroup and ground yourself to what is really important.

No material thing or situation should concern you too much — the lighter the baggage on your earthly sojourn, the less for you to carry (this should be taken literally and metaphorically).  The more at peace you are with the fact that you are here temporarily and no thing or person is a constant, the more likely you are to enjoy your experience.

Now, as I say in my book ‘Divine You’, I don’t mean that nothing matters in an ‘I don’t care’ sort of way.  The art of detaching is just another tool to let you be in the world and not of it.  Question yourself:

  • Can you be here, in this reality, but not be attached to it?
  •  Can you dream up desires and outcomes for yourself and not be attached to them if they change or do not materialize as you may have wanted them to?
  •  Can you detach yourself from drama — be it on a social network, in the office or with your family or friends?
  •  Can you look at circumstances as if you were hovering above them?  An observer, one that is removed from any outcome but still revels in the joys and intrigue of the world.
  • Can you be someone that cares and loves everyone and everything but could leave this plane of existence tomorrow?
  • Are you afraid of death?  Or have you made peace with your multi-dimensional, infinite existence?

Who are You?

This is the I AM THAT I AM  that people talk about.  Being 100% satisfied with where you are and who you are, without needing anyone or anything outside of yourself for gratification.

Loving enough to know when to say nothing, or do nothing, to help a loved one.  When you are able to detach from drama, you will show others that it can be done.  Peace is achievable — one soul at a time.

Do You Find it Difficult to Detach?

pensive What Freddy Mercury Can Teach Us About DetachmentDetachment is not hard or cold.  It is your ability to love enough to leave a bit of space — some room for peace and stillness where there may be none.  You will be that still presence that can ground those around you into the present moment.

What is blocking your ability to let go?

  • Your mind or ego?  Do you perhaps get a kick out of drama?  Can you admit to that?
  • Your ‘worries’?  Do you think that to detach would leave you looking like you don’t care?

Remember that to detach is a loving act.  If you stress or worry about what other people will think of you for detaching or not getting involved in drama, then you need to work on why their opinions matter.  If they are close to you, either friends or family, you can still let them know you care but are not going to interfere with their lives.

If there is something tangible you can do to help, then by all means do but remain that still presence and have an awareness of your emotional body.  If you feel like you are being drained or getting sucked back into 3D drama, then you need to exercise detachment again (for further reading about detaching out of love or fear, click here: https://cherieroedirksen.com/2012/04/12/are-you-clinging-by-your-finger-nails/).

Let’s Wrap This Up

Tracy by the pond 250x166 What Freddy Mercury Can Teach Us About DetachmentWhen you realize that no-thing really matters, you can bend like a reed in the wind and go any way the wind blows.You remain whole and unfaltering, present and aware — you are impartial and just.  This is true detachment.

Thank you, Queen.

Other articles you may enjoy:

8 Life Strategies That Playing Chess Has Taught Me

Song Playlist — Radiohead Albums That Made The Art

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What I Listened To…

As promised in last weeks blog, I will reveal today the albums I listened to during the creation of ‘Escapism’.  If you have been following this Rock Art Series blog then great, if not you can recap by starting here.

“As we were walking and talking about this I caught a glimpse of my companions face under the hood — yes ladies and gentlemen, it was a very young and blonde Thom Yorke …”

In no particular order, they were:

Some of my favourite songs at the moment are ‘Lotus Flower’ (fan-blooming-tastic video!), ’15 Steps’, ‘Little by Little’ and ‘Bodysnatchers’.  I have also had the great honour of seeing them live in London on their ‘Hail to the Thief’ album tour in 2003 — what an experience!

I unfortunately did not have enough time to listen to ALL their albums (as I would have so loved to have done), so what I listened to in the above track-list must have been relevant in some way to the picture.  I just went with the flow and stopped when I felt it necessary.  I like to think that everything has a quantum reason for taking place, which brings me to my dream…

Bloody Weird or Maybe Not!

I had a dream a few days ago about the painting.

