Do You Make This 1 Detrimental Mistake?

Posted on February 20, 2013 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

Adrift in a Sea of Bad News?

“I just don’t deal with the negativity. I can’t get involved in that side of it. I don’t understand it, and you can’t let it take away from your life and what you are trying to do.” — Rick Pitino

I read an article that stated ‘negativity sells’. How sad. Yes it does, we are all aware of that but we don’t necessarily like it.

Don’t you sometimes feel alone or like you are farting against thunder, trying to keep your spirits high or encouraging the positivity in others only to have the media and various other sources spit negativity out at you at an alarming rate?

I sure do.

Buried Under the Rubble

The influx of devastating news from the media to the sick pictures being posted recently on Facebook showcasing animal cruelty and the likes are but a few of what we’ve been bombarded with lately.

If you don’t have these social networking sites then lucky you! You’ve just saved yourself some deep trauma.

Yes, negativity does seem to sell but we can change that by focusing our attention on solving the problems not feeding them.

The one mistake most people make is perpetuating the negativity by spreading it, thinking that they are doing good but what they are really doing is helping the offenders to spread their base filth even faster.

I know the kind of people who share this type of bad news/pictures are only trying to spread awareness, their hearts are in the right place but there are other ways of helping out that I will address below.

But before I go into that, I want to bring up another hot issue.

Teenage Dreams Turning into Teenage Nightmares

Sharing these gruesome pictures on Facebook is perpetuating the problem by offering these perpetrators notoriety for their acts (which is one of the reasons why I believe they do it).

The growing need that a select few teenagers have to become ‘famous’ is resulting in them trying anything for their 15 minutes of glory — seemingly, no matter how heinous that publicity might be.

So, what should be done about it?

What can be done is:

report it directly to the police (put up the photo on a bulletin board at the police station rather than on innocent bystanders cyber walls),
report it to your local activist group (pertaining to the content),
send the perpetrators love (yes, it is difficult but you will not solve anything with your hatred — look at the last few thousand years of earth history to see where that gets you. Try something different),
send the victims love,
if you can, donate your time or money to a cause near you (if it is a crime against animals — donate to your local shelter, if it is a crime against women/children — donate to your local care center)

These are practical ways to make a stand.

I agree that awareness will change problems but we must be discerning in how that awareness is carried out.

Are You Helping or Hindering?

“Negativity doesn’t help me.”
— David Ortiz

If you can answer yes to these questions, you may be doing more harm than good. Are you:

working yourself up into a frenzy or state of anger over the issue?
causing anyone distress with what you are doing?
telling yourself that it is necessary for people to see violent images to get them to stand up and take notice?

Rather ask yourself what you could do in a calm, dignified manner to help the situation.

Let’s take a quick look at the possible causes behind these actions.

Where the Trail Leads

TV reality shows pump out mindless garbage like ‘The Kardashians’ and ‘Jerseylicious’ (to name but a few) and the youth lap it up thinking that this is the key to success. That through debaucherous actions they will get the attention they crave.

Get your own reality show.
Do something outrageous and get noticed.

It’s up to us to help educate and steer these youngsters in the right direction. Coming up against it in sheer fury will fuel the fire causing an inferno, we need to address the misinformation they are being fed.

Okay, I’ve veered off the topic a tad here. This was meant to be shining a light on how to keep your head held high when you are being suffocated by lower vibration twaddle.

Anchors Aweigh!

What can you do to keep your head above water?

Navigation.

All hands on deck, Captain! Navigate your way out of it.

How? By doing what you can in a positive and uplifting manner. If there is nothing you can do, pray and send love and compassion.

We’ve just celebrated St. Valentines Day last week, a day for expressing love. Let’s not stop the day after — let’s keep that love-ball rolling and spread it far and wide.

Keep love alive and you will be able to more easily slip out of the stream of negativity when it arises.

Here are some articles to help you to stay positive:

How to Get and Maintain that Positive Attitude
7 Proven Tactics to Spread Joy Around the World
A Practical Guide to Feeling Good

If you feel this has resonated with you and have someone in mind whilst you were reading, please do feel free to share. 🙂

This world will change but the seeds need to be sown first — be that seed planter!

