7 Ways to Tame the Ego and Become Instantly Likeable

 “If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the 
internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need 
to be approved, and the need to judge.” ~ Deepak Chopra

What is the Ego?

I remember having a conversation with someone once, we were talking about Eckhart Tolle and the ego identification.  The lady I was talking to piped up and said, ‘well, I don’t have an ego’.

“Do you get that an ego is the identification you have with your self and who you are, what you do and how others perceive you?”

Let me make this perfectly clear:  Everybody has an ego!  Here is the dictionary definition of this fruity little word:

e·go – 

  1. the “I” or self of any person; a person as thinking, feeling, and willing, and distinguishing itself from the selves of others and from objects of its thought.
  2. the part of you that reacts to the outside world and thus mediates between the primitive drives of the id and the demands of the social and physical environment.
  3. egotism; conceit; self-importance.
  4. self-esteem or self-image; feelings.
  5. the enduring and conscious element that knows experience.

Aligning with Your Awareness of Ego

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Are you a prancing show-pony or a shrinking violet?  Either one has an imbalanced sense of self.

Now that we have cleared up the myth of the ego being only a no. 3 definition of the strutting peacock itching to get recognition and praise, we can move on to ways of coping with your ego.

“Ego is the biggest enemy of humans” ~ Rig Veda

Do you get that an ego is the identification you have with your self and who you are, what you do and how others perceive you?

So even someone who is timid and an introvert has a problem with ego identification.  It is just in reverse but the principle remains.  When you feel yourself either inferior or superior to others — you have ego issues.

Disidentifying With the Ego

The ego is an inseparable part of you, it is not the enemy.  It is how you let your ego use you that can be detrimental to the quality of your life.

“Masters know when to speak, when to be silent and when their words will be like farting against thunder.”

I am, in no way, saying that the ego needs suppression or containment, just proper management and understanding — it’s as simple as that.  Your ego identification is an integral part of you, and like the universal concept that we are both yin and yang/light and dark, you need it.  You are a unique individual with irrevocable personality traits in your toolkit — this is the part of ego that can be embraced.  The key is to see this beautiful quality in every other soul.

Here is the pitfall of the ego — it wants to be separate from the whole, better than the rest and put itself somewhere untouchable.  This is the downfall of our current society, it is a separatist theory that pits people against each other and keeps them in an ‘us against them’ mental construct.

This is the dangerous element of the ego — the total takeover and manipulation of the authentic self.  Unfortunately, most of our worlds cultures are primarily caught up in the subconscious identification of the ego.

So how can you disconnect and tame your ego?

Let’s Spring Clean this Concept

There are 7 fundamental principles to keeping your ego in check.  Let’s explore them now:

  • Water Off a Ducks Back — do not take things
    personally.  When you do, you are subconsciously (or consciously) in agreement with whatever you have taken offense at.  This can leave you in constant need for validation from external sources which is the need of the ego.  Be at peace with what other people think of you, even if it is not congruent with how you see yourself.  You are never going to have universal appeal, there will always be someone out there who doesn’t like you — get over it now and save yourself any future distress.  Acceptance of what is is key.  For more about this in-depth trait, click here: Do You Take Things Personally?
  • Think Before You Speak — honour the power of your words and you will honour not only others but your sense of self.  Choose your words wisely.  You will be in control instead of having a hurtful motor-mouth.  People will pick up on this and return it in kind.  Practicing the integrity of your words will result in a better quality of life for yourself and those with whom you interact.
  • Hold Your Tongue — the ego loves to make itself right.  A common trap to fall into is trying to make someone else see that you are right. Really?  Is it that important for you to force someone to see life through your eyes and perceptions?
    No, that is your ego trying to justify itself.  Masters know when to speak, when to be silent and when their words will be like farting against thunder.  Control over your mouth is like having control over your sphincter muscle at a dinner party.  Exercise it and you will notice how easy it becomes to have total control of outbursts or having to explain yourself constantly. The best book I ever read about learning to be impeccable with your words is ‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz (a must have for your spiritual library).
  • Don’t Buy into the Labels — get in touch with who you really are and reconnect
    to your source or core being.  Look past the labels and identifications that society plasters you with.  You are not your profession, you are not the role you play in your family or community.  You are a special individual spark of the Divine that is nameless and authentic.  Get to grips with that through meditation (click here for an article about 5 Easy Steps to Meditating).
  • Quit Comparisons — learn to be comfortable in your own skin.  There is no-one in the world like you — from your individual fingerprints to all the exclusive experiences your soul has accumulated.  Comparing yourself to others is another trick of the ego — don’t fall for it.  Fall in love with yourself (read an article about this HERE).
  • Count Your Blessings — instead of complaining about all the things that are wrong with your physical appearance and situation, try to see all the positive
    aspects of your life and body.
  • See Divinity En-Masse — don’t try to elevate yourself above or bury yourself below others.  You are part of a collective consciousness of Divine souls here on Earth.  See the divinity in yourself and see it in others too.  The ego won’t be able to do this.  If you are finding resistance, you need to go into why you can’t accept that your fellow human beings are just as much a part of God as you are.  To see the internal beauty in another will put you on a level playing field instead of comparing yourself and others and passing dangerous judgments.

