7 Ways to Tame the Ego and Become Instantly Likeable

 “If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the 
internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need 
to be approved, and the need to judge.” ~ Deepak Chopra

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What is the Ego?

I remember having a conversation with someone once, we were talking about Eckhart Tolle and the ego identification.  The lady I was talking to piped up and said, ‘well, I don’t have an ego’.

“Do you get that an ego is the identification you have with your self and who you are, what you do and how others perceive you?”

Let me make this perfectly clear:  Everybody has an ego!  Here is the dictionary definition of this fruity little word:

e·go – 

  1. the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.
  2. the part of you that reacts to the outside world and thus mediates between the primitive drives of the id and the demands of the social and physical environment.
  3. egotism; conceit; self-importance.
  4. self-esteem or self-image; feelings.
  5. the enduring and conscious element that knows experience.

Aligning with Your Awareness of Ego

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Are you a prancing show-pony or a shrinking violet?  Either one has an imbalanced sense of self.

Now that we have cleared up the myth of the ego being only a no. 3 definition of the strutting peacock itching to get recognition and praise, we can move on to ways of coping with your ego.

“Ego is the biggest enemy of humans” ~ Rig Veda

Do you get that an ego is the identification you have with your self and who you are, what you do and how others perceive you?

So even someone who is timid and an introvert has a problem with ego identification.  It is just in reverse but the principle remains.  When you feel yourself either inferior or superior to others — you have ego issues.

Disidentifying With the Ego

The ego is an inseparable part of you, it is not the enemy.  It is how you let your ego use you that can be detrimental to the quality of your life.

“Masters know when to speak, when to be silent and when their words will be like farting against thunder.”

I am, in no way, saying that the ego needs suppression or containment, just proper management and understanding — it’s as simple as that.  Your ego identification is an integral part of you, and like the universal concept that we are both yin and yang/light and dark, you need it.  You are a unique individual with irrevocable personality traits in your toolkit — this is the part of ego that can be embraced.  The key is to see this beautiful quality in every other soul.

Here is the pitfall of the ego — it wants to be separate from the whole, better than the rest and put itself somewhere untouchable.  This is the downfall of our current society, it is a separatist theory that pits people against each other and keeps them in an ‘us against them’ mental construct.

This is the dangerous element of the ego — the total takeover and manipulation of the authentic self.  Unfortunately, most of our worlds cultures are primarily caught up in the subconscious identification of the ego.

So how can you disconnect and tame your ego?

Let’s Spring Clean this Concept

There are 7 fundamental principles to keeping your ego in check.  Let’s explore them now:

  • Water Off a Ducks Back — do not take things
    personally.  When you do, you are subconsciously (or consciously) in agreement with whatever you have taken offense at.  This can leave you in constant need for validation from external sources which is the need of the ego.  Be at peace with what other people think of you, even if it is not congruent with how you see yourself.  You are never going to have universal appeal, there will always be someone out there who doesn’t like you — get over it now and save yourself any future distress.  Acceptance of what is is key.  For more about this in-depth trait, click here: Do You Take Things Personally?
  • Think Before You Speak — honour the power of your words and you will honour not only others but your sense of self.  Choose your words wisely.  You will be in control instead of having a hurtful motor-mouth.  People will pick up on this and return it in kind.  Practicing the integrity of your words will result in a better quality of life for yourself and those with whom you interact.
  • Hold Your Tongue — the ego loves to make itself right.  A common trap to fall into is trying to make someone else see that you are right. Really?  Is it that important for you to force someone to see life through your eyes and perceptions?
    No, that is your ego trying to justify itself.  Masters know when to speak, when to be silent and when their words will be like farting against thunder.  Control over your mouth is like having control over your sphincter muscle at a dinner party.  Exercise it and you will notice how easy it becomes to have total control of outbursts or having to explain yourself constantly. The best book I ever read about learning to be impeccable with your words is ‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz (a must have for your spiritual library).
  • Don’t Buy into the Labels — get in touch with who you really are and reconnect
    to your source or core being.  Look past the labels and identifications that society plasters you with.  You are not your profession, you are not the role you play in your family or community.  You are a special individual spark of the Divine that is nameless and authentic.  Get to grips with that through meditation (click here for an article about 5 Easy Steps to Meditating).
  • Quit Comparisons — learn to be comfortable in your own skin.  There is no-one in the world like you — from your individual fingerprints to all the exclusive experiences your soul has accumulated.  Comparing yourself to others is another trick of the ego — don’t fall for it.  Fall in love with yourself (read an article about this HERE).
  • Count Your Blessings — instead of complaining about all the things that are wrong with your physical appearance and situation, try to see all the positive
    aspects of your life and body.
  • See Divinity En-Masse — don’t try to elevate yourself above or bury yourself below others.  You are part of a collective consciousness of Divine souls here on Earth.  See the divinity in yourself and see it in others too.  The ego won’t be able to do this.  If you are finding resistance, you need to go into why you can’t accept that your fellow human beings are just as much a part of God as you are.  To see the internal beauty in another will put you on a level playing field instead of comparing yourself and others and passing dangerous judgments.

