How to Blow Off Steam with Impeccability

Posted on July 31, 2013 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

Are You Speaking Badly About Someone or Merely Speaking the Truth?

I pray on the principle that wine knocks the cork out of a bottle. There is an inward fermentation, and there must be a vent. ~Henry Ward Beecher

Here’s a difficult topic — are you a gossiping Gerty or is your mouth sealed so tight, you’ve become a clam?

This has been a hot topic in my circle of friends lately as we are all trying to remain in our integrity and avoid that dastardly, lower vibrational activity that is gossip.

Have you noticed that when you are either amongst people whose mouths are flapping off about someone else that you feel quite uncomfortable — like a squirmy little worm who needs to wiggle away to find richer soil?

Maybe it’s you who has started yapping about someone else and you later feel incredible guilt about this — you bad dog, you!

I’m sure that most of us have been guilty of the odd gossip at some stage in our lives but what is the difference between talking behind someone’s back and actually venting about a situation?

Calm Dialogue versus Dramatization

Sometimes two friends get talking and the next thing you are venting about someone who is causing some irritation or discomfort in your life. You feel that the kettle is boiling and a little steam needs to be let out. It’s healthier to blow off a bit of steam than it is to wait until you explode!

Now, how do you do this without gossiping?

Let’s clear this up with an example of a dialogue:

You: My sister is really irritating me lately. She just keeps on getting into trouble and I have to bail her out all the time. I’ve had enough.

Your friend: Maybe you need to give her a little bit of space so she can work things out on her own.

You: Yes, it will be difficult but you’re right. Helping her out every time she’s in a mess is actually disempowering her and frustrating me. She needs to face the consequences of her choices.

Your friend: Exactly. Make sure she knows you love her and the reasons that you are detaching and see how it goes from there.

Okay, now I know that this scenario is like the most ideal dialogue ever and in real life it’s going to sound a teensy-weensy bit different (especially if you are really pee’d off) but you get the gist of it, right?

This is an example of allowing yourself to vent or talk about something/someone that is on your mind in a way that is in your integrity (i.e. the truth of the situation) and is done in a tactful manner.

Let’s take a look at the flip side of the coin:

You: My sister is such a mean person. I can’t handle her rubbish anymore. She needs to just get out of my life for good!

Your friend: I know! I’ve never really liked her. She is such a leach and you have done so much for her.

You: Tell me about it! And what do I get in return? All her grief and worries!

Your friend: I’m going to give her a piece of my mind when I see her again.

I’m going to stop there because I can carry on for hours (*grin*). It’s like the script from ‘Days of our Lives’. Drama, drama and a little more drama!

Here is a prime example of gossip. Can you notice the difference?

The latter dialogue is not coming from a place of integrity, it is coming from your ego that is offended and taking things personally. There is no form of love in this rant.

Seek Out Compassion and Understanding and Venom Dissolves

Even though the person in question might be doing things to you that are less than loving, it doesn’t require for you to fight fire with fire. The best thing you can do is to detach with love and find the compassion for that person.

Why are they hurting?

No-one who is in alignment with their core will find the need to cause you grief ergo they must be in pain. You don’t need to heal their pain, only they can do that. But you can exercise compassion and love them from afar.

Help if you can and it isn’t going to cause your energy to be drained.

We must learn how to explode! Any disease is healthier than the one provoked by a hoarded rage. ~Emil Cioran

So the upshot is to recognize the need to get something off your chest and to act it out in your integrity without giving into the ego and dramatizing the situation. Tell it like it is and give yourself that much-needed space and time to open up and vent instead of bottling things up inside.

Blow off that steam whilst remaining impeccable with your words — I think it is possible, do you? Join the conversation in the comment section bellow

Original article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Purpose Fairy

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Are You Bottling Up Your Feelings?

4 Ways to Motivate Yourself Out of Bed

5 Fundamental Steps to a Thriving Relationship

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4 Simple Tips on How to Stay Calm at Family Reunions

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How to Destroy a Frown with One Simple Trick

Posted on July 24, 2013 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

Kiss the Rain (Kiss My Butt!)

I woke up this morning with a cloud of doom and gloom hovering over my head — a mood that can only most succinctly be labeled as feeling utterly ‘crap’. There is just no other word to encapsulate the emotion that would do it justice. The weather even reflected my dull mood as it was freezing cold and raining heavily.

My leaking roof dripped dulcetly into a bucket reminding me that, metaphorically speaking, I had leakages and the dams were getting ready to burst. It sure felt like it as I gulped back the tears.

I had had a bad dream and I felt like the floor could just swallow me up as I sat on my couch not even bothering to make myself a morning cuppa. The dream was bringing back uncomfortable memories of earlier life experiences and issues.