Why Will This Guarantee My Success?

How to Train Your Dragon of an Ego by Cherie Roe Dirksen

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When you tame the ego, you are paving the way for smooth and easy life flow.  You relinquish judgments, comparisons and the need to be or feel superior.  This is a frequency that you will project and I guarantee that people will be attracted to you.  People standing in their truth and integrity are like moths to a flame — be it in your personal or professional life.

Your ego won’t go away but you can have control over it instead of it running amuck with you.

When you do have control, you will never feel the need for superiority nor inferiority to any one else.  You simply are — a state of grace, least resistance and an inner knowing of peace.  Now isn’t that something worth going after?

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10 Ascension Tips You Need to Know

Cosmic Dance

As tongue-in-cheek as this article title intended to be — there is something to this biblical concept of ‘ascension’ but it may not be what you think.

To Be or Not To Be…What Was the Question?

Who am I?  

If this has been your question, then I would like to officially welcome you to the human race.

What needs to be clarified is that you know who you are.  You are the I Am that I Am.  This is not just some new flavour caption or the latest (or possibly, oldest) spiritual declaration of the times. This is a statement that holds no ego, no space and no time.  This is your true identity.  When you question your identity, you believe that you are less than what you are.  You are never this — you are only stuck in the illusion or the dream that you are lacking in some way or another.

Your Personal Spiritual Path

Now to find true meaning behind the saying is your spiritual path — your journey to enlightenment.  To say the words with no meaning or context is useless and is as effective as saying any prayer like a parrot and not feeling the words being said.

“You do not need to ‘find’ yourself because you were and are never lost.”

We so often miss this vital point.  Your ‘homework’ is to give juice to this phrase.  You do not need to ‘find’ yourself because you were and are never lost.  You need to rediscover who you are because you have forgotten – that’s all.  How you get to this point is entirely up to you.  Every soul takes a unique path to their spiritual awakening and this can be fun and daunting at the same time.  Now, this brings me to ascension – the latest hot topic.

Don’t Be Fooled by the Rapture

EscapismWill some be beamed off the face of the Earth (possibly like the Mayan civilization – disappeared never to be seen again) or will we all die and move on to the wondrous 5th dimension that has been promised by so many prophets and soothsayers?  Will the religiously righteous be taken up to heaven while the rest are left to fight out the apocalypse?  Is this all just one big hoax or money-making scheme?

They do seem like rather strange questions, don’t they? But believe it or not, they are being asked. We are looking outside ourselves for answers and we want them fast.

Some were even led to believe that the 21st December 2012 was going to be ‘the date’.

Now here’s how I understand this cosmic rapturing conundrum.

Could Love Be Key to the Ascension?

Ascension is a state of elevating yourself into a different level of consciousness and, in my humble opinion, is not a physical event.  This is a lateral and not a literal experience.

What has love got to do with it?  Let’s examine this more closely.

Firstly, fear is the catalyst for being in an eternal drama.  I say eternal because if you don’t break the pattern of fear it will lead to the inevitable cycle of karma – cause and effect.  You will be doing it again if you don’t learn this time around.

“You incarnated with the intention to overcome the illusion and fear is the root cause of all illusion.”