On that note, here is a free computer wallpaper quote to encourage those positive vibes:

To download, click on picture — right-click and ‘save as’ to your computer. Use as desktop wallpaper or mini printable posters for around your home or office. You may share this on social networks as long as it is not altered in any way, thank you.

The above picture is taken from my painting ‘Early Morning Fishermen’ and is available as prints/posters/cards HERE.

Take The Test — Are You a Slave to Social Networking?

Posted on December 4, 2012 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

This is not going to be an article bashing social networking or shouting from the rooftops that it’s from the devil. No, I find it an extremely helpful, if not detrimental, modern-day tool. I utilize it socially — to stay in touch with friends and family — and I use it for my business.

Social networking is a great device for spreading information and touching base. However, it can also be abused.

All too often I see people with their noses stuck to their iPods, even when they are publicly with someone else. Does anyone else find this extremely rude?

What is it that keeps the populace stuck to other people’s dramas or, in some case, tedious actions? Are we craving attention? Is it the need to feel connected? Is it that ugly ego rearing its head and wanting to be seen or to compare?

I feel these actions can inadvertantly drain our inspiration and drive. However, if used properly, they can be great tools of motivation and new ideas.

Let’s Get Real

I think we will all have different reasons for using social networking but if you are finding it hard to keep those nimble thumbs off your key-pad, then let’s dive into a bit of introspection — answer these questions honestly:

Control – do you have command over how much time you spend on social networks such as facebook or twitter, or does it have an irrepressible hold on you?
Breaks — can you go without it for a long period of time and not be bothered? Have you ever tested yourself on this?
Loss — do you feel disconnected if you don’t ‘plug in’? Are you just itching to be updated again? Are you feeling like you are missing out on something?
Time – how many moments do you waste scouring news feeds only to find that 2 hours have passed and you have not really found anything of true value?
Question — how are you using it? Is it benefitting you in some way? Or is it serving as a distraction? Or both?
Limits — can you set yourself boundaries and time limits?
Trimming —Hone down who and what you give your energy to. Are you wasting a lot of time on engaging in a drama that really doesn’t involve you? Are you helping or fueling the situation? Or are you just filling empty space?
Clarity — are you using facebook for friends and people you actually know? Or do you befriend any Tom, Dick and Harry that requests your precious time? Get clear about which social networks are for what. In other words, use facebook or twitter to stay in touch with interesting people, friends and family and sites like LinkedIn and facebook business pages for your associates, promotions and dealings. Be clear about the reason you are using these sites and don’t just give your time away willy-nilly.
Allocations — assign specific times to go on for personal and business use and be liable for those periods — keep to that schedule.

Rudeness Concealed as ‘The Norm’

At all costs avoid whipping out your iPad in real conversation with bona fide friends and colleagues – nobody appreciates this and you may end up losing a tangible friend or business deal for one moment of digital gratification.

The friends who are willing to meet up with you in the flesh are the ones that will be there for you when you need them. Give them your undivided attention and respect.

If someone has taken time out to be with you, they should take precedence over any electronic device that is beeping for your attention — learn to turn it off if it’s a distraction.

Take the Test

If you find that social networking is controlling you and you can’t let go, try this out:

Alert your connections that you will be taking one weeks (or however long you feel you need) ‘vacation’ from the net.
Hold yourself accountable for it, no matter what juicy adventures you want to share – be present with that urge to splurge and be at peace with telling no-one.
Observe how remaining silent makes you feel – do you feel a certain tranquility or are you chomping at the bit? Really question yourself — do you truly need to share that photo of your dinner last night? Do your friends need to know how long you were at the gym this morning? Possibly not.
If you are experiencing more calm and ease without social networking, then this exercise has worked. You will be more aware of how to limit your time dedicated to it in the future. Work out a viable timetable and stick to it.
If you are edgy and feel anxious, then this exercise has also worked and you need to go into why you are feeling this way. Social networking has a hold over you and there is something there that needs addressing. Dig deep and follow the thread of answers to this question: Why do I feel the need to be distracted? You will be taken to the core of your inability to ‘let go’ of being in the loop about every little detail, or keeping people in the loop about every endeavor you undertake.