Lunatics and Full Moons

Original Acrylic Painting by Cherie Roe Dirksen

Prints and Greeting Cards Available – click on picture

I pondered these issues and came to my resolutions but still felt completely voided — I really intensely can’t bear this zero-point energy! 2013 was labeled astrologically and esoterically as the ‘Year of Full Moons’ and it sure is living up to all expectation.

One minute you’re on a high and the next minute you’re begging for the earth to swallow you whole.

My husband meandered down the stairs and after settling down, got the rundown of why my face looked like I was sucking on a sour-worm confectionary — a sight he is not that unfamiliar with.

Ebbs and Flows

We are both used to each others severe energetic mood swings by now and, no, it’s not because we are schizophrenic or in any dire need of a high dosage of Lithium — it’s a part of our reconfiguration to all this new energy influx, what some are calling the birthing of a new age or the ascension of humanity. Read more about that HERE.

But let’s get back to this 3D life of woe and misery…

Music is My First Love

I had things to do; dishes to wash, paintings to package (a chore that has me getting my knickers in a knot with tape in my hair and cardboard lying all over the floor — suffice to say, not something I relish) and other tedious work-related stuff.

What to do?

Prints and Greeting Cards Available — click on picture

I reached over for my iPod and placed it on the docking station. The Beatles started playing ‘Rain’ (how appropriate!) and I instantly felt my mood begin to lift as I boogied down to some good old ’60’s rock.

I know I’ve banged on about this before but I just feel it needs reiterating; MUSIC CURES ALL AILS!

Seriously, I thought nothing was going to bring me out of this pit but within 30 seconds my arse was swaying to the synchronized sounds of the fab four.

Mike looked at me, eyebrows raised as if to say, ‘And now?’. I just smiled…sweet music, my hero!

Next step: Where’s my coffee plunger?

Time for some chat back….

Who’s your favourite band/musician?
What music instantly lifts your vibration?
Have you ever tried music therapy?
Does music lift your spirits when you’re down in the dumps?

Other articles you may enjoy:

7 Ways to Lift You from Depression

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2 Musical Quotations To Take Note Of

What Always Helps Me Out When I’m Stuck in ‘The Void’

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3 Sound Reasons to Dispel the Myth that You Can’t Afford Art

Posted on July 17, 2013 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

When one hears the terms ‘galleries’, ‘art collectors’ or ‘investment art’, one immediately thinks of big bucks and inaccessibility but thanks to the ingenuity of certain online sites and galleries, you are most likely in the position to buy original art right now!

Here’s why:

Bid or Buy (a trustworthy and reputable online auction/shopping site that I have used for over 8 years now) has a PayLater plan for approved, secure sellers. Now you can buy original art and pay it off monthly. For example: The painting on the right works out to R340.00 per month (approx. $34.00) with PayLater (click on the picture to take you to Bid or Buy — the PayLater symbol is on the right of the page, underneath ‘add to cart’). They also conveniently accept Paypal, EFT’s, credit cards, Discovery Miles and loads more other payment options to make life easier for your online shopping requirements.

CLICK HERE TO EASILY CONVERT TO YOUR CURRENCY

Saatchi Online offers original art from around the world at every income level. They even have a curator who scours the site every single day for fresh and exciting work by artists from every corner of the globe to put in collections that range from under $1000 to under $100! There are so many great works and diverse artists to choose from but here are a few to get you going:

RedBubble is an online print site that offers excellent, high quality canvas prints, cards, photographic prints, matt prints, framed prints and posters at incredibly affordable prices. There is something here to please every pocket. Here are some tasters of what to expect at this site — an array of artists and a sea of colour, different styles and ingenuity:

So, with all these options, can you honestly say that you can’t do anything about those empty wall spaces?

Do you own original art?

Do you prefer to buy prints?

Other articles you may enjoy:

Painting Pink Floyd — Soldiering Through the Minefield of Emotion

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Zebra Fever — Jazzing Up Your Walls With Stripes!

Healing Through Art — The Gates to Wonderland Just Got Flung Wide Open

Can Using Yellow in Art Enhance Your Mood?

Do You Own White Bare Walls? Spice Them Up Today with Affordable Style!

Are You Bottling Up Your Feelings?

Posted on July 10, 2013 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

Internalizing or Externalizing — that is the Question!

Suffering is traumatic and awful and we get angry and we shake our fists at the heavens and we vent and rage and weep. But in the process we discover a new tomorrow, one we never would have imagined otherwise. ~Rob Bell

I come across a lot of people who either build up a big drama around their problems or they internalize them.