Why Will This Guarantee My Success?

How to Train Your Dragon of an Ego by Cherie Roe Dirksen

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When you tame the ego, you are paving the way for smooth and easy life flow.  You relinquish judgments, comparisons and the need to be or feel superior.  This is a frequency that you will project and I guarantee that people will be attracted to you.  People standing in their truth and integrity are like moths to a flame — be it in your personal or professional life.

Your ego won’t go away but you can have control over it instead of it running amuck with you.

When you do have control, you will never feel the need for superiority nor inferiority to any one else.  You simply are — a state of grace, least resistance and an inner knowing of peace.  Now isn’t that something worth going after?

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Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…Who’s in the Most Denial of Us All?

The Smoky Mirror

This is a concept that most people at first feel a strong repulsion with because they do not quite understand the concept. I discussed it briefly in my book ‘Divine You’ but, for those of you who have not read it, I will recap:

Our Actions Reflected — The Good, The Bad and The Ugly!

When we find ourselves annoyed or upset with someone it is usually because we are mirroring the same behaviour in some way. It doesn’t have to be wrapped identically in the same package but it is something we have to look out for and go into when it is necessary or you could be fudging or avoiding a certain issue within you that needs to be addressed.

Deep Cleaning or Surface Cleaning?

Just remember, when you sweep your rising issues under the rug, you are not solving the problem merely postponing it.

” When you own up and take the responsibility to steer your life in the right direction, you will find that life becomes a grand adventure.”

The choice is yours whether you would like to finally look it in the face or save it for another day. But be aware, when you put it away for another time, it tends to grow and start manifesting as dis-ease in your body.

We all came to earth for personal growth and to walk through our karma. You chose this. When you own up and take the responsibility to steer your life in the right direction, you will find that life becomes a grand adventure.

When we continuously do a ‘patch-up’ job or play games of dodge-cars — we are side stepping our problems or issues and this will never solve them.

This is why, in our present-society especially, there is so much avoidance going on.

What’s on the Telly?  Who Turned the Radio Off!?!  Where’s my iPod?…No!  Not Silence, Please…

We have so much to distract us.

“You must face the consequence that you may be left behind in an evolving world.”

When we don’t want to face the silence, which usually gives rise to inner questioning, we turn on the TV, surf the internet or put on the radio.

This has to be curbed in order for us to evolve to the next level of human design. If you choose to stay in the current paradigm of white picket fencing and two and a half children, then that is your decision to make. You must face the consequence that you may be left behind in an evolving world.

Time For Reflection…

So, with the mirror, we gain reflective insight. Notice how you feel when someone gets your back up. Is there something in them that you may not be addressing in yourself?

Be honest with yourself.

For example: there is a certain someone who seems to trigger anger in you because they always assume who you are and what you are about.

  • Are you assuming something about them or others?
  • Are you judgment free?
  • Do you seldom see things from a different perspective or point of view?

When we can be honest with ourselves, this is everything!

When we can look at our own behaviour, without judgment — just assessment — we are on the path of least resistance.

Be Honest, Keep Assessing

Then the next time you feel this emotion rise within you, you can step out of yourself and assess why it is that you are still feeling this:

  • Is there still room for improvement,?
  • How can you better stop yourself from taking the same action with another?

With this knowledge in tow, you have the ability to notice when you are stepping off course with your better judgment.

Close That Book and Study Yourself

When you are aware of your own flaws you are better equipped to notice it when it rears within you.

Even if you have already done the deed but noticed it afterwards, this is a step in the right direction. You cannot change something if you are still not accepting or acknowledging that there is a problem.