This is not some form of punishment – this will come from the will of your over soul – your higher self. You incarnated with the intention to overcome the illusion and fear is the root cause of all illusion.  Love is the reality and love will cancel out all fear.

So your job is to examine fear – not to push it aside like most of us are guilty of doing but to take it out and look at it.  We need to face the fear and walk through it.  You can take this literally or metaphorically, the choice is yours and will fit the situation.

Trust Your Gut Instinct

Your discernment is the key factor in outing your darkness.  Only you know what cobwebs are lurking in the deep caverns of your soul.  Only you can dust those corners and expose them to the light.

If some fears need facing head on, then do it!  If some need therapy, then do it!  If some need deep reflection and meditation, then do it!  No more excuses.  If you are making excuses, for whatever reasons you have, be very sure that you are fully aware that your excuses ARE your choices.

“No-one else is responsible for you.”

If you choose to excuse yourself from your lessons then you will be in for another round on the karma wheel – your choice.  Some people take longer to pull finger than others – this applies to lifetimes too, you know.  So it is appropriate that some will not achieve full enlightenment in this lifetime, there will be other lifetimes to battle this out – your choice.  If you are a go-getter, then why not make it this lifetime?

As Yoda said, ‘Do or do not – there is no try’.  But the bottom line to this bollocking is that you must be responsible for your choices.  No-one else is responsible for you.  If this is your mindset you are in for a rude awakening!  No pun intended.

I Am that I Am

Now let’s get back to ascension. Ascension, for me, is embodying your experience here on earth by:

  • knowing at a deep soul level your ‘I Am’ presence (being resolute about who you are),
  • accepting what is and always knowing when to take appropriate loving action when there is something you can change,
  • understanding that unconditional love holds the answer to all problems,
  • finding the compassion in any situation and forgiving freely,
  • giving freely with no attachment,
  • seeing divinity en-masse, with no exceptions,
  • knowing, at all times, that there is divine order,
  • knowing you are a part of the entire system called ‘life’ therefore stepping into unity consciousness,
  • honouring all life — in whatever shape or form, including self,
  • being comfortably in the world but not of it.

We need to face everything with resolution that all is in divine order.  Whatever is just is.  There is a peace that comes with this acceptance.  If you are fighting this phrase you still need to accept that there is divine order and that you are divine.

If you do feel this then when you are faced with a fear based situation, be the calm presence.

“There simply is no ‘ceasing to exist’ – even if you do leave your body behind.”

Even if this situation means death – all you have to do is state I AM THAT I AM.  If you die in fear you will generate a lesson that you will have to walk through again…yup, the good ‘ol wheel of karma.

If you die stating and knowing in your heart that you ARE the divine, you have accepted mastery.  You are in dharma or nirvana.  There simply is no ‘ceasing to exist’ — even if you do leave your body behind.  If you ascend with or without your body —state the I AM THAT I AM.

Your only job is to make sure you know what you are stating and that it is felt in your heart.

The Heart Chakra

When you are faced with fear, try to concentrate your energy on your heart center.  Feel your heart swell with love and gratitude for whatever brings you these feelings in your life – whether it be your children, grandchildren, pets, friends, anything that brings you joy and feelings of elation — this is how you will elevate yourself into a different frequency.  Now expand that feeling.

Practice this over and over again until you can switch on the sensation of immense love whenever you have to.  When you send out love and light to the world or to anyone or anything, make sure you are feeling the love in your heart centre (chakra).  This makes it more potent and it will bring more of that feeling back to you – so it’s a win-win situation.

When you love, there simply is no space left for fear.  You will be on a different vibratory plane.  Fear won’t ‘fit’ anymore.

Truth Be Told

I read a channeled message saying that we need to speak our truths.  If you don’t speak your truth for fear of what people may think of you, you are not ready.  That resonated with me and I am now fully motivated to stand up and say it like it is and if people think I’m a nutter, well, why the hell not!

I am proud to stand up at AA (abnormal anonymous – although not quite so anonymous anymore) and say, ‘Hi, my name is Cherie and I am completely abnormal.  But hey, I Am that I Am.’

The ascension is the awakening to your divine self, the knowledge that you are a part of God and the acceptance that everything has divine order and purpose.  In order to do this, you must also see this divinity en-masse — in everyone and everything.  How can peace and love not arise with this attitude?

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