You Are the Center of Your Own World

When you take a break from your social networking sites, I can bet that you most likely will not be missed — however, this will not be from the lack of love your friends and associates have for you.

The reason is, in all actuality, you are not going to be the center of their worlds and they will most likely have many other diversions to keep them busy. Don’t take offense at this — it is helpfully indicative that everyone has a ‘life’. You are at the center of your revolving world and they are conducting their version of reality too — learn to honor this and be grateful when your worlds collide for the greater good.

This can give you a clearer perspective of how you identify what is important and hone down what you feel you need to distribute that will benefit others. It will aid you to ascertain what needs to be shared and what can remain private.

Call to Action

I want you to work out approximately how much time a week you spend on social networking and then compare it to your new timetable. Let us know how much time you have saved and what you now do to use that time more creatively.

Use social networking responsibly and you will have the best of both worlds.

Use social networking to see the beauty in life, to get inspired and to spread good vibes — don’t let it use you to become a slave to that lower vibrational world of gossip, drama and bullshit.

Original article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Conscious Life News

Other articles you may enjoy:

8 Life Strategies That Playing Chess Has Taught Me

How to Get Your Creative Space Working For You

9 Truths About Letting Go of Opinions that Taint Us

An Artful Splash of Colour For Your Facebook Timeline

Are You a Celebrity Hypocrite?

Posted on February 28, 2012 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

This is a touchy subject but one that I would like to ‘vent’ about.

We live in a society that is celebrity mad. A celebrity dies and there are endless Facebook comments and twitter feeds sending out condolences. I do not mind this in the least if it were not so fake.

Some people use it to ‘jump on the bandwagon’ of whats ‘trending’ on social networks, some people do it because they are genuinely shocked that a celebrity can actually die (Are they really mere mortals?!?) and some were genuine fans and are sad at the passing.

The latter is most understandable as I would also feel a great loss if, say for instance, David Bowie had to pass. I have loved his music since I was a child and I would be a little sad.

Roll out the Merchandise

And doesn’t it make you sick, when days after their passing, all the commemorative merchandise starts hitting the stores! This is a society gone mad. I know only too well how the art industry works in a similar vein. Die and you are an instant millionare…bizarre!

“We ‘loved’ this person. Really? Then why were you not tweeting about them every day…”

However, most of these celebrities were never talked about when they were alive, with exception to when they were in their ‘hay day’. They slip out of the limelight and into obscurity and when the die…well, only then is there an outcry! Oh my. We ‘loved’ this person. Really? Then why were you not tweeting about them every day or at least once a year?

Do you really feel a loss or are you being swept up in the media ‘hype’? Has this really changed your life?

The Sad Reality

Now what I really want to get to is this. Statistically, 150 000 people die every day.

Wow!

There are people dying every day in the uprisings in countries like Syria and various conflicts all over the world — men, women and children alike. We don’t see much memorial tributes on our feed to this problem, do we?

What makes us so numb to our brothers and sisters all over the world that lose their lives daily, some needlessly?

Why are we only ‘called into action’ when a celebrity dies?

Do we feel we know this person?

Is it shocking because we think they are untouchable or somehow, immortal?

Is it that too many people die daily and they are mere statistics to us?

It is sad.

Well Wishing for the World

I believe that all the well wishes that go out to celebrity families are wonderful because the collective sorrow, or group consciousness, will be very strong and these families and loved ones, of the person who has passed, will no doubt feel the love and compassion on a grand scale.

“I wish we could have a death of this distorted thing called ‘celebrity’ — can you imagine a world without it? “

I only wish that we could practice this for every soul on the planet, not only the ones who appear on TV or in the tabloids. You may not know them by name or face but when you feel the need to dish out condolences, try to remember all the people out their grieving and try to also bless them with your love and compassion.

I wish we could have a death of this distorted thing called ‘celebrity’ — can you imagine a world without it? If we could just appreciate actors, musicians, etc for what they do and not what their status is? I’m sure most of the celebrities would love it — having the freedom to live their lives without being bombarded by paparazzi.