Every person that engages in this dance of life with you, has a teaching for you.

Remember this and accept the teaching next time it is presented to you — no matter what package it comes in.

When you practice this it will enhance your life with the addition of peace in any circumstance. You are in control at all times. Reaffirm this daily.

  • Is there someone in your life who pushes all your buttons but you can’t seem to see the same in yourself?
  • What has been your most surprising moment of realization with seeing yourself in others?
  • Are you able to freely assess yourself when you feel annoyance arising within you when you are in the company of another?

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CAUTION: God’s Gonna Kick Your Ass!

The Prodigal Son

We all know the biblical parable of the Prodigal Son (if you don’t click here).

Long story really short:  Two sons are given their inheritance before the father dies.  One son does the ‘right’ thing and works for his father, the other son squanders his lot and comes crawling back to the father.  The father takes him in as if nothing has happened and celebrates (much to the discontent of the other brother who feels it isn’t fair).

Well, is that fair?

I think so…

God’s Gift of Freewill

This is a great analogy for God.  I don’t think God’s going to punish anybody for taking a detour on the path, or even if you completely stray off this path.

“I don’t think God is going to kick anyone’s butt in heaven for missed opportunity or bad behaviour.”

God gives all of us many gifts, whether they be in the form of talents, love or friendships, etc.  What we do with them is up to us but I don’t think He is going to be upset if we don’t use them.

I don’t think God is going to kick anyone’s butt in heaven for missed opportunity or bad behaviour.  God gave us freewill and this is the one gift we do use whether it is deemed ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

“Our choice is our gift to ourselves, we bring to our own table that which we experience.  “

We have this blessed gift of choice.  We will be our own judges and our misgivings will be our remorses.  God is that parent who does not judge, only accepts what is.

Please read my blog Does God Love Us Unconditionally? HERE

Choices

Our choice is our gift to ourselves, we bring to our own table that which we experience.

Nobody can tell you what to do but you can take advice.

My advice is this:  Take responsibility for your life.  If you feel you are in alignment with your integrity then that is great!  Whether someone else is not in alignment and you notice this, it is none of your business unless you are asked by that person for help.

You should not judge them for the path they are taking.  You don’t know where that path may inevitably lead them.  That is why you should not interfere.  If you are asked for assistance by them, then that soul has made a choice.  That is why you may help when you are asked to help.

Take Responsibility

In taking responsibility for your life, as in the honourable son from the Prodigal Son parable, you are not being a burden on anyone else.  This feels like the noble thing to do, doesn’t it?

“We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and focus purely on how harmonized we are with our purpose.”

It doesn’t really matter if your sibling is doing the opposite to you in their life and your parent still welcomes them back with open arms.  The father in this parable was right and his son should have rather rejoiced to have his brother back instead of feeling hard done by because all his efforts weren’t rewarded.  I think his reward far outweighs the ‘lost’ son in that he got to spend more valuable time with his father.  The other brother may regret this for the rest of his life.

We need to stop comparing ourselves to others and focus purely on how harmonized we are with our purpose.  Replace judgment with compassion and understanding.

Have you ever felt resentment?  Are you still feeling that way?  Can you perhaps choose to see things differently now?

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The Shocking Truth About Gender Equality

Women are Men and Men are Women 

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus?  This may seem to be the case when we are living in linearity with an illusory divide that is the separation between the two genders of humanity. But let’s look at why this statement is lacking a quantum perspective.

The Healing of the Female/Male Painbody

I feel like I was born into this world with a female painbody (for those of you who are not familiar with the word ‘painbody’ — a word coined by Eckhart Tolle — I am referring to the collective emotion/pain of being a woman).

” …the divide between men and women and the issue of inequality is monumentally better than just even one generation ago…”

The frustration of feeling equal in all but strength to a man can be overwhelming when faced with situations of unequal pay, if you are female, not being taken seriously with your political or even general views, etc.

I have to say that we are living in a day and age where the divide between men and women and the issue of inequality is monumentally better than just even one generation ago, let alone 300 years ago.  But there is still work to be done.  And in fact, it is such a simple thing that we need to do — to address inequality — that I have all confidence and hope that this generation will be the ones to effect change.

 Reconciling the History of Pain

The collective ‘painbody’ of the female goes way back.

