The above quotation is what is sometimes referred to as the ‘smoky mirror’ syndrome. We don’t like in others what we don’t care to admit is a fault within us.
How Can I Identify this Kind of Behaviour in Myself?
An example of this could be that you are very annoyed with your colleague for never allowing you to get your point across. This may be a reflection of how you behave at times. It may not be with this specific person, it could be something that you do to your friends or family, in a completely different environment from the workplace.
This is why it is difficult for us to sometimes identify the problem within ourselves — we simply don’t recognize its existence.
“Awareness allows for truth to flow through a situation.”
It is imperitive to find time for deep inner reflection, questioning and, above all, honesty when it comes to dealing with trying to figure out why your buttons are being pushed.
When you can identify the behaviour within yourself, you have found the awareness to deal with it. Awareness allows for truth to flow through a situation. So instead of reacting the next time your colleague doesn’t allow for you to have your say, see if this inner questioning system works:
- Do I need to ‘have my say’ or can I simply be the still presence and say nothing?
- If not, why is it that I feel the need to reciprocate?
- Does it make me feel less important when I remain silent?
- Do I really need to convince my colleague of my point of view or is this my ego wanting to control the situation?
Be honest with yourself.
Now when you find yourself on the giving end of the situation — in this instance, you will be the one doing all the talking and not letting anyone else have a word — see if you can:
- Identify that you have perhaps not allowed anyone else to talk or contribute.
- Can you stop talking once this awareness has broken through?
- Are you comfortable with letting someone else speak and listening to their point of view?
I have only given one example here of how the smoky mirror can work, please try to mould this example to fit in with any situation you are having difficulties with.
If you can’t identify the behaviour in yourself, then perhaps you can go out on a limb and ask a friend if they see this behaviour in you. Don’t be angry if your friend can identify it, just remember that you are on the path to self-empowerment and you need to be able to not take things personally.
Call to Action!
Can you share a story about recognizing the actions of another reflected in yourself? How are you dealing with that? Share your wisdom…
Are you having problems seeing this concept in yourself? Is there no way that you mirror the bad behaviour you see in others that irritates you?
Are you walking a fine line between acknowledging your faults or finding that you are just being objectively critical?
For further reading, please see my other blogs:
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…Who’s in the Most Denial of Us All?
Do You Take Things Personally?
More about this topic can also be found in my book ‘Divine You – Redefining Love in the New Earth’ (where the above quotation was taken from).
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I am just aggravated today. Every time I turn around someone is trying to take my hard earned money. I am tired and broke. It just seems so unfair that no matter how I try I cannot get ahead in this life
Sorry to hear you feel that way – life can certainly feel that way at times. Take a deep breath and release all those feelings, they’re only going to bring about more. Try starting anew with a mantra like: ‘I surround myself with people who care and support me. I am naturally abundant and have more than enough money.’ I wrote an article about my ‘a-ha’ moment with the phrase ‘life isn’t fair’ or ‘shit happens’ – maybe it will help you: https://cherieroedirksen.com/2017/05/10/the-key-to-success-that-may-surprise-you-it-surprised-me/ Try this video too – it’s about realigning with your innate gratitude: https://cherieroedirksen.com/2017/06/21/how-to-realign-with-innate-gratitude/ I hope that helps you to create from a better space 🙂 xxx
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Cherie I absolutely love your insightful writings. You know it feels just fine being me! I am often criticised for being ‘too caring’. Keep in touch and keep up your most wonderful work. It is more important than you maybe realise!! ❤ xx Lynda, Edinburgh (artist/tutor)
Thank you, Lynda :). What a great feeling it is to be fine with yourself, good on you! Thanks for your words of encouragement. Take care xxx
I read this same idea in “Embracing Ourselves” by Hal and Sidra Stone. It is an book which made me completely rethink my thoughts and behaviour!
I must see if I can get my hands on that book — sounds interesting! 🙂
Yes, it’s truly fantastic. I had a yoga teacher that used the methods in the book in her workshops – it had life changing effects!