It’s one thing to go around needlessly gossiping about people and wreaking verbal havoc but it’s an entirely different case to shut up like a clam instead of allowing yourself to blow off some steam.

The ones who internalize their problems usually don’t like to ‘talk’ about people behind their back or find it inappropriate (venting about your children) or disrespectful (especially in the case of your parents) which, of course, is very noble indeed but there are certain instances where it can be appropriate, if not detrimental, to talk about your problems.

Finding Perspective amongst Guilt

No matter who is causing you distress — it’s not personal. There is often a lot of misunderstanding between a person and their actions. You may still love that person dearly but they have done something (the action) to fluff your feathers.

Holding onto the problem could cause you to like them less and less but addressing the core before it festers can give you that space to figure out your next step without losing any love for that person over it.

So, let’s get this ball rolling by addressing some potential situations.

There should be no guilt in:

Admitting that your child has done something to annoy you — it is no reflection on you as a parent or them as a child — it is what it is. You still love them but their action has caused you unease. You’re not a Stepford Wife, you know. I know the perceived ‘norm’ is to always have a smiley face and a tray of milk and cookies for your child, however, the bald-faced truth is that parenting can be overwhelming at times and you are entitled to vent about your little darlings without fear of judgment.

Discussing a problem you may have with a partner, friend or family member to someone you trust with the information as long as it comes from a place of integrity (i.e. the truth and not the dramatized version).

Talking about how you may not be coping at the moment. When you internalize this it becomes like a festering sore that causes you more and more pain until one day it pops at the most inconvenient time and you are left with a sticky mess to mop up. Even worse, you have a physical breakdown. It’s okay to talk about how you are feeling no matter how ‘dark’ you may think it is. Once you let it out of your system, you have the potential to let it go or find a solution, if not just get the support you may need.

The Lone Warrior

If you feel you can’t talk about these things or you don’t have anyone who will listen that you trust, it’s best to let it out and vent in whatever way you can.

Some healthy examples would be to:

Have a little cry (hell, even a big one!) — there’s nothing more releasing than letting your emotions out through a healthy blubber and don’t feel guilty for it! Rather feel guilty for not allowing yourself the freedom to express yourself.

Find some solitude and belt out a scream — this can also work well as long as you are not within the audible radius of a nosy neighbor.

Put on your boxing gloves and get out that punching bag — it’s a liberating feeling to blow off some steam through physical activity.

Write out your feelings and then burn the paper — this can also be an emancipating experience. When you write something down you are releasing it from your internal dialogue and unburdening the mind. Burning it is symbolic of having vented your problem and you are now ready to move on or find a solution.

Human beings are emotional. We need to express ourselves. Of course, we need to exercise a certain amount of restraint when doing this — i.e. don’t hurt anyone in the process — but there are safe ways of doing it as outlined above.

The worst thing you could do is to bottle up your feelings and wait for the cork to explode one day. You are helping nobody out, least of all yourself, when you don’t blow off some steam about your woes.

Everyone Gets to Park Off on the Lavatory Daily

Remember that old saying; when you feel intimidated by someone remember that they too need to use the toilet every day (slightly euphemized here)? Well, this concept is kind of similar. Everyone has problems, don’t think you are alone.

Everyone needs to take a dump once in a while and everyone has to face problems in their life every now and again.

To talk about it is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you can admit you are vulnerable and that your ego doesn’t have you by the short and curlies.

The ego is the thing that wants to exude an outer appearance of having it all, coping with life and just being a regular robotic superhuman. The fact is that you’re not. No-one is and it’s great!

Whoop-de-doo, we’re all messed up and we should celebrate our daftness together and not have to feel guilty about it ever again!

Original article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for PURPOSE FAIRY

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How to Blow Off Steam with Impeccability

4 Ways to Motivate Yourself Out of Bed

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Only 50 Shades of Grey — What Happened to the Rest?

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4 Ways to Motivate Yourself Out of Bed

Posted on July 3, 2013 by Cherie Roe Dirksen

“I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

You may be good (or in the above case not) in bed but how good are you at rising? Right, now that I have your attention…

Are You a Morning or a Mourning Person?

I love to sleep in (don’t we all?). But at some point of the morning one has to muster up the pluck to actually get out of that nice warm bed and brave the cold/the kids/the untidy house/the boss/the traffic/the kitty litter/(insert general problematic encounter here).

As I was lying in bed this morning, blearily preparing to pry open my eyes, I started with my morning ‘head banter’. I then realized that my thought process on this fine and sunny morn would make for a titillating blog (always capitalizing on my life!).

If you are one of the lucky few (0.001% of the global population) who eagerly jumps out of bed at the crack of dawn with a glint in your eye and a spring in your step — bully for you! However, even you may glean value from what I’m about to divulge.