“…the basic stripping down of the divine feminine and subjugating her to a life of being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. “

As you can imagine, we are talking about biblical times where women were practically written out of the bible or if they did make an appearance they were usually whores or harlots;  the witch burning crusades of the Spanish Inquisition;  the basic stripping down of the divine feminine and subjugating her to a life of being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

During my lifetime, I have pondered these many harsh historical tales and it has made me feel quite angry about being a woman.

I Want to be a Man

For most of my life I always wanted to be a man, this would have seemed to solve a lot of my frustrations.  Until I had my recent epiphany that has made me see this from a completely new perspective.

And hooray for this new revelation because now I can say with confidence ‘I LOVE BEING A WOMAN!’.

 Blood, Sweat and Tears…Literally

I woke up last week and had started my period.  I ambled downstairs and sat on the couch while I had my first cup of the morning and tried to wake up.

“A mixture of feelings had overcome me and I wasn’t too sure about the outburst.”

After just sitting there for about an hour I burst into tears.  A mixture of feelings had overcome me and I wasn’t too sure about the outburst.  So I thought to myself it’s just PMS and I am in pain so ergo the tears.

This  made me feel even more frustrated and the crying didn’t stop.  My dear husband came and sat with me during the outburst and offered consolation.  I then asked him if he minded me ‘spilling my guts’ to him in an attempt to purge myself of what I was feeling.  He agreed and the deluge began.

Frustration and Compassion

It started with me telling him my frustrations over how my period made me feel – sore, dirty, uncomfortable and, worst of all, judged.

I let it out that I was frustrated about how most women are judged or perceived as being a little ‘mental’ when they are menstruating.  I verbalized the injustice in this as your body does go crazy and it is mostly out of your control.

“When you don’t understand something, don’t judge it – just let it be and show compassion.”

Perhaps, some men just don’t get the fact that your body is being stormed with hormones and you don’t know your arse from your elbow.  The key to this is empathy – compassion.  When you don’t understand something, don’t judge it – just let it be and show compassion.  That’s all, it’s very simple.  Support and compassion.

No Stopping Me Now

The tears, however, did not abate.

I had just read a chapter in a book the night before that stated that women who have sex out of a ‘sins of the flesh’ or in lustful way have pain during childbirth.

Now I have heard of orgasmic childbirths and I have no quarrel with this statement as, perhaps, children who are conceived through the purest of intentions and love may very well be born differently – turning pain into ecstasy.

But my female painbody sprung into action!

  • What about all the men who have lustful ‘sins of the flesh’ type sex?
  • What is the pain that they are to bear?
  • A man is even guaranteed an orgasm if conception has taken place, where the woman is not guaranteed anything – how unfair!
  • Why must a woman take on the misgivings of these combined activities?

Utter frustration was gripping me as I tackled this concept.  I was back in the throngs of the painbody.

Collapse and then Rebuild

Whilst my husband took a break from the festivities of the couch, I sat sobbing into my tissue.

As I was in this moment I felt arms around me.  Whether they were the arms of my guides, angels or higher self, they were so comforting.

Then I heard a whisper in my ear:

 “Now what if you were a man in your previous life and all these men who ‘don’t get women’ were actually women themselves in past life experiences – you have incarnated here on this earth plane and you have forgotten all past life experiences”. 

Now I do know this concept that we have had numerous past lives and the likelihood of having experienced various different lives in various different genders makes sense.

No More Duality, Thank You!

Then the penny dropped (and along with it a lot of frustration):  All men in this current lifetime have been women, have given birth, have probably been raped or abused, have been put down, have suffered extremities and loss.

“We are all one and the same!  Duh.”

All women in this current lifetime have been soldiers and/or warriors, have done hard labour, have perhaps been abusers, have suffered bloodshed and loss just like anyone.  We are all one and the same!  Duh.

Most have just forgotten.

The voice then whispered again in my ear, “Now say the opposite”.  I wondered what the voice meant and then I realized that I had been repeatedly sobbing into my tissue ‘I hate being a woman!’…I tried it, ‘I love being a woman!’  I felt a great sense of relief and sincerity when I voiced this.

So, in figuring that one out I sat there – in silence.  So what is the solution.  This makes me feel a bit better but it still doesn’t solve everything.

Speaking Trinity with an Angel

Then I remembered something that Archangel Metatron had told me in one of my dowsing sessions.  He said that we need to redefine the trinity as love, healing coupled with compassion and this will lead us to mastery.

