News Forecast, Just In

Due to high levels of stress and anxiety, the human race is collectively clearing all dross and karma in preparation for a higher state of consciousness. All those who are unaware of this present condition are urged to be cautious whilst traveling outside their door.

Here are some of the symptoms one can expect from their fellow-man during the shift of energies:

• Stress and anxiety in copious amounts
• Lack of enthusiasm at work or even for life
• Heightened emotional responses which can include outbursts, crying, temper tantrums, etc.
• Feeling that nobody understands you
• Feeling abandoned or isolated
• Feeling frustrated
• Feeling great anticipation but not knowing what for
• Being on your last nerve and highly strung
• Severe mood swings

Physical symptoms can include:

• Ringing in the ears
• Feeling off-balance
• Dizzy spells
• Aching back and neck
• Upset stomach
• Depression
• Feeling listless
• Insomnia or over-sleeping
• Constant fatigue
• Loss of appetite or surge of appetite for certain things (especially protein)
• Heart palpitations

I know a lot of you may think, ‘well, she’s just listed about everything that there is’.  True, but these are genuine symptoms that people of all ages are experiencing en masse — just start-up a conversation with anyone about this and you’ll see.

So What’s Happening?

Let’s cut through the BS and get straight to it.  We are in the middle of a massive planetary alignment and shit-storm.

Energy in the form of solar flares to gamma rays are bombarding us at every level.  Our bodies are absorbing these energies and adapting.  This means that we need to take it easy, relax and have loads of down-time.

Think of it like we are a bunch of computers who have just got an upgrade.  The computer needs to be rebooted (precisely where we stand at the moment) and to log on again using the new software.

There will be an orientation period where we need to assimilate what is happening to us on an emotional and physical level.  It is also happening very fast and for this reason alone, we need to take care of our physical and emotional needs.  This can be done by:

• Drinking lots of clean, pure water
• Eating fresh foods, especially root vegetables (needed for grounding)
• Rest, rest, and oh have I said this yet?  MORE REST!  Babies need to sleep because they are growing, we need the same because we are changing physically as we absorb these new energies from the solar system
• Release pent-up emotions by either having a good cry, a good shout, a loud scream or any other way of letting out the steam (go listen to Tears for Fears ‘Shout’ — some sound advice there)
• Get yourself a talking buddy and talk!  Let it all hang out…don’t hold back, even if you end up talking to your pet or writing it out — let it go
• Meditate — get quiet and listen to what your soul wants.  You don’t have to be a guru to do this, you just need to switch off the TV, radio, iPod, blah blah and feel comfortable with silence, then go within.  You will be amazed at the answers that await you in this place of stillness

The Cure

The upshot of all this is, if you have your umbrella and perhaps don a pair of wellies, you can go splashing around in puddles and have some fun!  Even if you are a sorry sack at the moment, don’t forget to inject some humour and playfullness into your life. Lately, I’ve been finding comedy and laughing a good source of upliftment.

As they say ‘laughter is the best medicine’ — go on, try it out.  Here, I’ll even help you out.  To get you started, watch these 3 classics (I’m watching you!  I’ll know if you skip the last one — just because it’s a Muppets sketch don’t think it isn’t pant-wettingly funny):

What have you been experiencing lately?

Does any of this ring true to you?

Or do you think this is a bunch of new age baloney?

It’s okay to speak truthfully and to have your say.  Get it off your chest.  Oh, and while you’re at it, you might as well share the link  to your most favourite comedy sketch.  Broadcast the humour!