“You will start to see just how incredibly powerful you are as a creator of your experience.”

Here it goes, my list of morning motivating muses:

1. How Do I Want Today to Turn Out? As Will Pharrell sang, ‘It might seem crazy what I’m about to say, Sunshine she’s here, you can take a break. I’m a hot air balloon that could go to space. With the air, like I don’t care, baby, by the way…Because I’m happy‘ — try to start your awakening mind rolling in the direction of a positive affirmation, like telling yourself just how bizarrely splendid today is going to be. Hell, it could be the best damn day of your life!

Let your thoughts steamroll with the idea of having good things happen to you on this day. If you have something to do today that you are dreading or feel uneasy about, now is your chance to manipulate that situation to how you want to see it play out. If it is a dreary task or something with unavoidable lackluster, tell yourself that it is going to go quickly and smoothly so you can get on with something fun afterwards.

2. How Is Today Going to Look? As you lie under your cozy covers, start to visualize this splendid day — make a movie in your head. Start to see how you want it to pan out — direct, director!

You can draw it out with a detailed synopsis or you can conjour up a quick run-through. Just remember to see yourself smiling and laughing a lot. Have copious amounts of ‘good times’ squeezed into this productive day.

Whenever I do this visualization technique, it really does affect how my day starts to unfold (for the better). You will start to see just how incredibly powerful you are as a creator of your experience.

“You’re only as excited by life as how exciting you can be…”

3. Who Do I Want to Be Today? Express yourself! You’ve got to ‘dress for success’. Jeez, I feel like I’m writing about Pop songs here. This may seem like a bit of a strange and unspiritual thing to put in this article but I’ve only just started seeing this from a new perspective. Men, this applies to you too. There is nothing wrong with expressing how you feel or your personality externally and it is becoming more and more acceptable for men to convey this type of sassy style and creativity.

I can also get into the rut of ‘dressing for comfort’ but have recently realized that it can get uber boring! I’ve been exposed to the delights of that online ‘visual’ feast site,Pinterest and, oh boy, have I got some fashion ideas! It can really broaden your style horizons (and I could do with a bit of that). After brain-storming, I have taken my existing wardrobe and fallen in love with it due to a few tweaks and accessories. I now dress according to my mood.

I could be a rock chick one day, a jeans and t-shirt girl the next, a sweet-16-and-never-been-kissed maiden (yeah, right!) to a sophisticated business woman — anything goes where the mood flows (and, yes, I can also just be in a sweat- pants and jumper mood).

It’s heaps of inventive fun! To add even more pizzazz to this daily routine, I sometimes tease my hair and stick it up in a beehive like Elvira or create a rat’s nest, for those of you who can cast your minds back to the ‘80’s, looking like Kim Wilde or Bonnie Tyler. As the saying goes ‘change is as good as a holiday’. My husband has a good chuckle on these ‘hair’ days when he sees me emerging from the bathroom after hearing the spray can at work. However, the main thing is to please and dress for yourself — if other people don’t have the guts to go a-la-mode, don’t let it put you off your pursuit.

Don’t take yourself too seriously either — experiment with your individual taste and mood and make this about fun. This is just another way of spicing up your life and getting creative. You’re only as excited by life as how exciting you can be or, to put it simply, exciting is as exciting does. You have a corporeal ‘Earth Suit’ while you are incarnation — you may as well use it to have some shits and giggles. Just remember when you look good, smell good and feel good — you exude confidence, which is key to having a good day.

4. What is the Soundtrack of Today? This is my favourite step of the feel-good program — figuring out what musical mood I’m in. When I make up my mind, my toes are already itching to hop out of bed.

After having your first cup of the day accompanied by catching up on the latest articles on Lightworkers World (*wink*), music can be a terrific motivator — especially when you are doing something mundane like housework or on your commute to work.

Put on that Queen greatest hits CD and hoover to ‘I want to break free’ or plan what music to listen that will elevate your mood whilst on your way to work. I actually cannot do the dishes without having some form of toe-tapping tune on the stereo. Spoons make for great pretend microphones and dishcloths can be stretched to make great air guitar solos.

When I’m driving, what I’m playing over the system has a tremendous effect on how jovial my trip is. Seriously though, music has a tendency to make things better and kick-start your day. Combine a cup of coffee or ginseng tea with Jimaroquai and you will be instantly transformed into a Duracell bunny.

I hope these tips works for you! Please do share your thoughts or successful morning rituals in the comment area below.

Original article written by Cherie Roe Dirksen for Lightworkers World

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5 Easy Steps to Get Your Life Back on Track

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How to Destroy a Frown with One Simple Trick

How to Blow Off Steam with Impeccability