The Conclusion and New Beginnings

My conclusion is that through the love of each other, crossing every divide – be it gender or race, religion or political view – we will allow ourselves to empathize with each other and to have compassion.

“We are the yin and the yang.  There is no separation – this is an illusion.”

When we can walk alongside each other and lift each other up and offer support when and where it is needed, we will be masters.

When gender is no longer an issue and the problems that either gender is facing in the NOW is met with compassion and understanding, we will be equal.  Because we know, deep down inside what it feels like to be both man or woman.

When you buy into the illusion of separation, this leads to fear, misery and frustration.  See past the illusion of gender and you are just the I AM.

Just love who you are now.

Be grateful for who you are now.


Do You Understand Unconditional Love?

Playing with Words

Now let’s cast aside all cheesy connotations of the word and let’s have a closer look at it…LOVE.

L  O  V  E.

Yes, but what does it mean?

Now I like to play with words and I think it is fascinating that word like disease broken down are ‘dis-ease’ and ‘remember’ is to ‘re-member’ (become a part of the whole again), so love backwards begins to spell…evol – ve?  Maybe…evol – ution…could be.  Just a thought…

Aren’t we all progressively trying to evolve in one way or another?  Could love be the catalyst for evolution?

To Love Unconditionally

Love is more than a word or chemical reaction in the brain telling us how we feel.  Love is the Universal language of emotion.  It can even be called the ultimate emotion.  Or going out on a limb, the only true emotion – the one that leads back to Source.

“We say we love unconditionally but in reality our love always comes with conditions attached.”

There are of course ‘different’ types of love.  The love a mother has for a child, the romantic kind of love, brotherly/sisterly love, love for thy neighbor, and the list goes on.  You get the picture.  But what does it really mean?

Love is unconditional.  Another word that most people roll their eyes at…what is unconditional?  We say we love unconditionally but in reality our love always comes with conditions attached.  Think about it.

Do you love your partner unconditionally?  No, I hear you say.  Okay, why?  Well, because there is the fear of them leaving or, even worse, leaving me for someone else.  Fear, another wonderful concept that I delve into in my new book ‘Divine You’ (now available at all good bookstores!).

Understanding Love

Heart IITo love unconditionally is best likened to the parental type of love.  Even though it goes to say that even some parents love with attachments — this is most typically found in Western and even in Eastern cultures where parents tend to live through their children and do not let the children experience their own desires.  But typically a parent loves their child (ren) unconditionally.

” A parent will love their child even if that child does something unspeakable…”

This is the closest we are going to get in this 3D realm to what unconditional love really looks like.  A parent will love their child even if that child does something unspeakable.  Even if your child were to commit a serious crime.  You wouldn’t just stop loving your child if they were to murder someone.

You might be devastated but you will still love them.

Turning off Judgment to Experience Love

Love is something you can’t switch off.  But judgment is.  Judgment can be switched off, it just takes time and practice.  I say this because our need to judge continuously clouds our need to love unconditionally.

“We judge in others what we don’t like about ourselves.”

Isn’t that what this is really about?  We blind ourselves through judgment of others.  Why?  Because everyone is mirrored back to us.  We judge in others what we don’t like about ourselves.

I will continue more on this topic in Thursdays blog (please click the ‘follow’ button in the sidebar if you wish to be instantly updated when blogs are released).  This has been an extract from my latest book ‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ which is now available.

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Your World, Your Life

I would like to share with you the outro of my book (‘Divine You’).  It is a poem I wrote just before I started the endeavour that was the undertaking of writing this self-empowerment guide.  It encapsulates the journey of this book and I hope it will whet your appetite.

So for now, I’ll leave you with this…

Your World, Your Life…

Your world begins and ends with you
You are in control, the master of your destiny

You are the constant observer of your world
You are the choice maker
Your choices create your world

You will know the crossroads when you see them
Think hard about who you are and what you want
Your decisions are never wrong unless you don’t learn from them
And are grateful when they are the right decisions

We make mistakes so we can learn
We have to make mistakes so we know what we want from life
It is never too late to alter your destiny or to right a wrong

Forgiveness is vital along your path
To forgive helps you to extinguish anger
It is not designed to indemnify the perpetrator
It is there to help you move on

To forgive yourself is a difficult task
It is also a most vital task

You were made perfect
You doubt yourself through the eyes and opinions of others
Be mindful of what you say to others and what is said to you

