the smoky mirror | Cherie Roe Dirksen

The above quotation is what is sometimes referred to as the ‘smoky mirror’ syndrome. We don’t like in others what we don’t care to admit is a fault within us.

How Can I Identify this Kind of Behaviour in Myself?

An example of this could be that you are very annoyed with your colleague for never allowing you to get your point across. This may be a reflection of how you behave at times. It may not be with this specific person, it could be something that you do to your friends or family, in a completely different environment from the workplace.

This is why it is difficult for us to sometimes identify the problem within ourselves — we simply don’t recognize its existence.

“Awareness allows for truth to flow through a situation.”

It is imperitive to find time for deep inner reflection, questioning and, above all, honesty when it comes to dealing with trying to figure out why your buttons are being pushed.

When you can identify the behaviour within yourself, you have found the awareness to deal with it. Awareness allows for truth to flow through a situation. So instead of reacting the next time your colleague doesn’t allow for you to have your say, see if this inner questioning system works:

Do I need to ‘have my say’ or can I simply be the still presence and say nothing?
If not, why is it that I feel the need to reciprocate?
Does it make me feel less important when I remain silent?
Do I really need to convince my colleague of my point of view or is this my ego wanting to control the situation?

Be honest with yourself.

Now when you find yourself on the giving end of the situation — in this instance, you will be the one doing all the talking and not letting anyone else have a word — see if you can:

Identify that you have perhaps not allowed anyone else to talk or contribute.
Can you stop talking once this awareness has broken through?
Are you comfortable with letting someone else speak and listening to their point of view?

I have only given one example here of how the smoky mirror can work, please try to mould this example to fit in with any situation you are having difficulties with.

If you can’t identify the behaviour in yourself, then perhaps you can go out on a limb and ask a friend if they see this behaviour in you. Don’t be angry if your friend can identify it, just remember that you are on the path to self-empowerment and you need to be able to not take things personally.

Call to Action!

Can you share a story about recognizing the actions of another reflected in yourself? How are you dealing with that? Share your wisdom…

Are you having problems seeing this concept in yourself? Is there no way that you mirror the bad behaviour you see in others that irritates you?

Are you walking a fine line between acknowledging your faults or finding that you are just being objectively critical?

For further reading, please see my other blogs:

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…Who’s in the Most Denial of Us All?

Do You Take Things Personally?

More about this topic can also be found in my book ‘Divine You – Redefining Love in the New Earth’ (where the above quotation was taken from).

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The Smoky Mirror

This is a concept that most people at first feel a strong repulsion with because they do not quite understand the concept. I discussed it briefly in my book ‘Divine You’ but, for those of you who have not read it, I will recap:

Our Actions Reflected — The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!

When we find ourselves annoyed or upset with someone it is usually because we are mirroring the same behaviour in some way. It doesn’t have to be wrapped identically in the same package but it is something we have to look out for and go into when it is necessary or you could be fudging or avoiding a certain issue within you that needs to be addressed.

Deep Cleaning or Surface Cleaning?

Just remember, when you sweep your rising issues under the rug, you are not solving the problem merely postponing it.

” When you own up and take the responsibility to steer your life in the right direction, you will find that life becomes a grand adventure.”

The choice is yours whether you would like to finally look it in the face or save it for another day. But be aware, when you put it away for another time, it tends to grow and start manifesting as dis-ease in your body.

We all came to earth for personal growth and to walk through our karma. You chose this. When you own up and take the responsibility to steer your life in the right direction, you will find that life becomes a grand adventure.

When we continuously do a ‘patch-up’ job or play games of dodge-cars — we are side stepping our problems or issues and this will never solve them.

This is why, in our present-society especially, there is so much avoidance going on.

What’s on the Telly? Who Turned the Radio Off!?! Where’s my iPod?…No! Not Silence, Please…

We have so much to distract us.

“You must face the consequence that you may be left behind in an evolving world.”

When we don’t want to face the silence, which usually gives rise to inner questioning, we turn on the TV, surf the internet or put on the radio.

This has to be curbed in order for us to evolve to the next level of human design. If you choose to stay in the current paradigm of white picket fencing and two and a half children, then that is your decision to make. You must face the consequence that you may be left behind in an evolving world.

Time For Reflection…

So, with the mirror, we gain reflective insight. Notice how you feel when someone gets your back up. Is there something in them that you may not be addressing in yourself?

Be honest with yourself.

For example: there is a certain someone who seems to trigger anger in you because they always assume who you are and what you are about.

Are you assuming something about them or others?
Are you judgment free?
Do you seldom see things from a different perspective or point of view?

When we can be honest with ourselves, this is everything!

When we can look at our own behaviour, without judgment — just assessment — we are on the path of least resistance.

Be Honest, Keep Assessing

Then the next time you feel this emotion rise within you, you can step out of yourself and assess why it is that you are still feeling this:

Is there still room for improvement,?
How can you better stop yourself from taking the same action with another?

With this knowledge in tow, you have the ability to notice when you are stepping off course with your better judgment.

Close That Book and Study Yourself

When you are aware of your own flaws you are better equipped to notice it when it rears within you.

Even if you have already done the deed but noticed it afterwards, this is a step in the right direction. You cannot change something if you are still not accepting or acknowledging that there is a problem.

Every person that engages in this dance of life with you, has a teaching for you.

Remember this and accept the teaching next time it is presented to you — no matter what package it comes in.

When you practice this it will enhance your life with the addition of peace in any circumstance. You are in control at all times. Reaffirm this daily.

Is there someone in your life who pushes all your buttons but you can’t seem to see the same in yourself?
What has been your most surprising moment of realization with seeing yourself in others?
Are you able to freely assess yourself when you feel annoyance arising within you when you are in the company of another?

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