Can you imagine a world where Justin Bieber can go to his local cinema with a bunch of friends and perhaps just be a normal teenager who likes to sing? Or Lady Gaga can get a cup of coffee at Starbucks without wearing shades? Oh well, maybe one day.

Food for thought, isn’t it? Please feel free to share your views on this. How many of you would prefer a celebrity-free world?

Photo credit: Red Carpet by Salvatore Vuono

How to Get and Maintain that Positive Attitude

Posted on October 20, 2011 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

Turning a Negative into a Positive

We all know about positive thinking and the Law of Attraction but do we really put it into practice?

I have so many friends who say they completely understand the Law of Attraction but I find these very same people asking me to join groups on Facebook with very negative connotations, such as ‘Stop Child Abuse’ or ‘Fight Cancer’ . They still don’t quite get it.

So how do you phrase with positivity then?

It does take some getting used to and it can be thought-provoking but it is possible. Mother Theresa said something very profound to demonstrate this premise, it went along the lines of: You’ll never see her at an Anti-War Rally but you will find her at a Pro-Peace Demonstration.

“When we harp on negative words or phrasing we are actually calling them into existence or perpetuating their existence…”

Let’s take the ‘Stop Child Abuse’ campaign, this can be rephrased as the ‘Love and Respect our Children’ or ‘Joyous Childhood’ campaign. ‘Fight Cancer’ can equate positively to ’Complete Physical Well-being”.

What Happens When we Focus on Negativity?

When we harp on negative words or phrasing we are actually calling them into existence or perpetuating their existence. Feeding the problem, making it recur over and over until we change our mindset.

Let’s try to think a little differently and see what a world of difference we make.

When I talk to most people about this they nearly always tell me that it is far to difficult to alter ones thoughts. It is not — it just takes time, awareness and patience.

How to Stop Negativity

The first step is to put your awareness on your thoughts and try to stop the negative ones in their tracks.

At first, some of these thoughts will slip through the cracks and you’ll find yourself in a fear induced state of panic of what might be or what has been and might happen again (isn’t this conducive to how most of us think?).

This is actually quite a normal state of mind in our society – one could even say a collective state of mind. Don’t give up on it though, with repetition things will change and you will find it easier and easier to stop your train of thought when you want to.

One by one you will slowly begin to eradicate these unproductive thought processes from you mind.

Patience is a Strong Virtue

Everything takes time and a bit of getting used to so the best is to be patient with yourself and gently usher in the new positive thought process.

Do not judge yourself if you fall of the track every now and again – you just pick yourself up and get back on track. Before you know it, you will be identifying negative thought patterns more and more easily and you will be able to alter the pattern to positivity.

“Just remember the ‘what if’s’ usually never ever happen anyway – how much time have we wasted on this?”

I know this for sure because I practice this and find it to be very effective. It has taken me almost a year to be at a point where I can change negative thoughts midstream and reverse it to a more positive scenario.

What if I Lapse?

Believe me, I also have my lapses but more often than not it can be stopped before one gets carried away in the stream of ‘what if’ scenarios.

I was very good at the ‘what if’ scenario – I’m sure we could all win Oscars for that but how about changing the ‘what if’ into a ‘what is’ because only what is happening now is of true importance. Just remember the ‘what if’s’ usually never ever happen anyway – how much time have we wasted on this? Read more about how to stop worrisome thoughts HERE.

Easier said than done? Most definitely, but anything of great importance is worth the persistence. Persist with this and, I promise you, you will reap the rewards of a clear and positive state of mind.

Positive thoughts can pull you out of the darkness.
Positive thoughts can heal a sick body.
Positive thoughts can help eliminate our biggest obstacle, fear.

You are in Control

Positivity will alter your perception of the world you live in – the choice is, and always will remain, with you.

You create your life experience, you are in control. What you see reflected in your life circumstance is what you have projected, consciously – or most of the time unconsciously. Be clear about this and move on to filtering your wants and don’t wants.

Live your best life – you can only do this when you take responsibility for your actions and thoughts. Take control of your life and truly live!

Have Your Say…

Are you a positive person or do you feel yourself slipping into the negative realms before you can stop it? Share your thoughts and experiences…I’d love to hear from you.

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