You know you are Divine, you know you are perfect
Compliments or criticisms from others should be taken lightly
Only you know your soul
Only you can evaluate yourself

If you let criticism into your heart you are agreeing with it
You will pick up a lot of this kind of ‘baggage’ along the way
Just remember it is easy to break the agreement if you do not concur

Only you know who you are
Only you can make the agreement

Never assume anything, assumptions only cause confusion
Make sure you know the facts

The world is your oyster, you are never to young or too old
Your dreams will become reality if you believe it
Thoughts are the second most powerful force in the Universe
Love is the first

Love yourself and you will have endless love for others
Hold love in your heart and the world will open up for you
See everyone in the world as a part of you, a collective Oneness
Treat them like you would treat yourself

Love begets love, fear begets fear
Again, the choice is yours

This is it

Choose

                                                      ~  Cherie Roe Dirksen

 

My book ‘Divine You — Redefining Love in the New Earth’ is now available at Barnes & Noble Bookstore.

This book encourages the reader to re-examine some fundamental qualities to living a happy and content life.  It looks at the importance of forgiveness, why it is imperative not to judge, how to use the Law of Attraction, present moment awareness, what unconditional love really looks like, how to vanquish fear, awakening the unity that is the christ-consciousness seed within you and lots more.

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Taking Things Personally Could Be Ruining Your Life

Caught in Blue by Cherie Roe Dirksen

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Be Honest With Yourself

Are you easily offended? When you take something personally or are affronted, you are — in a claustrophobic little nutshell — agreeing with what has been said about you.

Does this ring true or are you shaking your head profusely?

When you feel offended you are agreeing with the offender because it has touched a nerve. Let’s try unravel more of this…

Nerves Weren’t Always Twisted, You Know

If someone tried to hurt you, or perhaps even inadvertently, says something to you that you don’t agree with – no problem – you usually shrug off this kind of ‘offense’ because it really doesn’t bother you.

For example: You are happy with your appearance and feel you are a fine specimen, someone passes by in a vehicle and shouts out ‘hey, freak!’

Here is your moment; do you agree with that or not? If you are 100% confident that you are a perfectly chic human being then you would most likely shrug the comment off and have a good laugh.

Why? Simply because you don’t agree with the statement.

“Who get’s to be the judge and jury on what is deemed beautiful accepted or hideous? The tabloids? Hollywood?”

Now, if you think you are ‘okay’ looking but there could be room for improvement, or, in the extreme, if you are someone with downright low self-esteem, this statement would be devastating because a part of you, or perhaps – most of you, agrees with this. You are shocked that someone else has found you out!

You thought if you could keep your head down no-one would notice you but here someone has clearly seen your faults. This feels like a low blow and you become all knotted up in your stomach (solar plexus area).

The Illusion of Appearance

The ultimate fear of imperfection and/or of not being accepted is, of course, an illusion.

Who get’s to be the judge and jury on what is deemed beautiful accepted or hideous? The tabloids? Hollywood? Just spare a thought as to who you give your power over to, that which dictates what beauty and normal is, and try to see that it is all fake.

True beauty and acceptance is in the eye of the beholder. So anyone claiming to know what beauty or normal definitely is needs very close examining if they are not including every member of the human race in their synopsis.

To agree with anyone over anything stemming from feelings of lack would be disempowering.

“The person doing the insulting is only reminding you of something that needs to be taken on within yourself to have a good, long and hard look at – and to either change or accept.”

The same could be said over someone slighting your intelligence. If you don’t feel stupid then any snide remark over your competence could be easily overlooked but if you are worried about what others think, a dig at your IQ could mean the world to you.

Are You to Blame?

This is not truly the fault of the insulter (although they will have to deal with their contribution via their karma) – it is actually your fault.

Yeah, it sounds harsh and it is. But if we are going to get real about this we need to dive right into the core of the problem and bring it up for close scrutiny.

The person doing the insulting is only reminding you of something that needs to be taken on within yourself to have a good, long and hard look at – and to ultimately change or accept.

Although you probably won’t want to give them a gold medal for their efforts at the time, I assure you that some people are in this life to push your buttons — in a seemingly unloving way — to actually give you the opportunity to reconsider your belief structures.

This may be on a level that even they are not aware of.

If there are no buttons to push, then you can walk away head held high knowing that it is something you have overcome or never had a doubt about in the first place.

