3 Vital Steps to Forgiveness and Self Acceptance

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.”
Bernard Meltzer 

Forgive and Let Go

You may already be aware that to forgive another person does not condone their actions but frees you from bondage.

When you hold a grudge, you inadvertently hold yourself in a head-lock with the other person until you can forgive.  So, without releasing that person through the process of forgiveness, you tether yourself to him/her/them indefinitely.

If that’s not encouragement enough to start the process of forgiveness then I don’t know what is.

However, what I want to explore in this article is self-forgiveness.  A topic that can easily be misunderstood, brushed aside or not even thought of.

Surely it’s those people in our lives that have done us wrong that need our forgiveness, not ourselves?

Why You Can Be Your Worst Enemy

Funny thing is, a lot of us find it much easier to forgive others than to turn the action inwards.

It’s so much simpler to have the heart to exonerate another but we go into a flat tailspin when we start to dive into the watery abyss of all the things we’ve done to ourselves that need absolution.

You know what I mean, don’t you?

We have done so much harm to ourselves through:

  • Negative Self Talk
  • Missed Opportunities
  • Laziness
  • Fear
  • Stubbornness
  • Disrespecting Ourselves and Others (whatever harm you have done to another is a direct blow to yourself — there is no separation)
  • Lack of Willpower and the list goes on…

Have you forgiven yourself these indiscretions?

Steps You Can Take Today to Start the Healing Process

Do you know that we each have a shadow self?  A part of us that feels unworthy, guilt and shame.  Do you squash this part of yourself every time it pops up to say ‘Yo!’?

You’re not alone.

First things first — we are dichotomous by nature.  We live in a third dimension of duality and we experience the yin and yang, light and dark, feminine and masculine, good and evil aspects of everyday life…well…every day!

You can’t truly be a human being if you are not experiencing these dualistic traits on a daily basis.

And there is your gold!  We are ALL human — we ALL make mistakes.  Goodness me, if we were all to carry the blame and shame on our backs as a physical representation of how we feel about ourselves, we would all be seriously misshapen.

Isn’t it about time to embrace your duality in order to truly feel whole?

Here’s what you can do to start making peace with your faux pas’:

  • Know that you are required to make mistakes in order to grow, learn and have a contrast with which to work from (i.e. how would you know what you want if you don’t experience what you don’t want?).  Affirm:  I forgive myself for making mistakes and give myself permission to live to my best ability even if it means making more blunders.
  • Cut yourself some slack — to err is human, to forgive is divine and seeing you are both, I think you have permission to accept your mistakes and find the hidden gems within your ‘unworthy’ experiences.  Affirm:  I forgive myself and will look for the positive aspects of my seemingly negative actions and where they have brought me on my life path. 
  • Put the whip aside!  We are all guilty, I’m sure, of being an asshole at some point in our lives — it doesn’t mean you have to flay yourself for your lack of good judgment over and over again.  Be kind to yourself as you would any other.  Affirm:  I forgive myself and will not, from this point in time, rehash past mistakes to punish myself further.  I am whole.  I am human.  I am Divine.  I am.

You are proving your worth when you’ve tripped just by picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and carrying on down that yellow-brick road.  Be kind to yourself when you stumble and know that there is always a lesson in the fall.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
Mark Twain 

The true warrior always mines the mistakes for the treasures and let’s him/herself be at peace with making miscalculations.  This is divine balance and the acceptance of every aspect of the self.

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Rekindling the Human Spirit with Lemons

Lemon Header

When Life Gives You Lemons…

I would like to give you a recipe for the best darn lemonade ever — it’s about community, asking, giving and thriving.

4 years ago I moved to a remote little village in the klein Karoo, South Africa. I soon learnt that there was a really great switched on bunch of people staying here (with exception to the local loons, drama queens and negative nellies — if you’ve ever had a taste of remote country living, you’ll know what I mean).

I soon felt very at home in this quaint little outback town.

Recently I started my very own ‘Power of 8’ meditation group — the original concept brought to us by Lynne McTaggart (read more here:Are You Ready For Peace? Join Lynne McTaggart For the Largest Group Intention in the History of Mankind!).

We meet once a month and each member gets a turn to set an intention (which could be to lower the crime in the village, sending healing energy to abundance for all — the sky is the limit and we’ve been fairly successful!).

Our meetings bring much joy to us all and we have a safe place to discuss things that are a little ‘off the wall’. There is a sense of trust and sisterhood/brotherhood.

Yes Cherie, but what about the lemonade?

Hang on a tick…

The Secret Ingredient

After one of these meetings, I decided to pour myself a glass of lemon water.

I suddenly realized I had forgotten to get lemon juice from the store. I decided to put out a distress call to my neighbourhood whatsapp group (btw — I strongly suggest you create a neighbourhood whatsapp group, it’s really useful as long as you keep it light and friendly) asking if anyone perhaps had a lemon tree and lemons to sell me — cause, frankly, why not?

SUBSCRIBE icon 1Within an hour I had a BIG bag of the juiciest, organic lemons from my neighbour a couple of houses up. She wouldn’t even hear of accepting payment for them. It was a good thing I had just celebrated my birthday and had brought her a couple of pieces of chocolate cake to compensate for such anticipated generosity!

She reminded me that I gave her apricots last season from my overburdened tree to which I replied that she was always more than welcome every season to come and fill a box.

She said I was welcome to her lemons any time.

I feel all warm and fuzzy inside as I’m writing this ’cause this is just the life, isn’t it — straight out of a Waltons episode!

Living the Dream

It’s what I’ve always wanted — a sense of true community. It overwhelms me how generous and delightful people can be in a world where everything seems to be collapsing in chaos and tumult, we can actually take back control by looking out for each other.

We have the power to create community wherever we are.

The ingredient to making the best lemonade on the planet is to reach out to people on your doorstep. The only positive change we can be sure of creating is the way we live, communicate with and help each other out from the small things to the larger things — to respect each others differences and to look out for each other.

If everyone can do this and create peace neighbourhood by neighbourhood — we most certainly will have the ability to thrive.

You can now hear Cherie Roe Dirksen on Big Indie Giant radio as she reads out select articles on air.
She also gives weekly news headline updates taken directly from the Conscious Life News site, so be sure to tune in.

Cherie Roe Dirksen is a self-empowerment author/columnist/radio presenter, multi-media artist and musician from South Africa.

To date, she has published 3 self-help and motivational books and brings out weekly inspirational blogs at her site www.cherieroedirksen.com. Get stuck into finding your passion, purpose and joy by downloading some of those books gratis when you click HERE.

Her ambition is to help you to connect with your innate gift of creativity and living the life you came here to experience by taking responsibility for your actions and becoming the co-creator of your reality. You can follow Cherie on Facebook(The Art of Empowerment — for article updates). She has an official art Facebook page (Cherie Roe Dirksen – for new art updates). You can also check out her Facebook band page at Templeton Universe.

Cherie posts a new article on CLN every Thursday. To view her articles, click HERE.

This article (Rekindling the Human Spirit with Lemons) was originally written for and published by Conscious Life News and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to the author Cherie Roe Dirksen and ConsciousLifeNews.com. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this Copyright/Creative Commons.

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