I was walking with a hooded figure who was discussing the painting and linking it to the root chakra (what I like to call the poop chakra ’cause you usually associate that one with letting go of the crap).  For those of you who don’t know, the root chakra is associated with your anus.

‘Escapism’ by Cherie Roe Dirksen (below)

As we were walking and talking about this I caught a glimpse of my companions face under the hood — yes ladies and gentlemen, it was a very young and blonde Thom Yorke (the ‘Pablo Honey’ days look).

We then stopped at the painting and he said that it had a coded message in it, one that I subconsciously painted into the picture and it had to do with letting go.  Particularly for parents of daughters who were finding it hard to ‘let them go’.

Interesting…it’s like one of those ridiculous stories from Ripley’s ‘believe it or not’…lol.  Or maybe not.  I have witnessed and experienced enough hoodoo lately to make this just a drop in my ocean of the weird and inexplicable.

So if the dream is true — great!  If not, well…‘nice dream’...he he.

Emotions While Painting

Okay, I jotted down a few things that were coming up for me or going through my mind as I was painting.  I’m going to list it in point-form so you can better understand the end result of the painting:

  • Other worldly/out of this world
  • Expressing and experiencing emotional pain and anguish
  • Also experiencing pleasure
  • Loss and frustration
  • Chaotic sound that blends into perfect harmony/order
  • Orgasmic sounds in the mix and off-beats
  • Being unconventional/out-of-the-box living
  • Being different and yet fitting in anyway
  • A celebration of being different

I absolutely love their production and orchestration of complete chaos and bizarre beats that amalgamate to produce the tastiest, funkiest songs I have had the pleasure to bathe my ears in.

To end of with:  My husband and I (yes, I sound like the queen) went to see a horror movie over the weekend and the ticket man said ‘Why are you going to see such a creepy movie?’,  to which I solemnly replied, ‘We are creepy people’.

I am proud to be different and, thanks to Radiohead, we can proudly display the creep within.

Do You Lack Self-Worth When it Comes to Creativity?

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“It may help to remember that in the cosmic design, pain is neutral. In the physical world, pain motivates us negatively, while pleasure motivates us positively. True freedom is letting go of our attachment to both. The best way to begin this process is developing a state of witness consciousness through practices such as meditation and mindful awareness.” ~ D. Chopra

This extract was taken out of the latest Deepak Chopra blog, please click on the link below to read the full article — it is definitely worth the read:

Balance. Heal. Transform. The Chopra Center Blog.

Hitting the Nail on the Head

I think that Dr Chopra really hit the nail on the head with the statement above.  It is, synchronistically, a topic that I was just trying to convey to a friend of mine.

It is quite difficult to explain that one needs to disengage or detach from any perception of good or bad, that there only is.

Your mind has been trained to mentally label things or situations as either positive or negative.  We can choose to view anything, as was mentioned in the above quotation, as a conscious witness.  This means detaching from judgment and the need to apply a label.

“…any past trauma or early childhood inhibition could seriously stop you from trying a new venture.”

When you commit to any creative endeavour, one must clear the path, so to speak, of any loose debris that might be clouding your way.  For instance, any past trauma or early childhood inhibition could seriously stop you from trying a new venture.

Do you feel unworthy?

The Self Worth Issue

Let me cut through all the BS and get straight down to the brass tacks here.  Everyone is worthy.  If you are not feeling self-worth then you have probably set yourself up with a life lesson(s) to experience this feeling.

“This means that you take responsibility for agreeing to whatever or whoever made you feel unworthy.”

Your job is to identify where, in your past, you first agreed to take on this role.  This means that you take responsibility for agreeing to whatever or whoever made you feel unworthy (please read The 4 Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz for more about this very important subject of the agreements we make and how it affects our lives).

This may sound harsh but we must get real now or face the consequences of always feeling victimized.  When you carry a victim mentality you will never feel that you can be self-empowered.

It Takes 2 to Tango

So, the first step is to take responsibility for your choices.  And please do this with compassion for yourself and for whomever else may be involved.  When we agree to take on a lesson, it usually takes two souls to tango.