It is the slights that leave us feeling wounded that mean that we have a program still running within us that wants to be ended, a cache that needs clearing.

What Insults You?

You have to be cruel in examining these beliefs in order to be kind to yourself.

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We all face difficult, dark moments of self-realization, when we see the agreements we have made about ourselves and have to try to turn it around. When you can out these undesirable contracts you can begin to repair them.

We have to discover why we felt the lack and how we are feeling now about the same issue. Then we must align it to our higher self by breaking down the agreement piece by piece and offer it up to the light to be cleansed.

What do I mean by this?

This simply means to shed light on a problem. When it has come to our full attention we can dissemble it and make a new beneficial agreement about ourselves.

We need to look at ourselves and find the beauty inherent in us, not always trying to fish out our perceived faults. When you treat yourself with loving kindness and nurture your self-esteem with positive thoughts, you will begin to shift into alignment with your higher self.

“However, we must consider that some things are said in the heat of the moment and not really meant by the offender, so we really need to see why we made the agreement.”

Some of these agreements we made at a very young age. When we are young we have no inhibitions and sang at the top of our voices, danced our hearts out (whether someone was looking or not) and thought we were princesses and superheroes.

Then one day someone came along and made you feel less than what you felt about yourself. You may have paused to take it in – then you made a crucial decision.

Making the Agreement

Either you agreed with what they said or you didn’t. That is why some of us can still dance freely and not be bothered whilst others cringe at the thought of dancing in public – this could be due to an earlier experience of being made to feel like you were ‘no good’ by someone who was only giving you one piece of the puzzle.

What Puzzle?

When I said that the person was only giving one piece of the puzzle I mean that they have a preference based on their version of reality.

That is one person’s perspective in a sea of other possible candidates – ones who may have loved your form of expression.

This person could have also been a child, an acquaintance, a stranger or it could have been someone you trusted and loved deeply. The latter is often the case and can make the hurt twice as strong.

However, we must consider that some things are said in the heat of the moment and not really meant by the offender, so we really need to see why we made the agreement.

“We sometimes tend to disregard the ones who encourage us, leaving only space in our thoughts for the ones who hurt us.”

You also need to know that you can never have universal appeal with absolutely everyone.

You or your talents may not be one person’s cup of tea but what about all the other people in the world who will resonate with your particular brand of uniqueness.

Neither being important though because it is ultimately you who needs to please you. When you do this then you are immediately accepted and no outside influence can make you feel anything other than what you know yourself to be.

“Without diversity in hair colour, body shapes, talents, voices, tastes, etc we would be tantamount to sheep running around in a field day in and day out – bah-bah-boring!”

We sometimes tend to disregard the ones who encourage us, leaving only space in our thoughts for the ones who hurt us.

Why is this, I wonder?

Everyone has the urge to be liked and accepted for who they are. This is normal. But what we need to redefine is what is normal?

Every soul is special and has equally unique attributes, abilities and ways of expressing themselves creatively. There should be no judgment.

What do We do About That Sheeple Judge?

When there is judgment on this, we must question the one doing the judging.

Without freedom of expression this world would be a very dull place. Without diversity in hair colour, body shapes, talents, voices, tastes, etc we would be tantamount to sheep running around in a field day in and day out – bah-bah-boring!

Love your difference, embrace yourself.

Begin to discover, on the deepest level, who you truly are and what you have done – not only in this lifetime but in the countless life experiences you have had. Draw on the wealth of talents you have that you haven’t even begun to extract from your being.

Know Thyself!

As the oracle in the movie The Matrix had written above her kitchen door: ‘Know thyself’ (a long-established ancient Greek aphorism).

When you do, there is nothing anyone can say or do to you that would ever hurt you because you will be resolute as to who you are and nobody can take that away from you, unless you allow them to.

 “Empowerment comes from fearing no-thing and facing every day with courage and love in your heart.”

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When you are living with the statement ‘be the best you can be’ and you are doing this with all your integrity and might then you have nothing to fear.

Empowerment comes from fearing no-thing and facing every day with courage and love in your heart. Strive to be the best and do the best you can in every situation and you will be living in your integrity and you will know yourself.

Then words or energy that does not fit with your frequency or vibration will not even penetrate your field of self. You have become the master of your life and your reality.

Something worth looking into, wouldn’t you say?

Do you have something that you just can’t not take personally?  What is it and can you perhaps trace when you made the agreement?

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