“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.”
Forgive and Let Go
You may already be aware that to forgive another person does not condone their actions but frees you from bondage.
When you hold a grudge, you inadvertently hold yourself in a head-lock with the other person until you can forgive. So, without releasing that person through the process of forgiveness, you tether yourself to him/her/them indefinitely.
If that’s not encouragement enough to start the process of forgiveness then I don’t know what is.
However, what I want to explore in this article is self-forgiveness. A topic that can easily be misunderstood, brushed aside or not even thought of.
Surely it’s those people in our lives that have done us wrong that need our forgiveness, not ourselves?
Why You Can Be Your Worst Enemy
Funny thing is, a lot of us find it much easier to forgive others than to turn the action inwards.
It’s so much simpler to have the heart to exonerate another but we go into a flat tailspin when we start to dive into the watery abyss of all the things we’ve done to ourselves that need absolution.
You know what I mean, don’t you?
We have done so much harm to ourselves through:
- Negative Self Talk
- Missed Opportunities
- Disrespecting Ourselves and Others (whatever harm you have done to another is a direct blow to yourself — there is no separation)
- Lack of Willpower and the list goes on…
Have you forgiven yourself these indiscretions?
Steps You Can Take Today to Start the Healing Process
Do you know that we each have a shadow self? A part of us that feels unworthy, guilt and shame. Do you squash this part of yourself every time it pops up to say ‘Yo!’?
You’re not alone.
First things first — we are dichotomous by nature. We live in a third dimension of duality and we experience the yin and yang, light and dark, feminine and masculine, good and evil aspects of everyday life…well…every day!
You can’t truly be a human being if you are not experiencing these dualistic traits on a daily basis.
And there is your gold! We are ALL human — we ALL make mistakes. Goodness me, if we were all to carry the blame and shame on our backs as a physical representation of how we feel about ourselves, we would all be seriously misshapen.
Isn’t it about time to embrace your duality in order to truly feel whole?
Here’s what you can do to start making peace with your faux pas’:
- Know that you are required to make mistakes in order to grow, learn and have a contrast with which to work from (i.e. how would you know what you want if you don’t experience what you don’t want?). Affirm: I forgive myself for making mistakes and give myself permission to live to my best ability even if it means making more blunders.
- Cut yourself some slack — to err is human, to forgive is divine and seeing you are both, I think you have permission to accept your mistakes and find the hidden gems within your ‘unworthy’ experiences. Affirm: I forgive myself and will look for the positive aspects of my seemingly negative actions and where they have brought me on my life path.
- Put the whip aside! We are all guilty, I’m sure, of being an asshole at some point in our lives — it doesn’t mean you have to flay yourself for your lack of good judgment over and over again. Be kind to yourself as you would any other. Affirm: I forgive myself and will not, from this point in time, rehash past mistakes to punish myself further. I am whole. I am human. I am Divine. I am.
You are proving your worth when you’ve tripped just by picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and carrying on down that yellow-brick road. Be kind to yourself when you stumble and know that there is always a lesson in the fall.
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
The true warrior always mines the mistakes for the treasures and let’s him/herself be at peace with making miscalculations. This is divine balance and the acceptance of every aspect of the self.
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