“…it is so important for us to be able to forgive and to not judge.”

This means that there is usually a ‘bad guy’ (or gal) but if we could view this from a perspective that is beyond the veil of our current reality, we may find that the ‘bad guy’ is posing as such to help us fulfill a soul lesson on the deepest of levels.  This is why it is so important for us to be able to forgive and to not judge.

When we are able to see, with clarity, the root point at which the conflict took place, we are able to glean the necessary teaching from it.  When we are able to do this, we are able to forgive and move on in our lives.

Where has this teaching or lesson taken you?

What have you learnt from it?

Can you agree to accept the lesson with gratitude and move on?

Letting Go to Move On

If you can truly let go of a past trauma, you will feel the absolute liberation of taking back your power.  When you accept responsibility for your actions and choices, you become self-empowered, knowing that nothing in this Universe happens by chance — you are at the very heart of every experience you have chosen.

Now to the Creativity Part…

When you commit to a creative project, whether it be in music, writing, art or any other form of creative expression, it is important to be grounded in your integrity.

“This is why it is important to face your demons and start a creative endeavour with a clean slate.”

If you are, say for instance, writing from a place of knowledge but lack the wisdom for which you write, you are lacking a certain portion of integrity.  In other words, if you want to write about something that you know a lot about but have not actually experienced or passed the learning thereof, you are not coming from a place of true integrity.  This is why it is important to face your demons and start a creative endeavour with a clean slate.

You can of course start anything without doing the groundwork but your success is usually stunted when you know you are not acting from true source.  If you believe in yourself 100% there is nothing that will get in your way of true creativity or success.

To kick-start this day off, I am offering subscribers a FREE PDF copy of ‘Creative Expression — How to find Your Inspiration’ (CLICK HERE).

How to find your inspiration…copy of my book ‘Creative Expression — How to find your inspiration…’ HERE (or click on the book cover).  Subscription to the site is 100% free, no hidden agendas — I only wish to share this book with you.

If you would like to order the paperback version of this book, you can do that HERE.

The Baboon and The Butter — Part 2

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Read Part 1 HERE

Carnage!

More baboons had slipped inside my house as I was pursuing my perpetrators. This time I grabbed the garden hose, turned it on and ran into my front door ‘guns blazing’.

Another Interesting Fact About Baboons…

Baboons don’t like getting sprayed with water ( a small God send). They took one look at the hose pipe and made a run for it without me even having to start spraying. Relief! I ran around my house making sure the windows were all closed so that no more monkey business could ensue.

The Big Clean Up!

To cut a long story short, my house was in a shambles. They had trashed my kitchen. If I hadn’t been so adamant to retrieve my butter I would have saved myself a lot of money and trouble.

After cleaning up the mess (which took me close to an hour), I sat on my couch head in hands, just thinking about the pandemonium that had just taken place. I saw several blatant lessons in what had just happened…

“…this day showed me that even a tub of butter could spark off a suppressed ego…” 

The moral to this story for me was the realisation that I am still attached to ‘things’. I thought I had conquered my worldly attachment in my pursuit of spiritual enlightenment. But this day showed me that even a tub of butter could spark off a suppressed ego — this was certainly food for my thought.

A Lesson Learned…

We can all fall off the bandwagon but the real lesson is to get back on. I learnt that it was alright to lapse and make mistakes (even if this did mean chasing a wild animal without fear of consequence and putting myself in very real danger). The key is to see and be aware of the lapse and to make every effort to not let it happen again or even just to laugh at it when it does.

So let go of material attachments as everything is unstable and situations are changing constantly.  I felt that I had paid good, hard-earned money for that butter and it was mine!  But what was even more precious than something I bought at the store was my life.  I put myself in danger  over a petty ‘issue’ that I constructed in my mind and followed through on and I hope that never happens again.

Sometimes we need to detach from these ‘worldly’ things — after all, we are free spirits and should remain that way.

Free from rigidity.
Free from fear.
Free to live.

Free to choose.

I took the above photographs on the ‘Baboon Walk’ I did.